Night out report

[Brenzo2]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Classic newbie mistake.

Your own mind will trick you like that and get you to believe that having fun with your friend is accomplishing something. It isn't. Fun is fun. But it's not enough to get you the skill set you want.

You must force yourself to approach 10-20 sets each night. No excuses. It's best to start approaching immediately upon walking into the club. The first girl you see, you approach.

Which is why when you get a bit more experience and comfort, you should hit the clubs solo. Solo you can really do some damage in the club. Hanging to your friends too tightly will not allow you to get laid. You must be ready to break off from your friend to approach girls, and bounce them to new locations. It is not enough to just approach a girl and stand with her in the same spot the entire night. Once she's attracted to you, you've got to bounce her as much as possible around the place and then outside the place to other places and ultimately to your apartment. Pickup does not work without leading and bouncing.

Solo is highly efficient. But it's emotionally hard, because when you're out of set you feel very alone.

Leo most of the tips for building rapport seem to be oriented toward those without a significant other (which I fully understand), are there any fundamental tips for building rapport with females whilst in a relationship without overstepping boundaries? Or does my question already assume something wrongly? 

I've had successful rapports and have learned and am still learning from past and current experiences. However I always encounter 'blocks' so to say, such as judging myself as being too flirty and this disrupts my flow. 

I am just wondering if there are ways to build genuine rapport without the sexual energy I guess. 

Any help would be appreciated

Edited February 20, 2019 by Brenzo2

[Joel3102]

@Leo Gura from your experience do you think it really is possible for a fairly normal dude to get really fucking good at this?

sometimes I wonder if there’s a limit given your innate personality traits (introverted etc)

[Leo Gura]

The upside of rolling solo is that you grow very fast, as long as you're able to do approaches. If you're going out solo and you're so scared that you don't even approach, then you're not ready for that yet. You need a wingman/friend.

@Brenzo2 You mean you're in a relationship but you want to build your pickup skills at the same time? That's hard. In practice, once you get in a comfortable relationship your pickup skills will suffer. There's a trade-off.

@Joel3102 Yes, it certainly is, but it's going to take much more work than you imagine at the outset. But the upside is that it will also be much more rewarding (in terms of growth) than you imagine. To really get good at pickup you need to hit it hardcore for a couple of years, approaching 5000+ people. You need to take it very seriously. A half-assed attitude will not work here. You basically need to rewire and retrain much of your mind. Attraction is extremely counter-intuitive. It will shock you. You'll be in for some rude awakening. It will be emotionally difficult. But it will grow you like crazy. If you do it, don't do it for the sex, do it for the stronger man it makes you. It can also be very fun and exciting compared to sitting at home and playing Fortnite. Doing pickup hardcore makes you feel ALIVE! It makes you feel like a hero on his journey towards manhood.

I highly recommend handling this part of your life. Just don't be a douche, don't hurt women, and don't develop an ideology or identity around it.

If you want to get serious about learning this skill set, you must bite the bullet and move to a large city with great nightlife and lots of hot girls. LA, NYC, Chicago, Miami, Austin, Vegas, London, etc. It's very worth it. Don't be trying to learn pickup in some redneck part of the world. You need volume to practice on. If you're not willing to relocate, you're not very serious about it.

But at the same time, don't make excuses if you can't relocate immediately. Begin wherever you're at and make plan to upgrade your situation.

Pickup is not just about attracting girls. Pickup is about upgrading your entire lifestyle. It's about better nutrition, better fitness, better apartment, better decor, better cloths, better haircut, better friends, better car, better everything. Transform yourself into an attractive fucking man with an awesome life such that a woman would be itching to be around you. Shed your old childish ways. Become awesome. When you become a truly awesome, valuable man, guys and girls will flock to be around you. This is not some gimmick. You are actually becoming awesome. It's a total makeover.

But also don't get lost in it. Return to spirituality once you've completed that phase of your life.

