The Dark Night Club

[Sashaj]

Hey everyone, I’m going through some pretty difficult times with my practice but I also feel like I can offer some advice to those who have only just entered the dark night as they call it

Who else here is going through this at the moment?

[Shin]

How do you define it ?

[Sashaj]

@Shin it is like everything has  dried up but repressed emotions come to the surface and wreak havoc with day to day life. Huge swings between bliss and boredom, insights come fast but difficult to process and everything seems unreal. It feels like reality is unravelling to make way for something else; to me anyway

[Shin]

Do you feel intuitively that you could die at any moment ?

[Sashaj]

Well, these are the symptoms anyway

 

I would define it as a sense of psychological upheaval with a negative overtone

[Sashaj]

7 minutes ago, Shin said:

Do you feel intuitively that you could die at any moment ?

Not really, but this may be your personal symptom of the same kind of struggle

Or rather a realisation that I haven’t had yet

Edited February 6, 2019 by Sashaj

[Shin]

I don't think it's the same thing, I have none of your symptoms.

[Preetom]

For the last few months, I'm feeling a heavy sensation(anxiety symptom) in my chest for over 10 hours a day. It's really an uncomfortable feeling and it does feels like this sensation is somehow killing me bit by bit, or maybe even get a heart attack for christ's sake,

But kinda got used to it now. Plus there is nowhere else to go. The daily distracting mechanisms don't really work more than few minutes as well so..

I have no idea if it's some phase where emotional purging is happening or whether this sensation has nested inside my chest forever 

Edited February 6, 2019 by Preetom

[Shin]

Just now, Preetom said:

For the last few months, I'm feeling a heavy sensation(anxiety symptom) in my chest for over 10 hours a day. It's really an uncomfortable feeling and it does feels like this sensation is somehow killing me bit by bit, or maybe even get a heart attack for christ's sake,

But kinda got used to it now. Plus there is nowhere else to go. The daily distracting mechanisms don't really work more than few minutes as well so..

AHAH !

YOU'RE FUCKED !!!

[Sashaj]

3 minutes ago, Preetom said:

For the last few months, I'm feeling a heavy sensation(anxiety symptom) in my chest for over 10 hours a day. It's really an uncomfortable feeling and it does feels like this sensation is somehow killing me bit by bit, or maybe even get a heart attack for christ's sake,

But kinda got used to it now. Plus there is nowhere else to go. The daily distracting mechanisms don't really work more than few minutes as well so..

I have no idea if it's some phase where emotional purging is happening or whether this sensation has nested inside my chest forever 

Sounds like some other symptoms I have read about, maybe a purge of some sort or energy movements blah blah

[Preetom]

5 minutes ago, Shin said:

AHAH !

YOU'RE FUCKED !!!

If I die, I die on self-inquiry salt mine. Everything is too unraveled to get back to it's previous state  

[luckieluuke]

@Preetom I have that sometimes. Think it´s common panic attacks. Usually it goes away when I meditate and explore the the sensation

[Shin]

2 minutes ago, Preetom said:

If I die, I die on self-inquiry salt mine. Everything is too unraveled to get back to it's previous state  

Believe it or not,

YOU'RE STILL GONNA BURN !!!

[Sashaj]

It is difficult to write because the “writer” is changing all the time. I feel like me is floating in the wind. I’m many thoughts playing out a role all morphing into one another. It’s a mess in here haha

[Preetom]

5 minutes ago, Sashaj said:

Sounds like some other symptoms I have read about, maybe a purge of some sort or energy movements blah blah

The only thing helping me keep my cool is something I've taken as hypothesis.

We all pretty much have layers and layers of constricted emotions and feelings resulted from living and acting as a separate self for decades.

Those who are obsessively identified with the body and forms, these emotions almost never arise so intensely because it would be impossible for them to cope with it and they might pass out in worst case scenarios.

But those who progressively dis-identify from the body, these feelings come up wave after wave to clear up.

I remember the time when I couldn't just feel these heavy emotions no matter how much I wanted. The identification with the body was too strong to allow such uncomfortable feelings. I remember even sleeping for over 15 hours a day just so I didn't have to feel these sensations.

But as I did self-inquiry and progressively disidentified from the body, there is not any heavy defense mechanism present to resist these feelings anymore. So let' see how long these waves last 

[Preetom]

14 minutes ago, luckieluuke said:

@Preetom I have that sometimes. Think it´s common panic attacks. Usually it goes away when I meditate and explore the the sensation

Trust me these attacks (either short heavy impact or extended chronic effect) aren't happening for no reason. They are happening on behalf of 'someone'. And until the nature of that 'someone' is completely unraveled, these attacks will keep sticking on like shadows.

[Preetom]

15 minutes ago, Shin said:

Believe it or not,

YOU'RE STILL GONNA BURN !!!

This burning is already happening. Let everything burn, until that which can't be burnt remains //

 

[luckieluuke]

@Preetom I´m not saying that they don´t happen for no reason. That would be an extremely weird thing to believe hahaha I don´t know why you would think I or anyone would believe that.

All I am saying is that I relate to the experience you describe and in my case I believe it is panic attacks which are a very common thing for people to have so I (and possibly you?) are not alone. I also described the way I deal with it.

The purpose of my answer was to give you some insight and maybe something to explore if you didn´t already know.

[Shin]

7 minutes ago, Preetom said:

This burning is already happening. Let everything burn, until that which can't be burnt remains //

 

 

It's all fine and dandy,

Until someone lose an I ???

[Preetom]

5 minutes ago, luckieluuke said:

@Preetom I´m not saying that they don´t happen for no reason. That would be an extremely weird thing to believe hahaha I don´t know why you would think I or anyone would believe that.

All I am saying is that I relate to the experience you describe and in my case I believe it is panic attacks which are a very common thing for people to have so I (and possibly you?) are not alone. I also described the way I deal with it.

The purpose of my answer was to give you some insight and maybe something to explore if you didn´t already know.

thanks! Sorry if my post appeared rude or anything.

It seems you get it in episodes. But my case is kinda chronic and continuous. It's like 4 hours of attack, then 1 hour of relief. Then comes up another wave. They have no co-relation with external circumstances.

Anyway glad that you've found your way to cope with your case