how do i know my genuine intention with a girl?

[LoveandPurpose]

How do I know if I genuinely like a girl and want to be friends with her or if I'm just lying to myself, having the unconscious desire to just wanting to have sex with her?

[zambize]

I don't think it has to be one or the other, I think sometimes our kind of lower-level desires just happen to match up with our needs that are higher up the pyramid and it can seem kind of vague and hard to tell our own intentions because it gets so scrambled with multiple conflicting desires.  My guess is that you do want to be friends with her on a genuine emotion/peer level and have a meaningful relationship, but if you're a guy like me at least, you probably would be totally down if she was down, and that's totally okay if that's what she is also looking for

[LoveandPurpose]

@zambize That's not what she's looking for, she's got a boyfriend. Lately I feel frustated in her presence. Maybe being on NoFap doesn't help, too.

Thanks for you reply btw

[Sucuk Ekmek]

Well, there might be other solutions to approach this but if I were you, I would try to make my unconscious conscious. 

Edited January 31, 2019 by Sucuk Ekmek

[ajasatya]

56 minutes ago, LoveandPurpose said:

How do I know if I genuinely like a girl and want to be friends with her or if I'm just lying to myself, having the unconscious desire to just wanting to have sex with her?

this is one of the hardest questions that i've ever seen on this forum. i'll think about it and i may or may not find a comprehensible generic answer to you. feel free to pm me if you're not comfortable with sharing more details about your feelings here.

Quote

That's not what she's looking for, she's got a boyfriend. Lately I feel frustated in her presence.

nevermind! that's just being possessive!

Edited January 31, 2019 by ajasatya

[LoveandPurpose]

@ajasatya Wow thank you very much for offering this, I really appreciate it. I will contact you in the next two days because that's when I'll be thinking more deeply about this topic.

[Shadowraix]

Reflect on yourself. You know how you are feeling. Be brutally honest. Sort your desires. 

[Rufus]

This is a good question, 
It cannot be answered with a small post, I need to explain and define some essential matters first.

I think you need first to tell the deferences between conditional love, and non-conditional love.

Most of the romantic love we know and inherited from our parents and society is conditional love, you love somebody because she's hot, cute, rich, you like the way she smiles, she likes your money, you both are from rich families, or you have something in common in a survival level.

There is nothing right or wrong about conditional love, it's an essential experience to be lived at some stage in your life, whether it lasted or not, it's just usually when the conditions between you go away, then this love will go away and may also turn into hatred, (Like simply if she turns ugly as she ages, or you become poor so she leaves you, or one of you has developed bad habits, smell, food, betrayal, or your interests changes.. etc),
usually, conditional relationships don't respect space for development, space for healing, 
if such relationships remain, it remains as a duty for both, due to the marriage contract in between, or because of kids, or that reason that made you love each other has faded away,........... or because you both didn't meet someone better yet .

as Non-conditional love, It's not determined by condition, you consciously conduct a non-selfish relationship with somebody despite look, sexiness, money, position, and all conditions, because you both know you both can understand and support each other, stand for each other, guide and correctly each other, or do something amazing to the world with each other. 
I personally see the most important thing to find in true non-conditional love is that nobody is possessing the other, no over attachment, no jealousy, and you both give each other's space when you need to, and even if you break up, no one is emotionally over-hurt or damaged, you both are extremely honest about your intentions and don't hide secrets from each other,  at the same time, you both respect each other's needs, and you have each other backs regardless of conditions in between,

can that girl you met understand this? can you be open with her at that level?

You may not pursue that relationship and develop it to romantic levels because you feel untempted, she/or he is probably not your best cup of coffee on the survival level, he/she is not (hot) or (rich) o (entertaining) enough to fulfill some of your screaming survival needs, she/or he is probably the person you are friend zoning right now, you don't sleep together but you enjoy hanging out together, share stories, drink together, and tell your secrets to each other.. unconditional love is more like friendship than romantic love but it can be grown consciously and turned into a healthy romantic love!

It's too rare to find both Conditional and Non-Conditional love in your life, it's not impossible though.
many times that what you think is non-conditional love when that woman is (hot and cute - or has that smile), is actually a conditional love hiding underneath many layers of egoic excuses that makes you both think this is unconditional!

Now, what do you really want from a girl/ or a girl want from a guy?
to answer your question, You need to look at the conditions in between, if it's only conditions are what's attracting you together, then it's a compulsive unconditional love, I am not saying "Avoid", but assuming you are here in Actualized.Org, which is one of the most powerful self-development/awakening resources  you can ever find online, You may think twice before going through a conditional relationship! and when you know exactly the differences between conditional and non-conditional love, you are now responsible for seeking any of them! this will impact your Karma based on your intentions.

So would you like to go through the experience consciously and learn?
Please don't abuse that relationship, most of the ladies throughout the past till our current generation are still over-emotional and conditioned to seek a serious conditional relationship, they are not looking for an opportunity to learn and then to be dumped out. they dream to find a caring boyfriend who will fulfill her basic needs and then become their future responsible husband and raise a nice small family, so please be conscious and responsible.

But also, what many girls (and guys) are willingly wanting to have some sex fun or enjoy some intimate moments and cuddling, and you are willingly want to have the same!
So you may be asking, is it wrong to have some emotional and.or sexual fun? 

Now what I'm going to say next may be controversial and strange to most cultures, so don't take it for granted or make conclusions, but think consciously about it.

We live in the 21th century, for the first time, this is the age of condoms, magic pills, and there are many newer and upcoming methods to control birth, today family breeds are not a social restriction to many as it was before, sex and romance doesn't have that amount of medical and social consequences as it used to before, and for that sexuality shouldn't be a taboo anymore, we are the generation that can finally use sex for fun, and only fun!
if you both are conscious enough to have some fun?, no one is using the other and put false promises?, and living responsibly in a society and atmosphere where you don't get punished or executed for having sex without marriage, there is nothing wrong with having sex, if you are conscious, sexuality can be fun, and not just that but also a Karma free activity!
that, of course, doesn't mean to become a slut, asshole or a sex addict, and hide under the excuse of having fun. so please again be responsible.
I might be wrong about all this because I myself still learning life, but I am encouraging you to think beyond the norms.

regarding that girl that you are interested in, try to see, is she interested in a serious relationship? then evaluate whether this relationship is conditional or not, if you want to proceed with conditional love, you need to be ready for drama (which many of us still enjoy). the day you have children with somebody, you just signed a divine responsibility to raise them whether you still love their mother or not, the day you have children you need to put raising them on top of your life purpose, in fact raising children should become your life purpose.

If that feelings towards that girl are unconditional love,  you need to see how strongly you both are capable to understand each other, pursue a meaningful life purpose together, and how willing are you to also break from each other peacefully if that was for the best interest for your souls. 

You need to make your own sense and take responsibility, who you want to have a relationship with, so you want a relationship in the first place, or do you just want to have fun? 

Edited February 1, 2019 by Rufus