Can't trust my mind, only awareness.

[Healingheart]

If I don't focus on being aware, my mind has all these thoughts uncounsciously (ofcours). But these thoughts are so negative, when I go in these thoughts without being aware a whole shitshow happens. I start to feel anxious, depressed, angry. 

When I'm talking to myself I'm much more positive, looking for solutions, a small bit aware.

 

It's like the more I'm unaware, the worse my thoughts are. I finally realize this, my ego doesn't care if I want to be happy.

 

It's so funny that one year ago, I was like ''fuck this awareness, it doesn't matter''. And now I'm like daaaaaaamn, awareness is more important then working out, eating healthy,.. fucking hell.

[Aakash]

You should just step back and understand the trigger thoughts that get you to feel anxious, depressed and angry. 

after identifying these thoughts- write them out and contemplate why these specific words you tell yourself make you feel this way 

an example would be 

i hate my body , this makes me feel angry 

the types of questions you can ask yourself are like

1) does my body need to be a certain size for me to be happy 2) could i do something about my body size 3) does society tell me i should feel/ look a specific way 

after questioning yourself, you'll come to understand that all insecurities come from a sense of fear 

locate what you are fearful of subconsciously that makes you think these thoughts 

and allow some breathing space, and time to work on yourself to face these fears 

this is one way you can reduce the shit show 

14 minutes ago, Healingheart said:

my ego doesn't care if I want to be happy.

your ego is not something seperate from you, its the acculuation of all your experiences that make you feel a particular way and repeat actions, if you want to take an answer spritually... you are not the ego, so over time the effect the ego has will reduce , if you work on yourself spritually 

[Healingheart]

@Aakash

Thanks for the reply.

I've done therapy and I thought about my past. I know where this triggers come from. But I'm like ''Wy do I keep thinkinh these thoughts when in reality everything is safe''.

 

I'm a bit of a mess right now since I finally am conscious that my thoughts make me feel bad. I already knew it but wasn't aware. And know I don't know what to do in life. I mean consciousness, but that's the thing I tried to avoid my whole life. hahaha

 

greetings

[Aakash]

greetings 

you are still identifying with your story that you have decided is yourself.. these are the trigger words put together in a sentence

even the best of us carry fear deep down inside of us, that don't surface until a trigger is sounded 

so don't feel too down about it yet 

when an emotion comes up, just stay with it and don't move for a little while 

remember to breath 

and each time you will calm down quicker and quicker 

fears take a while to process but we either have two choices 

1) intensify them by constantly repeating the story in our head

2) nullifying them by just remaining with them until the feeling goes 

notice both times you can't instantly stop feeling the emotion/ feeling , you have to give your self time to process it 

 

to be honest, theres nothing better you can really do in life but process your fears and anxieties as well as self reflect, this will make the future quality of your life much better. 

becoming conscious of it, is actually a great thing because you know that your the one causing your own pain and not anyone else, you take the victim mentality away from external objects and bring it inwards, which is really painful (i know) but when you let go its even more satisfying knowing you haven't blame others (i know this aswell) 

[Highest]

The mind cannot be trusted indeed, metaphysically and epistemologicaly speaking. It has always done it's duty and created falsehood from the beginning, constructed a false self, constructed a false reality, divided reality which is essentially indivisible, and told itself that it's the truth. The fact is that all is God, I and You are God, but we are misled by the shameless mind.

Becoming more aware is a good way of having an undisturbed, still, firm mind. Dozens have thought of annihilating the mind, but only grace from a realized perfect master or sadhguru can make that a possibility. Not that you should seek a master in order to annihilate the mind, it can be handy too IF it's under control, and not it controlling you.

[ajasatya]

@Healingheart where do the words "can't trust my mind" come from?

[Joseph Maynor]

Once you realize that your Mind is there to serve your Ego, you can easily deal with the Mind and appreciate the Mind.  It puts everything into context.