to feel like it, or not to feel like it - that is the question

[Viking]

This topic is about making yourself pursue the things you want to pursue. Whether it's going to the gym, reading books, doing self development generally, any stuff that generally requires you getting out of your comfort zone, investing emotional labor.

The question is: Does creating goals and going towards them really has to take willpower and forcing yourself? it seems to me like there's a more wise way, but im not sure. If resistance arises couldnt you just be mindful of that resistance, let go, and just do what needs to be done? without any motivation or balls to the wall, willpower approach?

Most Orange success oriented self help advice says to force yourself, I think the pinnacle of that is Mel Robbins, like in this video :

 "Just 5 4 3 2 1 suck it up and do it".

I cant pinpoint what's wrong with it, but it feels unnatural and like there's a better way. Also this advice doesnt always work with me, they say that "if you start in 10 minutes you suddenly do feel like it" but sometimes even a few hours of work later i feel like i have to push myself all the time and its just miserable. I dont want to live my life in misery, why would I try to improve myself constantly if the process is miserable. the process is my whole life, and its the good life im after. 

Maybe the solution to this problem is that yes, there will always be misery when pushing yourself outside your comfort zone, but you could embrace the suffering, I guess that takes enlightenment though, idk. 

what do you think?

Do you feel resistance and suffering always when pursuing goals or grinding?

[Preetom]

@Viking

This is really an existential issue and no 'one trick pony' will cross us over the sea at one go.

The 'suck it up' approach does have it's place and function, especially for those stuck in a rut for a long time. But if it's the only strategy, then congratulations are forthcoming on being pregnant with 100s of neuroses in the following years!!

10 minutes ago, Viking said:

This topic is about making yourself pursue the things you want to pursue. Whether it's going to the gym, reading books, doing self development generally, any stuff that generally requires you getting out of your comfort zone, investing emotional labor.

This right here really needs some looking. If you really want to pursue something, then why do you have to fight against the currents of your own self?

What is actually going on here? I remember a quote from Nathaniel Branden

''Humans are the only species that can formulate a set of values and pursue the completely opposite of that''

''As humans, we are given with an extraordinary responsibility from nature. We can either brighten or dim the light of consciousness. No other species have this burden''

So it is a consciousness issue.

Maybe the desires/values are inauthentic. Maybe an illusory, parasitic entity living on this internal conflict. 

Whatever the issue is, it is always a search for a release. What is this release and what are the conditions we want release from

[Viking]

On 02/02/2019 at 8:24 PM, Preetom said:

Maybe the desires/values are inauthentic. Maybe an illusory, parasitic entity living on this internal conflict. 

i revisited this topic because i didnt solve the problem. so what youre saying is that in order to do something without resistance i have to be enlightened???

i really really desire reading books but it a lot of the time i just dont feel like it

[Preetom]

23 minutes ago, Viking said:

i revisited this topic because i didnt solve the problem. so what youre saying is that in order to do something without resistance i have to be enlightened???

Yes. Only enlightenment can bring the totally frictionless life.

24 minutes ago, Viking said:

i really really desire reading books but it a lot of the time i just dont feel like it

This really goes to the heart of the matter. Why do you think you need to read books in the first place? Because self-help gurus brainwash you?

Go back and live your old life with it's old pleasures. You probably won't wake up from it anyway unless you get thoroughly frustrated with it.

Maybe then, you'd open up a possibility to authentically want something high conscious.

[UDT]

On 2/2/2019 at 7:05 PM, Viking said:

I cant pinpoint what's wrong with it, but it feels unnatural and like there's a better way. Also this advice doesnt always work with me, they say that "if you start in 10 minutes you suddenly do feel like it" but sometimes even a few hours of work later i feel like i have to push myself all the time and its just miserable. I dont want to live my life in misery, why would I try to improve myself constantly if the process is miserable. the process is my whole life, and its the good life im after. 

Its because you are working against your souls desire. You need to go way more deep inside yourself and fix the root issues you have with yourself. Your motivations to do whatever you want to do are still surface patches to bigger problems. Your inner self is still chocked by something and cant articulate itself. 

And yes its hard to pursue your dream through all the obstacles. But again, THAT IS exactly the point. If youre just on the self actualization train because your life is boring and you need something to bs yourself, then thats what you get!  But then you dont want to do it, you want something else! 

Realize that you only gonna feel worse if you dont start, dont try and try again and try and fail and try. If you stop, you gonna suffer sooo much, its fucking horrible. So there is really only one way. Realize it now or relalize it in 20 years but its the same way. Its only gonna get a lot harder and harder and at some point you gonna leave this realm here and might fucked up so you gonna have to start again!

[Salvijus]

@Viking I give you some ideas to contemplate. Most likely what you do is not in line with what life wants you to do. 

 

On 2019-02-02 at 8:05 PM, Viking said:

The question is: Does creating goals and going towards them really has to take willpower and forcing yourself? 

You don't have to create goals. There's only one path in life. To serve Life within you. If you're in line with it, you'll be blissful. If you don't, then life within you will suffer.

Sadhguru says its not okey to force anything in life, even in a bathroom. It means you're going against life in some way. 

This doesn't mean you can't use physcial strenght and be intense. It means if you're forcing yourself to do something and suffer then you're doing something fundamentally wrong. 

Climbing Mount everest could be a tremendous pain. But it's a joyful pain. Because in every step there's a willingness to do it. With how much willingness you have is what makes all the difference. 

If you move in life unwillingly you'll feel like being raped by life. If you do the same thing willingly it's an amazing experience. If you climb mountain unwillingly it feels like torture. If willingly, then feels  like an adventure.

Idk if this is relevent to this topic  but it's a video about how we don't have any choice. we can only serve Life within us, there's no other choice. Starts at 31min

Maybe you'll hear something that resonates with you and you'll get an insight about your problem.

Edited February 12, 2019 by Salvijus

[Viking]

@see_on_see thats the most useful answer i got, thank you