P.S. There are always limits to everything a human does. Don't let that stop you from being awesome. You don't need to sleep with 100 girls. You don't need to become the Michael Jordan of pickup. You just need to become decent and score a few girlfriends. Which basically any guy can do.

[Dorotheus]

I am studying the pickup material, and stumbled on this:

https://goo.gl/images/MMtmHt

This is just toxic to be honest.

[Dorotheus]

This doesnt mean i am going to stop approaching btw.

[Elia]

@Leo Gura do you think women can be proactive in pickup as well? And in what way as opposed to men? 

[Dorotheus]

Going out tonight, rapport coming in 4 hours or so. I will go solo. My objective: 

- approach at least 10 girls;

- when there is attraction, move her arround;

- have at least 1 number close;

- no alcohol;

- no drugs.

Allright then, LETS DO THIS.

 

[Leo Gura]

On 2/21/2019 at 8:48 AM, Dorotheus said:

I am studying the pickup material, and stumbled on this:

https://goo.gl/images/MMtmHt

This is just toxic to be honest.

I don't know where you found that nonsense. That is not what I consider proper pickup. Why are you even looking at that when there is so much good material out there?

You don't have to be an abusive juvenile jerk to attract women.

On 2/21/2019 at 3:33 PM, Elia said:

@Leo Gura do you think women can be proactive in pickup as well? And in what way as opposed to men? 

Pickup theory does not apply to women trying to find men. Women need a whole different set of advice and techniques. You can find tons of material specifically tailored to women. Dating advice for women. It is not going to involve cold approaching men on the street asking for phone numbers.

[JohnnyBravo]

@Elia

You can learn from Hailey Quinn.

All her past 3 relationships were initiated by her, in her words.

She is of the opinion that the narrative that only men are allowed to approach is harmful in todays age where customs and traditions are pretty much all over the place.

[Dorotheus]

This was a great night. Just awesome. I still suck, but it is actually getting better. There where no blowouts. Most girls like it when i approach and it boosts my confidence. The conversations which i can remember and where cold opproach:

- The first approach i did was bad and deserved a blowout, but the girls liked what i was doing. After 5-10 minutes of talking i said goodbye;

- the second approach i did was with a girl i really liked, the energy that came from her was AMAZING. There was instant attraction between us and wanted her to move with me. Unfortunetelly a guy came and stopped her;

- approached another girl but a guy after seeing what was happening, grapped the girl;

- approached a girl who was verry beautifull, she ignored me. Stayed 5 minutes in the set talking just random nonsense untill a girlfriend told me to fuck off. What was funny was that she laughed a lot about my persistence;

- approached a verry kind ginger and talked to her for 10 minutes. Liked her, but she had a boyfriend she told me;

- the following approach was the one which i enjoyed most. She was 25 and so to old for me, i taught?.. When i told her that i went out alone to approach strangers, she was dumpstruck. It was clear that this was a verry intelligent women and we had a conversation with each other for about 20 minutes. I liked her so much, and taught.... fuck it. Its just a number. Asked if she wanted to exchange phonennumbers but she had a boyfriend.

- approached a girl which i liked verry much. Talked to her a bit, but there was no attraction. What i can remember is that she said that she just came back from Afrika or something like this with the girls she was with. 

This is what i can remember from my night, some conversation are not worth mentioning. Tommorow i will go out again to practise. 

Not all my objectives are met, but at least it was better than tuesday?.

[Dorotheus]

@Leo GuraAs far as a pickup teacher i like owen cook btw. Learned already so much from him in 7 days. When you know a better teacher, please share. 

[F A B]

On 17/2/2019 at 1:46 PM, Dorotheus said:

 I also want to show the chumbs on this forum that it is possible to become better at this so they can actually stop victim topics.

I love you ❤

Keep working. I'm also willing to take massive action.

[Dorotheus]

Well, today was just verry bad. Went out with a nerd friend of me because he also wants to learn how to approach women. After 2 approaches he freaked out and we had to go home. Im all alone in this from this point on.

