Introduction

[Armand]

I'm simply trying to be a better myself spiritually as well as physically.

Hello I'm Armand which is why I have this long running joke of a name "Mandy". My friends really have stuck to it over the years. Wanting to reach a point where I can be happy with the person I decide to be, and then maybe try and build up from there. I honestly am a pessimist trying to convert my thoughts to a more positive place. I've attempted suicide before because I thought that my very soul was meant for this one person I was with. Only to find out she wasn't really what I think I needed at the time. I regret that sometimes I would pretend she were gone for good because she hindered me from making a lot of new friends. She always made my life harder on me by causing unnecessary drama as well as always thinking that I would want to cheat on her. She is a beautiful woman, but not worth chasing after. My parents are very strict Christians who preached some pretty warped opinions on sin. My father physically abused me until I was old enough to defend myself. It's not really something my pride wanted to admit on here, but anyway. A lot of my behaviors have become bad ones. Such as smoking and drinking then hooking up with people just because I'm bored with needs. I was with a girl not that long ago that was really sweet, and she might of been really good for me. Then I managed to mess it up by not being exclusive (which I had no idea she even wanted). I guess I'm a simple guy working a job that pays well, but it's not my dream to crunch numbers all day for the rest of my life. 

Needing this forum to help me stay on the right path instead of making things harder on myself which can lead to falling farther behind in life.

[Natasha]

@Holdup Look for a girl who shares your interest in personal growth/ self-actualization. She can be sweet and all that, but if she is not serious about that one aspect of life, eventually you two will find yourselves on the opposite ends of the spectrum. Which usually turns an otherwise ok relationship into a miserable one. Ask some of the coupled men on this forum with unconscious partners, they'll tell you.  

[T1r1on]

@Natasha Ha, that was my last relationship in a nutshell. It really does matter, and you can can't convince them to start. It's an intrinsic drive.