Kriya Yoga Help Please!

[Sukhpaal]

I’ve been doing Kriya Yoga for 3 months every morning and it was nice at the beginning but now it’s getting scary. At first, I started having out of body experiences, I was having mystical experiences basically everyday for a few weeks. But then everything fell apart. Lately I’ve been having extreme suicidal thoughts, hyper horniness, hyper anger, and just dark thoughts. Has anyone else here experienced anything like this? I’m thinking of taking a break because this is too much. 

[Salvijus]

"Even if the most wonderful thing happens to you, if you're not ready it will be a disaster."

You need to work on yourself to prepare your system on all levels before you go experience-hunting.

 

[OmniYoga]

sounds like you're making progress 
what technique or routine have you been using?

[Sukhpaal]

@Salvijus thanks, I too think I’m not ready.

@OmniYoga Just the first 4-5 exercises they teach and Kriya Pranama, my practice is around 13 minutes. My life is just getting out of hand, I can’t make sense of a lot of things anymore. Its becoming hard to even function without losing my mind. I think I bite off more than I can chew. 

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Sukhpaal said:

I’m thinking of taking a break because this is too much. 

Naturally found the way to the usefulness of meditation, self inquiry and contemplation. They compliment the yoga. 

With the yoga, is the purging of patterns the body / mind has identified with in thought & emotion. The purging of the deeper attachments of identity are arising / surfacing - so now allow the purge to complete, let it go.

How?

Meditation: Stomach breath awareness. This is ‘home’, peacefulness - through the purging process. Regarding the suicidal thoughts - the ego employs the notion that You could die, as a means to perpetuate itself. Do not give thinking attention -return attention to stomach breathing, allow ALL thoughts to be as they are.  Suicidal thoughts are not special, nor unique. They are just thoughts, like any other. What is needed is the practice of allowing them to be, by returning attention to stomach breathing.

Contemplation: Breath awareness meditation, relax / “send the let go signal” to each muscle from the crown to the toes. Then “have a look at” what is purging out - look at the sensation called horniness, look at the sensation called anger. Be inquisitive to their nature, explore them, accept them, see if there is any truth in them. 

There are great ‘results’, yet the inclination is to take a brake. Do not be fooled - this break is so the ego can continue is habits, it’s repetitive nature. At the rate you’re going, it would not be able to do this. 

After the purification is complete - I am filled with I am. 

After the purification of falsity, separation, things needed - I am all things, and no thing is needed. 

After fear is inspected - There was no one there who was afraid, there was no thing to fear. It was never anything more than attention to thoughts. 

[Sev]

I'm actually experiencing really bad side effects by myself, probably because of kriya. I think it is not a bad thing to take a little break and focus on grounding work. Also, you may want to add mahamudra to your routine, Santata Gamana says in his book that it lessens the side effects. Good luck!

[nistake]

2 hours ago, Sukhpaal said:

having extreme suicidal thoughts

That sounds really serious. Are you sure that Kriya triggered these kind of emotions in you?

[Sukhpaal]

@nistake I’ve had issues with depression but nothing like this. I’ve lost all meaning in life it kinda feels like dark night of the soul in a sense. Everything feels like it has no meaning and therefor I feel like its just never ending suffering, I’ve even had very strange day dreaming which I could never had imagined

[nistake]

Maybe it's ego backlash. Have you seen Leo's episode about it?

[Sukhpaal]

@nistake possibly, I feel the dark side of meditation video applies moreso. If I keep doing Kriya Yoga I feel almost sure that I will harm myself. Maybe as an ego I am way too immature at the moment to take on Kriya Yoga

[Salvijus]

Ego backlash can't come if you're working with energy.

It comes when you push your mind too far. That happens mostly for gnana yogis only. Those who practice some form of self-enquiry for example.

If you feel something going wrong it will most likely be because improper kriya practices that cause disturbence in your system unknowingly.

That's the thing about kriya yoga. It's something that you have no clue about what you're doing. You just have to trust that the person you're learning kriya yoga from is relaible and knows human mechanics inside out, that's it. 