[universe]

2 hours ago, Dorotheus said:

Well, today was just verry bad. Went out with a nerd friend of me because he also wants to learn how to approach women. After 2 approaches he freaked out and we had to go home. Im all alone in this from this point on.

Haha, you friend sounds like a funny guy. Why did he freak out? Maybe you guys can work it out. Not saying you cant get out alone and be perfectly fine.

Anyways good luck next time!

[Dorotheus]

He didnt like it to be sober in a club and approach women, to difficult for him just now. 

[Cocolove]

On 2/21/2019 at 10:48 AM, Dorotheus said:

I am studying the pickup material, and stumbled on this:

https://goo.gl/images/MMtmHt

This is just toxic to be honest.

this was a joke that RSD Julian posted on his twitter, which caused a huge media scandal. This is the chart for emotional abuse they teach you in sex ed in highschool, trust me, i learned it last year.

[Dorotheus]

Going out tonight, my objectives:

- approach at least 10 girls;

- no alcohol;

- have a number close;

- move the girl arround when she is attracted.

There will be a report in 10 hours or so.

[Dorotheus]

This was a great solo night and i am getting some results. I dont remember everything, but it went somewhat like this:

- the first 3-4 approaches where all short interactions but there was no attraction;

- in the line-up before the bar i wanted to go in, a guy was making fun of me because i was alone. Said to him that he needed to stop, which he immediatelly did. After going into the bar did the first approach. It was a sollid conversation, but no attraction;

- approached a girl who was in a 2 set, it went pretty good and there was attraction. I told them i went out solo and they laughed a lot about it. We went outside because the girl wanted to smoke a sigaret. After that was done i took them to my favorite bar and wanted to escalate on them. Unfortunetelly there was a fight and the girls walked away from me because they were afraid. We walked into a new bar and they both went to the toilet. After that, i didnt saw them anymore. I dont know if they wanted to get rid of me or something like that but i just went on approaching in the bar;

- approached another girl who ignored me in the bar with the girls on the toilet. After waiting for 5 minutes in front of the toilet i decided to leave and hit on other girls;  

- talked with a girl but she wasnt into it, so went on;

- talked with a girl i knew a little bit, but not very good. We had a good conversation and she liked what i was doing. Took her by the hand, and we went outside. There was a girl with her and the logistics were bad so i went for the number, which i now have. MY FIRST COLD APPROACH NUMBER, FINALY. 

- approached a two set in a new bar, but it was immediatelly clear for me that they were making fun of me. Because i was sober, i saw that 2 meters from me two guys were observing what was going on and making loser hand jesters to the girls about me. After i saw that i stoped talking and i didnt approach for 5 minutes or so. 

- talked to the next girl, but she emediatelly stoped the conversation and joined her male friends;

This is what i can remember from my night and the first results are coming in. The conversations i now have with girls in the bar are a lot more fun than before and i do have more confidence arround them.

Lessons:

- be more physical in the beginning;

- dont be afraid to lead the girl when there is attraction. In my experience, they always follow you when there is attraction;

- dont let other people destroy the fun that you are having, be more indifferent.

This was my night?, i hope you guys enjoy the report.

 

[universe]

Good stuff! Keep on going mate, I think your doing great! 

18 hours ago, Dorotheus said:

- talked with a girl i knew a little bit, but not very good. We had a good conversation and she liked what i was doing.

What do you mean she liked what you were doing?

 

18 hours ago, Dorotheus said:

- be more physical in the beginning;

- dont be afraid to lead the girl when there is attraction. In my experience, they always follow you when there is attraction;

Yes this! Always initiate! You always need to lead, especially in the beginning. Most girls are very reactive. I know it can be a bit bothering, on the plus side, you can do whatever you want. And when you build up your intuition it gets easier and easier.

[Dorotheus]

@universe i touched her quite a lot.

That women follow you quite fast i can only imagine what kind of problems come from that. But hey, what do you wanna do about it. The only thing i can do is be as responsible as possible.