Stuck in Comfort

[Ethan_05]

Think back to Leo's video on ego backlash or if you remember the picture that you posted on his blog about progress in this work and how you always have ego backlashes and go back in progress before you can go even further.

In my life i've found that these two polarities are very extreme like I'll be going to intense zazen practices at the local zen center and reading a ton then I'll have this ego backlash and i'll retract back into extreme comfort for days or weeks at a time before I get back into practice. Like i'll just not do anything at all except go to school and come home and stimulate myself. 

I guess my question is does anyone have experience or have any insights on how to lessen the extremes and to continue reading/practicing even when you're in the midst of an ego backlash?

[Sahil Pandit]

@Ethan_05 Go outside run a run, regardless of the weather.

See how far you can push yourself. Then, when you come home all tired and worn out, remember how hard your ancestors worked every day  just to make ends meet.

(Sorry, this may not fit your post, but i felt that it needed to be said.)

[Ethan_05]

@Sahil Pandit No it was actually very helpful. Even though we're trying to go deep and always have these very deep insights into the nature of self and stuff, I think basic gratitude can be extremely helpful. 

It's not the end all be all but I think it's very practical and can give people a little more motivation to take action.

Would you say this could also mean that you can maybe develop a sense of how good your life is comparatively, because we so often forget what completely what other people have had to endure through history and even today in certain countries and we get so caught up in our lives and the small problems that we actually have.

Edited February 5, 2019 by Ethan_05

[Nahm]

Discipline the mind to practice first thing in the morning, when will power is max.  

Disrupting the diet on an ongoing basis as a practice helps minimize the rollercoaster, and aligns with health. 

Also, there can be as much gained from the backlash as the practice. Arguably more. 

[Ethan_05]

@Nahm What do you mean by disrupting the diet?

[Ethan_05]

What might be a few things @Nahm that can be gained from ego backlash? I'm sure there are many, but just curious about a few example so I can understand ego backlash better and not have such a negative perception on it.

[Nahm]

@Ethan_05 

Zazen is part of a cycle, it’s counter being thinking / distraction. Ego backlash is of a cycle, it’s counter being delimiting the limited mind (aka increasing consciousness). The inclination is always towards homeostasis / repetition, making consciousness work a difficult endeavor. This is a beautiful thing. It’s part and parcel of this miraculous Goldilocks scenario in the ‘middle’ of infinity which makes possible the experience you’re having right now.

Eating is a constant. If you sacrifice preference in food choice for increased alignment with health / well being, then day to day you are undermining repitition in a constant / ongoing and consciousness ‘increasing’ fashion. So instead of the big swing from intense zazen (“high” conscious state) to total comfort (“low” conscious state)...your baseline comfort / repetition (via food) is disrupted / kept a little off balance; away from homeostasis, in a trajectory of alignment with well being. The swings won’t be as big, because the comfort isn’t so total.  There’s a ton of delicious healthy foods to discover too, which in itself is fun & adventurous and less boring / repetitive.

Ego backlash puts you right in the hot seat of the emotional experience of all kinds of cycles. A cycle is a repeating pattern of two things in relation to each other. This is duality, or twoness - a yin & yang nature of relativity. But you are aware of cycles / twoness, so you are not two things, you are The One, and you are not a thing, you are what’s aware of things. You only appear to be of twoness. “In this world, but not of this world” as Jesus said. 

[TheAvatarState]

@Ethan_05 accept and surrender to what is. For your little ego had nothing to do with it, but you, your higher self, had everything to do with it. There is deep wisdom in the troughs as well as the crests... Your life will be much better when you practice becoming the Watcher and start surrendering your need for psychological control. Becoming the Watcher means learning how to apply the correct lenses, as well as fine tuning them. See the artistry and beauty in everything. Because it is there.

"If you look for the light, you will often find it. But if you look for the dark, that is all you will ever see." - General Iroh 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Ethan_05 FOR SURE man. 

The survival paradigm is still here, it's just untapped.

We can tap into it, but it requires you to willingly practice emotional labor. 

I just got back from a 5 mile run, and i still have a lot of studying to do + a 4 hour night class.

For me, the more i do, the better i feel. Although i do have relaxation systems in place, so i'm not wearing myself out.

Feels good to sleep at night 

[Ethan_05]

@Sahil Pandit What do you mean by survival paradigm?

How we're so disconnected from our survival instincts, and understanding our survival mechanisms?