It's basicly putting all your life and spiritual possibilities to another person's hands. It's better to chose wisely

 

Edited February 18, 2019 by Salvijus

[Sukhpaal]

@Salvijus Well whatever it is, it is driving me crazy literally. I’m scared I’m gonna be like this forever

[Salvijus]

@Sukhpaal watch the video. You will like it.

 

Edited February 18, 2019 by Salvijus

[cetus]

1 hour ago, Sukhpaal said:

@Salvijus Well whatever it is, it is driving me crazy literally. I’m scared I’m gonna be like this forever

@Sukhpaal Could it be that your self identity is beginning to dissolve and so it is over compensating to validate it's existance? Observe and contemplate that to see if it's true.

[Dodo]

1 hour ago, Sukhpaal said:

@Salvijus Well whatever it is, it is driving me crazy literally. I’m scared I’m gonna be like this forever

Sounds like a severe case of pain body.  Try to observe and yet stay detached from these and any thoughts really.

Whatever will be will be. Just breathe amd sometimes is best to simply focus on your breathing and putting attention in self inquiry - placing attention on the deepest you  you can find for long periods of time. 

 

Kriya yoga has never been something I found attractive, because I like simplicity, simple things. Self inquiry is the way. 

 

 

[Nahm]

@Sukhpaal

If everyone could get to the bottom of these two, there’s a very deep peace...

What are you so afraid of?

Why do you ‘go to’ the reaction of harming yourself? Why is it you ‘go against yourself’?  

[korbes]

You're not going to be like this forever mate.

It is super super crucial to have faith, and believe in the process.

What you're experiencing is actually a sign of healthy progress, altho it feels like you might go insane or are dying.

Although, I can't know for sure, so take my words with a grain of salt!

But, do you own the book "The Secret Power of Kriya Yoga"?..

I don't have it at hand right here, but in some of the first exercises, the author describes some grounding techniques if it gets too much, you've probably chosen som Kriya Yoga exercises you weren't really ready for, and maybe progressed a bit too fast.

I suggest you get your hands on that book immediately, or I can find the grounding techniques for you if you wish, just drop me a PM, i'm checking here everyday.

Wish you all the best mate, just remember to not make it worse than it actually is.

Leo has warned about these signs of getting psychotic in several of his videos, where he claims this is a sign of progress.

Can't remember the exact video name tho.

Btw, I would love and I guess the rest of the forum would love if you shared what techniques you have been using and for how long, what your Kriya routine was, is super interesting, to see if others who have done the same exercises have been getting through the same state as you, although everybody is of course different.

Edited February 18, 2019 by korbes
wo0rdz5

[korbes]

47 minutes ago, Dodo said:

Sounds like a severe case of pain body.  Try to observe and yet stay detached from these and any thoughts really.

Whatever will be will be. Just breathe amd sometimes is best to simply focus on your breathing and putting attention in self inquiry - placing attention on the deepest you  you can find for long periods of time. 

 

Kriya yoga has never been something I found attractive, because I like simplicity, simple things. Self inquiry is the way. 

 

 

Why only rely on Self-Inquiry?

Why not add in some more techniques, see what works and boost your path?

[OmniYoga]

@nistake

6 hours ago, nistake said:

That sounds really serious. Are you sure that Kriya triggered these kind of emotions in you?

nah - that's not rather done by Kriya,
rather ego
I don't practice yoga yet - and I had suicidal thoughts often,
"Everything feels like it has no meaning and therefor I feel like its just never ending suffering"
looks like depression for me, maybe yoga intensify it to confront it and let go of that illusion
anyway I often feel like my life should be different than it really is, thefore I feel like a loser

Edited February 18, 2019 by OmniYoga

[Dodo]

3 hours ago, korbes said:

Why only rely on Self-Inquiry?

Why not add in some more techniques, see what works and boost your path?

because if you hit 10000 times in the same spot, you will have better results than if you hit 10000 spots one time each.