I struggle with day game

[Marinus]

So i went out on the street and I approached girls. I'm scared of having a conversation. 

I approached 31 girls in totaal by saying "hello I just want to say that I think you're really attractive". Afterwards I have trouble with conversation, because my vibe is weird and mechanical when I try to be attractive. I only had 4 full conversations. 

Now I have more to approach, because I want to do a full conversation. How do I get past this fear? 

[7thLetter]

by doing more approaches

[MM1988]

Stop doing this shit. There are acceptable places to approach like nightclubs or bars. Do you any normal dude who isnt into PUA or Internet Forums and does that shit? You will get labeled weird right from the start.

[Marinus]

@7thLetter haha okay that's spot on  maybe I try to walk around the problem. 

 

@MM1988 maybe I'll do night game sometime. People always thought and think I'm weird so nothing really changes. I also like to be weird, it means that I have to courage to be ammunition and act different. If I do what everyone does then I'll die regreting my life. 

I don't think I understand your question. I do know someone who does Daygame yes. 

I'm a loner so it also helps me to get out of my student room. 

What are the benefits from night game compared with Daygame? 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Marinus  Keep practicing my dude. You're becoming self aware and this is all part of the growth process. 

[Spiral]

I don’t do day game but I would skip the mandatory compliment. 

Besides “attractive” is too vague and isn’t impactful. If you have to give compliments and I would use them sparingly or not at all.  Preferably use something like “pretty” or a personal compliment is better. Bonus points if it’s something she cares about that perhaps she hasn’t been complimented on before.

[Marinus]

@Spiral I say that, because I want to be clear of my intent and I want to be honest in my intentions. I don't care about clothes so I would lie. Saying she is pretty I also did. 

I got some great reactions. One girl was so happy that she blushed . Most of the time it doesn't work, but that would be true for every kind of approach I think. 

It seems shallow, but you need something to make a connection. The thing that I really appreciate about people you can only know that if you talked enough with someone. 

[7thLetter]

@Marinus Yeah I sort of agree with @MM1988.

But not the fact that its “weird” but you just have a better chance of success doing nightgame rather than daygame.

I’ve always thought of the analogy that daygame is like advertising your product/service to random people like a TV commercial. Whereas nightgame is like advertising to people in a strategic way where they are actually searching for your product on the internet through specific keywords.

So just to explain a little further, girls walking around on the streets aren’t outside looking for a guy to randomly approach them and take them out. There’s just there to shop or do whatever. But with nightgame, they’re actually there to have fun and potentially meet someone. Although I’m not saying its impossible to meet someone during daygame, just saying there’s a lower chance of success.

Hope that makes sense

[Marinus]

@7thLetter Maybe your right, but I'm very introverted and I think that would make it difficult for me to do night game. I also don't live very close to the clubs and it will kill my morning routine. Still I think I want to try it sometime. Day Game is harder I think, but that creates more growth. I think the best thing to do is combine it.

Btw, I think your analogy is funny and I agree.

[Marinus]

@Sahil Pandit Thx man. It is painful. I definitely am more aware of my selfdeceptions and the way I manipulate myself in keeping my ego comfortable. 

 

@MM1988 I also want to say that 1/5 girls I compliment feel so great! They laugh and are genuinely thankful. The feeling that gives is like a dopine rush for a minute and pride. 

[7thLetter]

@Marinus Being introverted is only a limitation if you let it be one.

I’m an INTP, super introverted, quiet loner my whole entire past life and I’ve done a ton of approaches in clubs and bars back in the day. I’ve always loved clubs and parties. A majority of the RSD instructors are introverts, Kong from SimplePickup is an introvert. Leo used to do pickup, he’s an introvert. And I’ve met a ton of other PUA’s who are introverts during my journey with game.

If you can do a daygame approach, then you can do a nightgame approach.

And yeah you’re right, daygame is good for the growth I must say. But maybe just don’t make it your main focus, nightgame is where its at. But it’s really up to you and your situation.

[Leo Gura]

@Marinus That's great action-taking. 31 daytime approaches is a lot.

