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Aakash

stage 4 of the ox herding pictures

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@Aakash I have to listen to my own advice too. Take it one step at a time. Saying to myself, "ok, today is the day I try this." You know, try something simple before taking another simple little step. Sometimes if I keep looking at the big picture, it won't work.

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@Aakash I'm going to mention this because I find it important into seeing the Ox pics. Your karma counts too. Sometimes it's not so easy for us to take the right action in a "meditative state" because we're looking at the big picture too much. We don't understand what are baby steps. We think we know but we don't. Take a look at your fingers. Are they going for YouTube? If so, are you watching the same thing over and over again? Are you repeating without progress? If so, touch the camera button of your smartphone or laptop. Start recording something of your interest. If not, just start talking. Come on! Do it! xD It doesn't matter if it's silly or you make mistakes on it. It's only your first clip. It's just practice. You can always edit it later.

You see! Now you've made progress. You recorded something! Just look at your fingers and hands and do self-inquiry on them. Notice where they go. Notice the compulsion. The moment you touch your smartphone or laptop, stop! Do this exercise. :D Repeat it several times. Observation of fingers to hands to touching the computer--repeat this exercise many times. Increase awareness in this way.

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11 hours ago, Aakash said:

 it was really beautiful without any thoughts, i kept looking at trees on my walk home and i noticed alot more intricate details, the trees have no leaves but the branches looked amazing, it was like i entered a new world because the tree wasn't a tree, there was no thought coming into my head saying this is a path, this is a tree, this are some bushes, i couldn't name a thing - it was silence, i never wanted to come out from. but knew it would break sooner or later when i had to think and talk about something to my parents and that very thought (fear) sent me out of it lol. 

i think this has got myself over another barrier in one way, wanting to become enlightened really fast, now i know that this is not possible without loads of work. 

That is a great description. That is a good look at a facet and there is more of that “essence” of being. There are other flavors as well. 

Early in my path the seeking was to find the answer and to figure it out. I read a lot, meditation groups, lots of chats and debates. Then I had 4 or 5 nondual experiences and the energetic seeking completely shifted. The desire and yearning was to BE that nonduality again. It sounds like you are there and it’s really advanced with a form energy that can fuel more development.

Ime, I got into a trap of chasing an experience and trying to recreate the experience. One thing I learned is that there are many variations of nondual experiences. If you have an expectation it’s only certain way, you will limit your expansion possibilities. 

As well, I wanted to re-enter that state and stay there. I saw it as “all or nothing” and I missed lots of subtle nondual experiencies. Rather than expect and crave the “big shebang”, be observant for small glimpses and subtle nondual “teasers”. For me, moments of surprise gratitude and appreciation can open a portal to nonduality.

Where I live, we had a major snowstorm today. I worked late. It was cold, dark and snowing as I walked to my car. I was dreading having to brush and scrap the snow/ice off my car. As I walked to the parking lot, lots of thoughts about work were racing through my head. Then, whammo!!! Someone cleared off all the snow and ice off my car. I was so touched and grateful someone did that. It was love. It snapped me back into the Now. I stood there in the blizzard laughing for no reason. For a moment I saw the divine in all that was around me. Being the beauty that surrounded me. Then, it fluttered away like a butterfly to it’s next flower ? 

One can only surrender ego to a point. Then, grace may reveal something.

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