How to rid myself of controlling/owning my spouse?

[Liger]

I grew up in an Arab community in which over-protectiveness was looked proudly upon, especially by parents. Even among my friends when we were high school students I would often hear "You're going to let her wear that?" or I would have one of my friends say to me "dude look what your girlfriend posted on instagram" as if I am supposed to get upset, and in many cases them telling me this actually caused me to blindly get upset and controlling with my spouse. I have been pretty distant from that culture and mindset for about 3 years now and I have seen a lot of progression. However, I know for a fact this false sense of "owning" the person I am with is not completely gone and it is still slightly controlling my relationships. It is not fair for any person that I am with to have to deal with this because of my past and the environment I was raised in. Has anyone experienced anything like this before, and what practical steps did you take to get out of that mindset.

[Cocolove]

explain what you just explained to us to them. maybe get a book on it? 

[Salvijus]

It's good that you're aware of it. Awareness alone is curative

But if you want to solve this faster. Start worshipping her. In your mind or in real life just bow down to her with a certain sweetness of emotion.

You can do this everyday. 

Edited February 16, 2019 by Salvijus

[Shadowraix]

Don't act on the thoughts just observe them. Thoughts are an experience you don't have to blindly follow just like you don't react to every sensation you feel or smell you smell. 

[Leo Gura]

@Liger How can you control her when you are not even in control of yourself?

Pay very close attention to just what control is and how little of it you have. This doesn't just apply to people but all of life.

This question of control is a very deep existential one. Notice how the ego keeps trying to control life but keeps failing and getting upset at itself for not having the control it wants.

What is in control of you? Are you in control of yourself? Then why do you keep failing to control yourself? What is control? Why do you want control?

Patiently contemplate all that.

[Truth Addict]