There are many stages to a successful pickup that must be mastered: the open, body language, the smile, eye contact, keeping conversations going, flirtation, kino/touching, authenticity, sexual tension, hitting a hook point, screening for boyfriend, getting the close, leading and pulling for instant date, number closing, etc.

It's quite hard to learn all those on your own. It helps to go with a wing-man who already has experience with this and can help you evaluate your interactions. Try to find some wings in your city.

A successful daytime approach requires a lot more than just opening the girl and saying Hi. You must learn to make the conversation fun, flirty, and interesting. And you must learn how to close in order to get any results. All daytime approaches must end with you asking the girl for an insta-date coffee.

Yes, you will be very awkward and mechanical at first. But you can quickly improve. Your goal should be to approach a girl in the same way you might approach and talk to your own girlfriend. It has to be very natural, like it's no big deal, like you've known her your own life. You must just assume this vibe and sense of friendship and familiarity right off the bat. It has to be super casual so the girl is not put on guard.

A great way to practice conversation skills and body language is by chatting with store clerks at the mall. Go find some girl clerks. They are bored most the day and will be happy to talk with you. Try to flirt with them a bit without outright hitting on them. Try to get them to open up about themselves. Try to charm them a bit. Tease them. Wink and smile at them. Tell them some stories about yourself, etc.

At this point your goal is not even to have sex but simply to become a more social, extroverted, talkative, charismatic person. You can even practice on guys and old ladies. Get good at small-talk and self-expression to strangers. Get good at building rapid social comfort, so people are comfortable around you. So they feel you as a fun friendly guy.

I love day game. The biggest problem with it is that it's not easy to find a lot of hot girls during the day unless you live near certain great locations. Cities like LA, London, and NYC are amazing for daygame, but most cities aren't.

The advantage of night is that you get a lot more girls to talk to. And there's possibilities for same night pulls.

Oh, it's also VERY IMPORTANT that when you approach a girl during the day you stop her and face up to her squarely, face to face. Do not be approaching girls from the back or the side. If she is walking, you must stop her cold by getting her attention. You must face her directly. You must have her full attention before you deliver your opener. Do not be whispering your opener to her side or back as she is walking. Run around her and stop her without scaring her. And you must always open with a smile. If there is a look of fear on your face, she will freak out. Practice that smile like your life depends on it.

[Freakrik]

6 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@Marinus That's great action-taking. 31 daytime approaches is a lot.

There are many stages to a successful pickup that must be mastered: the open, body language, the smile, eye contact, keeping conversations going, flirtation, kino/touching, authenticity, sexual tension, hitting a hook point, screening for boyfriend, getting the close, leading and pulling for instant date, number closing, etc.

It's quite hard to learn all those on your own. It helps to go with a wing-man who already has experience with this and can help you evaluate your interactions. Try to find some wings in your city.

A successful daytime approach requires a lot more than just opening the girl and saying Hi. You must learn to make the conversation fun, flirty, and interesting. And you must learn how to close in order to get any results. All daytime approaches must end with you asking the girl for an insta-date coffee.

Yes, you will be very awkward and mechanical at first. But you can quickly improve. Your goal should be to approach a girl in the same way you might approach and talk to your own girlfriend. It has to be very natural, like it's no big deal, like you've known her your own life. You must just assume this vibe and sense of friendship and familiarity right off the bat. It has to be super casual so the girl is not put on guard.

A great way to practice conversation skills and body language is by chatting with store clerks at the mall. Go find some girl clerks. They are bored most the day and will be happy to talk with you. Try to flirt with them a bit without outright hitting on them. Try to get them to open up about themselves. Try to charm them a bit. Tease them. Wink and smile at them. Tell them some stories about yourself, etc.

At this point your goal is not even to have sex but simply to become a more social, extroverted, talkative, charismatic person. You can even practice on guys and old ladies. Get good at small-talk and self-expression to strangers. Get good at building rapid social comfort, so people are comfortable around you. So they feel you as a fun friendly guy.