Not sure if this was what you're going at, but I think we're so disconnected from surviving like we live in these temperature controlled boxes, we have so many different ways to stimulate ourselves and make ourselves feel good whereas in the past we needed to work to feel good. And like living off the grid or just like running and performing physically exhausting tasks can help us get back to our survival paradigm and feel good through work not just easy habits in modern society.

[Forestluv]

@Ethan_05  I would observe belief dynamics playing in the mind regarding meditation. What is your mind-body relationship with meditation?

For me, I had always believed seated meditation for extended periods was the foundation of spirituality and personal growth. This was reinforced over and over again during my life. Over the years, I've developed knee and back problems. Yet I must persist with the meditation. Any resistance, of course, is my ego which must surrender. No pain, no gain I suppose.

Recently, I've begun to question this. . . I recently started doing Yin Yoga. My first session was deep surrender and presence. It resonated with my mind, body and spirit and felt so natural. Then I thought, why the heck am I harming my body through static seated meditation, when yin yoga is so much deeper and healthier for my mind, body and spirit? I never even considered there could be a *real* meditation practice outside of traditional static seated meditation. I've been doing yin yoga every morning and evening - it comes totally natural to me and has deepened my meditative space. 

I would suggest observing whether you have this hardcore standard of what meditation *should* be like. What qualifies as truly meditating. And explore what resonates with your mind-body. Perhaps a couple days of seated meditation a week plus a couple days of kriya yoga, kundalini, vinyassa etc, a week. I've found yoga to complement seated meditation quite well.

[Shin]

5 hours ago, Ethan_05 said:

Think back to Leo's video on ego backlash or if you remember the picture that you posted on his blog about progress in this work and how you always have ego backlashes and go back in progress before you can go even further.

In my life i've found that these two polarities are very extreme like I'll be going to intense zazen practices at the local zen center and reading a ton then I'll have this ego backlash and i'll retract back into extreme comfort for days or weeks at a time before I get back into practice. Like i'll just not do anything at all except go to school and come home and stimulate myself. 

I guess my question is does anyone have experience or have any insights on how to lessen the extremes and to continue reading/practicing even when you're in the midst of an ego backlash?

Maybe the solution is to stop going to the extreme and having steady habits that you increase or add once you feel comfortable with them.

Forcing the process too much rarely works on your favor, unless you're really fucked up and have no real alternatives.

[Sahil Pandit]

@Ethan_05 Imagine I extracted you from your house and plopped you inside the thicket of the rainforest and give you nothing but a water bottle and a knife.

What are you gonna do now?

Boom, now you're in the survival paradigm.

It's do or die. 

[Andreas]

Forget what these guys are saying. Keep it as simple as possible.

Spend at least 30 minutes each day to declare a war on all dysfunctional comfort. Once you have done that then work on your problems without giving into any type of distractions. 

[Truth Addict]

@Ethan_05 Do the same things you always do, but from now on, focus on the process instead of the results.

Detach yourself from progress and become more mindfully accepting and enjoying the process in the present moment.

[Karla]

So many great suggestions and I do love me some yin yoga!

If I were in your shoes, which of course everyone is answering as if they were in your shoes— I would do some self inquiry around what’s going on and if I was avoiding something in particular.

I get lazy or resistant when I am scared of an action or something feels off... in which case it is easier to chillax instead of facing it or continuing with a routine even when it is beneficial. Like yin yoga is amazing but sometimes I want to skip that too!

You always have the answer. Different strokes for different folks. Hopefully one of the responses points you in the direction of what’s best for you.

I remember Leo referencing Obama’s quote on how growth is not linear in a blog video. He applied it also to personal growth work, and it’s so perfectly true. 

Growth is not linear. Therefore, ups and downs on the your path are expected and very beneficial. Purification is dirty work sometimes, which is why so few people choose to do it. It can be painful and confronting. Avoiding it can be a way to overlook it short term. So, if that’s what’s going on at all, it may seem easier to ignore it for now in some way.

 

[Leo Gura]

@Ethan_05 How old are you? If you're still in school, you should even out and become more stable as you get older and practice more.

As you build more positive habits and shed negative habits you should have less erratic ups and downs in your life.

But the more you try to bull your way through issues, the more backlash you should expect. So maybe less bulling.

Read the book Mastery to learn about the difference between the obsessive mindset and the mastery mindset. The mastery mindset is stable. The obsessive mindset is erratic and prone to catastrophic collapse.

It's also important that you are fueled by positive rather than negative motivation. Negative motion tends to produce a yo-yo effect, defeating itself. Positive motivation is more stable. If you're motivated by avoidance then you'll get all of frustrating yo-yoing. For example, avoiding being overweight or avoiding being poor.