The paradox of suicide?

[clouffy]

I don't think any animals other than humans get "anxiety" about future events, nor do they suicide (do dogs kill themselves?)

So I'm really anxious and fearful and insecure, and it got so bad that there were recurring thoughts of suicide at the lowest times

But if ego is driving my huge status anxiety, and it made me want to kill myself, isn't this the complete opposite of what the ego wants us to do??

so, what is the source of suicide?

[ajasatya]

19 minutes ago, clouffy said:

what is the source of suicide?

huge attachments, poor perspectives and denial of growth.

[Jkris]

@clouffy Toxic shame,  lack of purpose,  lack of love and acceptance, loneliness,  failure career relationship, financial crisis, lack of confidence to face life,  depression. 

Anything could be a trigger. It depends on the life situation and varies. 

[pointessa]

@clouffy  Hopelessness, which could be result the of having expectations, attachments, attractions and aversions. Expecting that  one should be able to have control of outcomes. I speak from personal experience.

[clouffy]

what i mean is, if the ego wants you to survive, why would it drive to human suicide?

my guess is that the ego values identity more than it does the "survive", in some sense we have evolved to a point where our ego learns to value symbolic things (identity, status, relationship) more than it does physically

[clouffy]

@Mikael89 Thank you for sharing. Was it like recurrent thoughts of suicide in your case?

[Skanzi]

I understand the paradox. If the ego is based on survival, then how is wanting to commit suicide a form of survival?

I'm actually not entirely sure, but if I had to speculate it is that the ego-mind has a greater need for survival than the physical body. Hence it's why people are willing to die for certain values or ideologies. It also fits with the idea of reincarnation that we take many different bodies but the ego-mind persists throughout all of them.

The mind is a bit more complex than the more basic survival needs of the body. The ego-mind also wants to survive, but it is not always realistic about what true survival entails. People craving drugs for instance, certainly don't have a better chance at survival if they are using drugs. Certain drugs over tome destroy a lot of mechanisms in the body making you more prone to disease and death.

The ego-mind's survival is more about pleasure and pain on a mental level. Pleasure and pain is the guideline for the organism about how to survive. What the ego-mind considers to be something that would give it pleasure (like approval, status, knowledge, wealth etc...), it sees as something that helps for its survival, and something that is interpreted as undesirable it wants to escape. And the mind is so sophisticated that it can first create pain or fear, and then once again it resists the fear and pain that often it itself created, making itself go in a loop.  Strangely enough, the survival mechanism of the mind that originally came from the body, is a survival mechanism that wants to escape itself. Usually it escapes its own discomfort by distraction and delusion, which at the same time was feeding the discomfort to begin with.

Suicidal desires is indeed a form of survival, as paradoxical as that may sound. It's not for the survival of the body. but for the survival of the mind, which wants to escape pain.

Edited February 9, 2019 by Skanzi

[clouffy]

@Skanzi

On 09/02/2019 at 7:12 PM, Skanzi said:

Suicidal desires is indeed a form of survival, as paradoxical as that may sound. It's not for the survival of the body. but for the survival of the mind, which wants to escape pain.

1

wow, I've never thought of it this way.... suicide as a form of survival

would that mean suicidal desires = ego's way to call for help/ attention?

[ZZZZ]

From an egoic perspective, you could consider it the ultimate defense mechanism. Life is so far outside the bounds of what you have decided is acceptable, that you feel you simply cannot continue on that way anymore. Some event, feelings, circumstances, etc. shape the way you see the world so strongly, and they probably go against the principles of your false self. If you go on long enough ignoring that voice, the narrative will probably change. The ego is what is causing you the "pain" mentioned previously. Interesting to tie together.

Edited February 22, 2019 by ZZZZ

[Nahm]

@clouffy

You can know you are the Truth now. 

Think your egoic, self centered, thoughts of separatism.

How does it feel?

Why does it feel that way?

Because you are the Truth. You, are the light, and the love. You are unconditional, so what is there to do, but create conditions. Be it physics, choices, “i must have this”  to be happy, “I must become this” to be happy. All The Unconditional One (True You), creating via conditions... - limits.

 

It is because You Are The Happiness - that the thinking can not resolve, can not find, happiness. 

It is you, prior to the thinking.

So what must be done?

Truth is Truth, it can not be not=Truth, because, it’s True!

So the thinking MUST GO. 

The first step, is always the willingness, to stop limiting yourself.

[Hellspeed]

On 2/8/2019 at 2:56 PM, clouffy said:

I don't think any animals other than humans get "anxiety" about future events, nor do they suicide (do dogs kill themselves?)

So I'm really anxious and fearful and insecure, and it got so bad that there were recurring thoughts of suicide at the lowest times

But if ego is driving my huge status anxiety, and it made me want to kill myself, isn't this the complete opposite of what the ego wants us to do??

so, what is the source of suicide?

The source of suicide is accepting the powerlessness that is happening to you. So go Anger and Rage to really feel what is real or not. 

Let aside for a while pink unicorns and rainbows. 

There are times in life when the pain is only resolved in an offensive way.