[Opinion] Masturbation shouldn't be taught to kids

[Eric Tarpall]

Eight year old kids are encouraged to "explore their own bodies" by sex education teachers. I think this is wrong. Because masturbation leads to anti social behavior. They should explore the bodies of the opposite sex. Not their own bodies. I started masturbating when I was twelve because I was taught that it's normal. It caused me to be unmotivated to talk to girls.

Edited February 11, 2019 by Eric Tarpall

[F A B]

They will find out masturbation, in some way.

I think is not about teaching or not teaching it, but is about how it is taught.

Edited February 11, 2019 by F A B

[Rilles]

I wasnt taught, infinite intelligence guided me towards touching my wiener.

[YaNanNallari]

9 hours ago, Rilles said:

I wasnt taught, infinite intelligence guided me towards touching my wiener.

I think it's fine. It can be healthy to explore who we are. At the same time, if there are issues with not being interested in others, I don't think it has to do much with being comfortable with yourself, but with other things

[Emerald]

Eight year old kids in America are not even taught sex ed.

And even teenagers in my neck of the woods are taught with abstinence-only education with no reference to masturbation. The slogan that they drove into us was that "It's okay to have feelings and attitudes about sex, but it's not okay to have sex." Then, at age 22, I was considered a bit of a late bloomer when I had my first child. 

And many schools don't offer sex-ed at all. 

Yet... surprise surprise... everyone discovered that secret one way or another... usually through intuition or occasionally sexual references in teen movies. Probably many learn it through exposure to porn.

So, to frame it as "We have to stop teaching masturbation in schools." is just silly. People are going to find out either way.

[zambize]

What do you want them to teach the kids if not "masturbation is normal"?    Many kids masturbate without associating it with sex even, it's probably closer to an itch than anything sexual.  I'm also curious how you made that the conclusion that it was masturbation out of all the factors in your life that led to your anti-social behavior, could've just happened around the same time or been caused by the same thing

[Eric Tarpall]

44 minutes ago, zambize said:

I'm also curious how you made that the conclusion that it was masturbation out of all the factors in your life that led to your anti-social behavior

When you masturbate your horniness doesn't build up like it should. And because you're not mega horny you won't have motivation to talk to girls. That's what happened to me.

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

We have to stop teaching masturbation in schools." is just silly. People are going to find out either way.

Way less people would masturbate (and suffer the consequences) if it wasn't taught in schools. Masturbation seems innocent but it makes boys and girls feel like they don't need each other. This prevents healthy relationships and families from forming. 

Edited February 12, 2019 by Eric Tarpall

[Shadowraix]

51 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Way less people would masturbate (and suffer the consequences) if it wasn't taught in schools. Masturbation seems innocent but it makes boys and girls feel like they don't need each other. This prevents healthy relationships and families from forming. 

No they just would do it and not understand what they are doing until later in life. My school system didn't have sex ed until freshman year. I discovered touching my dick feels good on my own having no idea what it was pretty early. And I can at least say for me being horny was something I had to manage simply because I did not want to mix my intention of building relationships with others with my desire to fuck. Horniness makes me want to think in an incredibly shallow manner.

51 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

When you masturbate your horniness doesn't build up like it should. And because you're not mega horny you won't have motivation to talk to girls. That's what happened to me.

Have you had sex before? Leaps and bounds different. And wanting to know what sex is like is more than enough reason to talk to girls for someone going through puberty. 

 

What you describe is a result of chronic masturbation. You're a bad apple. Look at the good apples before you jump to conclusions. Can you imagine if society was formed based on the direct experiences of one person?

Sexual frustration is not something you'd want either. 

Edited February 12, 2019 by Shadowraix

[Eric Tarpall]

18 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

No they just would do it and not understand what they are doing until later in life.

They can but it's less likely. They are more likely to do it when school encourages it.

19 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

wanting to know what sex is like is more than enough reason to talk to girls for someone going through puberty.

Nah ah. If you have a never ending honey jar in your pocket you're not going to climb a tree and put your hand in a bee hive. 

21 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

What you describe is a result of chronic masturbation.

No even a little bit of masturbation is bad for you. Would you give a tiny amount of cocaine to a child and trust him to not use more?

[Shadowraix]

1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Nah ah. If you have a never ending honey jar in your pocket you're not going to climb a tree and put your hand in a bee hive. 

 

1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

No even a little bit of masturbation is bad for you. Would you give a tiny amount of cocaine to a child and trust him to not use more?

Both of these are really bad analogies. 

The first one doesn't acknowledge the huge pleasure gap between masturbation and sex. And that Masturbating if anything would give incentive you to go out and fuck due to that. and that you don't need to be horny to want to go out and socialize. Again, basing it off your direct experience only will give you a skewed perspective. You should especially know this with current drug controversy. A person who can't moderate drug use does not accurately represent those who can. 

The 2nd one doesn't acknowledge that cocaine gives a dopamine rush 2.5x greater than sex. Switch cocaine to caffeine and everybody is down with it.