I love day game. The biggest problem with it is that it's not easy to find a lot of hot girls during the day unless you live near certain great locations. Cities like LA, London, and NYC are amazing for daygame, but most cities aren't.

The advantage of night is that you get a lot more girls to talk to. And there's possibilities for same night pulls.

Oh, it's also VERY IMPORTANT that when you approach a girl during the day you stop her and face up to her squarely, face to face. Do not be approaching girls from the back or the side. If she is walking, you must stop her cold by getting her attention. You must face her directly. You must have her full attention before you deliver your opener. Do not be whispering your opener to her side or back as she is walking. Run around her and stop her without scaring her. And you must always open with a smile. If there is a look of fear on your face, she will freak out. Practice that smile like your life depends on it.

@Leo Gura are you still daygaming? I thought you had grown out of pick up years ago

[Marinus]

@Leo Gura thx for the indept advice. 

It's funny because just now I closed a girl and got her number, my first number!  Just as you said talking to others helps. Before I approached her I had a deep conversation with a guy from Japan and this energized me so I felt so fulfilled, because that is my element. 

I had the vibe and approached the girl from the side, like a meter next to her. I made eye contact first and then I said hello. Open nody language and a big fat smile that was authentic. The conversation went less mechanical and it was in English. 

But yeah as you say becoming more social is at the moment more important to get my gears spinning. I also approached 4 girls at ones and asked them their highest value. It was funny to do. 

I also got a wing who I will meet for the second tine this Saturday. 

I'm by the way aligning my life with habits on general and I feel much better then ever. 

@see_on_see thanks for your support, I really appreciate you stepping up for me. 

[Guided]

31 approaches in a day? Holy moly my man that is TONS and I wish I made that many approaches in a month... 

But yeah it really is just about making yourself more comfortable around people and 'energizing' yourself with social momentum. Do this by talking to people and then talking some more. After that, it will feel like a muse is literally throwing words into your mouth. Approaching becomes easy after that. Not any less scarier, but easier. 

[Marinus]

@Guided not in a day, in like 2 weeks. 

Is it like cold showers? It sucks  but after 1 1/2 years I can flip my switch and just do it. Before I would procrastinate and come up with exuses. 

[Guided]

11 hours ago, Marinus said:

@Guided not in a day, in like 2 weeks. 

Is it like cold showers? It sucks  but after 1 1/2 years I can flip my switch and just do it. Before I would procrastinate and come up with exuses. 

Yes definitely, it becomes second nature to do it. I had a conversation with a woman who was working in sales and marketing for ages and she said that she can be social anytime she wants, simply because of the sheer amount of raw practice she had.

Edited February 14, 2019 by Guided

[Leo Gura]

17 hours ago, Freakrik said:

@Leo Gura are you still daygaming? I thought you had grown out of pick up years ago

I don't do it actively like I once did.

[Freakrik]

12 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

I don't do it actively like I once did.

How often do you do it btw? I thought when you see god everything else loses its value 

[PetarKa]

@Marinus I have 2 words of advice which I think will boost your journey. They are not specific "tricks", but rather general guidelines:

1. Apply the principle of deliberate practice: Always immerse yourself in situations which are just enough challenging. Focus on improving consistently and incrementally. If it's too much for you to start being physical with the girl, then that's not your next stepping stone. Though, if it's something you've already done hundreds of times and you can effortlessly do it (e.g. saying "Hi!") and you aren't doing anything more, then you ain't making progress.
2. Approach this whole process as understanding the realm of human social interaction: Don't treat girls like simple machines which do certain things when you push certain buttons. Human social (and sexual) interaction is a rich, dynamic, and complex process. What you will talk about and do will highly depend on the context (the place, the situation, the psychology of the girl, her clothes, etc.). Treat this like learning and mastering a whole field of life, just like you would when studying and mastering, for example, a certain sport. Also know that you are not starting from ground zero. Your whole life you've been interacting with people, even if to a lesser degree compared to others. You can use this past experience, if you haven't been already.

Being introverted-oriented myself, these principles have helped me a lot. Keep up the good work! I wish you development and progress.