Hello From Croatia

[Marks199]

I am born in south america and I grew up in croatia, my mother is colombian and my father is croatian I had a very difficult puberty because of my father it was one of the worst moments in my life because I`ve got anxyous and depressed my father was hyperproductive. He used to hiumiliate me a lot like for example:" you are useless, you wont be a man, you are an idiot, you are losing your life and time, you will never be able to be a real man." He tought me how to worry about the life, then I started to suffer from panic attacks I am suffering from generalized anxiety but I acheved to control it with chess and meditation.  I also live in a very conservative part of Croatia that is very closed minded and religious. And I would like to know if you colud recomend me smething like to improve me my self-confidece or better to cure myself from anxiety anyway I am already thankful if you read this.

[clytaemnestra]

47 minutes ago, Ivansmarks said:

conservative part of Croatia that is very closed minded and religious

Hello from Bosnia. Much worse here, trust me. But I don't think that you should let your society influence you. It's all about the attitude.

It's like a ship, when it is surrounded by water it won't sink, unless a water goes inside of a ship. 

Edited April 16, 2016 by clytaemnestra

[ana maria]

Hi there, listen to Leo's video on self esteem and DO the exercices, it helps a lot then try to find your passion in life and stick to it, the most powerfull  feeling that I ever experienced and brought me confidence was when I knew my work was very well done , so try to become the best at whatever you do.... I just started to get serious about personal developement, I'm not the best to give advices but I know that meditation cures anxiety , try it! 

[Emerald]

9 hours ago, Ivansmarks said:

I am born in south america and I grew up in croatia, my mother is colombian and my father is croatian I had a very difficult puberty because of my father it was one of the worst moments in my life because I`ve got anxyous and depressed my father was hyperproductive. He used to hiumiliate me a lot like for example:" you are useless, you wont be a man, you are an idiot, you are losing your life and time, you will never be able to be a real man." He tought me how to worry about the life, then I started to suffer from panic attacks I am suffering from generalized anxiety but I acheved to control it with chess and meditation.  I also live in a very conservative part of Croatia that is very closed minded and religious. And I would like to know if you colud recomend me smething like to improve me my self-confidece or better to cure myself from anxiety anyway I am already thankful if you read this.

I would make it a practice to pull apart your values and examine them. This will enable you to see their illusory nature, and they will no longer have a hold over your self-esteem because they'll no longer be a realistic metric for your personal sense of value. (You could also deconstruct the idea of value too, as value doesn't actually exist) 

If you grew up in a conservative area (or even if you grew up in a very liberal area) certain dogmas and beliefs about you and your worth are bound to creep into your worldview even if you disagree with them and don't want them there. Society is like the water that we've all been boiled in. It's hard to tell what's there.

So, if you feel bad about yourself, ask yourself why. For example, is it because you're not living up to the standards of masculinity/manhood set by your particular social group? Figure out what those qualities are. Then you can see that other societies have a different view of manhood/masculinity, and that these traits that you hold to be so important don't have much value if you change your location.

Or if you see yourself as a poor student, consider that there are a limited amount of subjects offered at school and that any subject could just as easily be taught there. It would be a potential possibility that if different subjects were taught, that you would be amazing at them.

So, deconstruct your idea of what makes a person valuable and see it for the illusion that it is. Then you can see how your father's strictness and high standards for you come from a place of fear. He's afraid that you will suffer social scorn and that he will suffer that same social scorn with you as well as the suffering of having your child be unhappy. You could call this abusive language he gives to you a very misguided attempt at showing love and avoiding pain. 

Edited April 17, 2016 by Emerald Wilkins