You have a bad experience with masturbation, but explain those such as me who never felt like how you were describing despite almost daily masturbation. Horniness only makes me want to talk to women with the intent to fuck and then when I do fuck them I don't want anything to do with them after.  I would actually masturbate before going out and socializing as an aid to keep my intents out of the gutter. Or rather just make it easier to manage.

Are you sure you aren't using masturbation as a scapegoat for your own dysfunctional mind?

Edited February 12, 2019 by Shadowraix

[Odysseus]

Masturbation isn't taught to kids. Using contraceptives is. Sexual repression like you advocate would be a huge step back in human history. Stop blaming others and take responsibility for yourself. If jerking of harms you stop it. You're assumptions aren't universal. Goddammit.

[Eric Tarpall]

3 hours ago, Shadowraix said:

you don't need to be horny to want to go out and socialize.

You do actually. Without horniness you will lay in bed all day. The only reason you go to your job, socialize, shower etc is because you want to reproduce. The more you want to reproduce the more you will do those things. 

3 hours ago, Shadowraix said:

The 2nd one doesn't acknowledge that cocaine gives a dopamine rush 2.5x greater than sex.

I've read that orgasm is more addicting than cocaine but I don't know if that's true. 

3 hours ago, Odysseus said:

Masturbation isn't taught to kids.

Not yet but they are planning to do that. They say it's good for them because it helps them with boundaries. But that's dumb logic. 

3 hours ago, Odysseus said:

Sexual repression like you advocate would be a huge step back in human history.

Masturbation is not sex. Masturbation represses sexuality more than anything. Because of the reasons I mentioned. And when a society changes over time that doesn't mean that those changes are good.

And I said that they should be encouraged to explore the bodies of the opposite sex. Instead of their own bodies. That's not repression.

Edited February 12, 2019 by Eric Tarpall
Addition

[zambize]

8 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

When you masturbate your horniness doesn't build up like it should. And because you're not mega horny you won't have motivation to talk to girls. That's what happened to me.

Way less people would masturbate (and suffer the consequences) if it wasn't taught in schools. Masturbation seems innocent but it makes boys and girls feel like they don't need each other. This prevents healthy relationships and families from forming. 

I mean I definitely agree if I didn't have a sex drive I'd probably not talk to girls as much, but there are other motivations for wanting to talk to a girl other than wanting them sexually.  Plus like fuck the horniness 80% of the time, at least you don't have to hide your boners.  There is a a bright side

[Emerald]

8 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

Way less people would masturbate (and suffer the consequences) if it wasn't taught in schools. Masturbation seems innocent but it makes boys and girls feel like they don't need each other. This prevents healthy relationships and families from forming. 

Wrong. Number one, most schools don't teach masturbation. Number two, I discovered masturbation on my own, and so did all my friends. It's pretty obvious. And even if it weren't obvious, there would be plenty of things in pop culture that would clue them into it.

Also, masturbation doesn't properly stand in for a partner because being with a sexual partner isn't even mostly about orgasm. Sex has a lot more to do with being close to another human being, feeling that person's body up against your own, intimacy, kissing, etc. than it has to do purely with orgasm. Sex that's just about an orgasm is bad sex.

Now, masturbation is a lot more effective for an orgasm (for women). Climax can come in minutes, when it may never come with a partner. But I've never known a single woman that preferred masturbation to being with a partner despite the orgasm gap between the two. And this is because there's a lot more to sex than orgasm. Orgasm pales in comparison to erotic emotion like love, exhilaration, desire, surrender, and joy. And these cannot be achieved through masturbation. 

So, if you've stayed away from women, it is only because of your own fear. Don't blame masturbation. Masturbation is quite natural and will happen regardless of whether or not it's taught in schools. Just go out there and meet some women. 

[Eric Tarpall]

53 minutes ago, Emerald said:

I discovered masturbation on my own, and so did all my friends. It's pretty obvious. And even if it weren't obvious, there would be plenty of things in pop culture that would clue them into it.

I discovered it on my own too. I'm not worried about kids discovering it. I'm worried about them being encouraged to do it. Why would someone feel the need to encourage kids to touch themselves? They can make that decision for themselves. And I notice that pop culture shames those who don't masturbate. That's a red flag. When you get shamed to do something that thing is usually bad for you.

54 minutes ago, Emerald said:

Orgasm pales in comparison to erotic emotion like love, exhilaration, desire, surrender, and joy.

That's true I guess but if you've never tasted those emotions you won't be motivated to go after them.

55 minutes ago, Emerald said:

if you've stayed away from women, it is only because of your own fear. Don't blame masturbation.

I blame masturbation for good reasons. It lowers testosterone which increases fear. And when you masturbate you're lying to yourself. You're fantasizing about a person. Convincing yourself that you're having sex with that person while you're not. This creates a subconscious belief that you can't have that person. Because if you can have her/him then you would go after it instead of fantasizing about it.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

I discovered it on my own too. I'm not worried about kids discovering it. I'm worried about them being encouraged to do it. Why would someone feel the need to encourage kids to touch themselves? They can make that decision for themselves. And I notice that pop culture shames those who don't masturbate. That's a red flag. When you get shamed to do something that thing is usually bad for you.

