I'm quickly becoming aware of my own bullshits.

[CreamCat]

Nowadays, I meditate one hour a day. It's often uncomfortable on my chair. Still, it is a source of insights.

After meditation, a few insights come to me. Today, I became aware of various ways I was bullshitting myself.

When I was focusing on other people's bullshit, I was bullshitting myself. When I was obsessed with other people's criticism, I was bullshitting myself. When I was obsessed with other people's annoying behaviors, I was bullshitting myself.

I was bullshitting myself with various illusions involving other people and myself.

I could have focused on life purpose or whatever important work I want to do rather than on various kinds of useless illusions haunting my mind.

Edited February 3, 2019 by CreamCat

[Sahil Pandit]

@CreamCat Its like eating your greens.

You don't like the taste, but you know it's what u need. 

[Leon_Mao]

I came across a similar insight as of the last few months too. In some ways it makes it hard to do conversation, because I begin to question what's coming out of my mouth and realizing a lot of it is bullshit. Some of it isn't even my own bullshit it's others beliefs that I just regurgitate, because I haven't put enough thought into it to validate whether it is right or wrong. A bit of advice for you if you see this pattern start to develop try to take care of it before it gets to the point of being neurotic. Best of luck to you!

[Joseph Maynor]

This is good.  I had this awareness hit me too relatively recently.

Edited February 3, 2019 by Joseph Maynor

[creede]

I've stopped saying something in the middle of saying it... and my friend was like, what? What were you going to say?

I said, it was just bullshit. She wanted me to tell her anyways but I couldn't because it seemed absurd. It's weird when it starts to happen, because you're so used to swimming in the flow of bullshit and nothing ever calling you out on it.

Next question: what is noticing the bullshit?

[allislove]

35 minutes ago, creede said:

I've stopped saying something in the middle of saying it... and my friend was like, what? What were you going to say?

I said, it was just bullshit. She wanted me to tell her anyways but I couldn't because it seemed absurd. It's weird when it starts to happen, because you're so used to swimming in the flow of bullshit and nothing ever calling you out on it.

Next question: what is noticing the bullshit?

I can't say from the direct experience, but I have the concept and imagination to answer the question.

Bullshit is noticing bullshit, and another bullshit is noticing bullshit of bullshit, and so on. There're probably a lot of layers of bullshiting yourself. 

Edited February 3, 2019 by dimitri

[TheAvatarState]

@CreamCat that's awesome, one of the best things you can become conscious of. Always lead with the assumption that you've barely scratched the surface of your own Bullshit. That your Bullshit is almost like a bottomless pit (there is an end, but you're most likely still a ways away). Accept that, but keep in the back of your mind that there is an end and it's worth it to become conscious and outgrow your Bullshit. 

[creede]

@dimitri perhaps... but what if there is more  to it and answering too quickly is just more un-investigated bullshit

Edited February 4, 2019 by creede

[allislove]

2 hours ago, creede said:

@dimitri perhaps... but what if there is more  to it and answering too quickly is just more investigated bullshit

You are definitely right − this is just bullshit. 

[pointessa]

@CreamCat   What you describe as bullshit; getting irritated at other peoples behavior, I call my righteous indignation stories. They are tapes that loop through my mind of scenarios where I  was trying to do something good and someone else got in the way , or didn't understand what I was doing, blah, blah, blah. In my stories, I am only trying to do the right thing and .....fill in the blank.

If you watch the pattern of those kinds of thoughts, you will see a common theme with different names and places plugged into the story. I can have those loops playing over and over some days. They seemed to be geared by ego wishing to pit itself against something else to gain substance.

I know what they are now and rarely will I ever engage in one of them.