Wrong again. Number one, schools don't encourage kids to touch themselves. If there is sex positive education, then they may tell them it's an option. But there is no encouragement. Also, VERY few schools have sex positive education in the first place. So, if you're linking the issue of masturbation addiction to the 5% of schools with sex ed that are also sex positive, then you need to seriously reconsider your logic.

Number two, pop culture shames those who DO masturbate. There's a TON of comedy all based around jokes about guys who masturbate where the guy is the butt of the joke. It's the same situation with comedically unattractive women, where there will be jokes about them masturbating. Attractive women, however, don't have any mention of masturbation. It just gets left out, perhaps as an assumption that they are to pure for masturbation.

Also, masturbation by itself is not bad for you. It's only an issue if it becomes an addiction and a barrier to intimacy.

1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

That's true I guess but if you've never tasted those emotions you won't be motivated to go after them.

Wrong again. These feelings will naturally come up if a person is in touch with their emotions and instincts. If a person doesn't feel this drive, it just means that they probably have an issue with emotional repression. This is also why many men get stuck focusing only on orgasms and dick-focus because men are discouraged from feeling emotions. So, focusing single-pointedly toward the sensations that the penis feels during sex is a way to disconnect and push away any emotions for fear of seeming feminine. And this cuts them off from more gratifying feelings like love, passion, intimacy, joy, openness, and the like. 

So, this is why men who get stuck on porn and masturbation never go out to have sex with an actual woman. They don't actually realize that sex with a woman has a lot more to offer them than an orgasm does. There is nothing more of value in sex that registers to the emotionally repressed.

The ability to feel emotions also a good indicator of how mature a man is. If you develop that ability to be aware of your emotions and responsive yet equanimous toward them, you'll also be a cut above 85% of men. Women crave for a man who can meet them where they are. So, this will probably be a good focus for you as this seems like the core of your issue.

1 hour ago, Eric Tarpall said:

I blame masturbation for good reasons. It lowers testosterone which increases fear. And when you masturbate you're lying to yourself. You're fantasizing about a person. Convincing yourself that you're having sex with that person while you're not. This creates a subconscious belief that you can't have that person. Because if you can have her/him then you would go after it instead of fantasizing about it.

Wrong. Masturbation doesn't lower testosterone at all. Sexual exhaustion can effect the androgen receptors which makes the body temporary not able to know what to do with the testosterone it has. But the testosterone is still there and doesn't diminish at all. 

Also, there is no link between masturbating to a person increasing the belief that you can't have them. This is just another excuse you're using to stay in your comfort zone.

You can blame masturbation all you want for your fears of women. But demonizing masturbation is never going to fix any of your issues. You need to just go out there and meet women. Go out and socialize in general, and meeting women will come as a natural by-product of that. 

[Eric Tarpall]

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

pop culture shames those who DO masturbate. There's a TON of comedy all based around jokes about guys who masturbate where the guy is the butt of the joke. It's the same situation with comedically unattractive women, where there will be jokes about them masturbating.

Maybe shaming is not the right word. But you do get lectured about masturbating being good for you when you say that you don't do it. My psychologist tried to do that to me when I was fourteen. It's suspicious to me that people want me to masturbate. Probably because it's bad for me.

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

This is also why many men get stuck focusing only on orgasms and dick-focus because men are discouraged from feeling emotions.

That's because girls are discouraged from being loving and feminine. This causes males to be deprived of love and it causes them to become cold and distant. I used to want love but girls never gave it to me so I slowly lose interest in love.

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

The ability to feel emotions also a good indicator of how mature a man is.

Define mature. I think what most people mean by mature is ''behave how I want you to behave'' Feeling positive emotions is good but you don't want to open yourself up to negative ones.

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Masturbation doesn't lower testosterone at all. Sexual exhaustion can effect the androgen receptors which makes the body temporary not able to know what to do with the testosterone it has. But the testosterone is still there and doesn't diminish at all.

You and I can't know how it affects testosterone unless you're blindly trusting studies. So I admit that I made a foolish claim. But I have noticed that I'm less dominant after I masturbate. I trust my body more than studies.

1 hour ago, Emerald said:

Demonizing masturbation is never going to fix any of your issues.

Only one way to find out. I'm going to stop doing it and see what happens.

[zambize]

2 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

 It's suspicious to me that people want me to masturbate. Probably because it's bad for me.

 

Do you think people typically want bad things for you?  Has that really been the case for you in your life?

[Eric Tarpall]

7 minutes ago, zambize said:

Do you think people typically want bad things for you?

People want what's good for themselves. And sometimes that involves hurting others. I've observed this within myself too. Human nature is not as good and pure as you would like to believe.

[zambize]

Just now, Eric Tarpall said:

People want what's good for themselves. And sometimes that involves hurting others. I've observed this within myself too. Human nature is not as good and pure as you would like to believe.

Yeah but why do they want you to masturbate haha?  I personally masturbate when I'm tired and can't get to sleep, or just cause from time to time, I don't see why people care if each other do or  don't.  Like I agree that people will trample you for their own needs (quite literally),  I just don't see how anyone's own needs could possibly rely on you masturbating or not