How to be selfless without being exploited?

[Eric Tarpall]

It's easy to let people take advantage of you when you don't care about yourself. How would you fix this?

[Shadowraix]

Sounds like you already know the answer to this. 

[Eric Tarpall]

2 minutes ago, Shadowraix said:

Sounds like you already know the answer to this. 

No I don't.

[Salvijus]

Being selfless doesnt mean you do everything that people ask you to do for them. It means you want other people to be happy that's all. And in your capacity you do what you can to give them happyness.

If someone says give me all your money and you give him all your money, that's not selfless activity. punching him in the face would be a greater service to him then giving him all your money. See...

Btw. Look at saints and gurus who give their whole life to others. Is anyone taking advantage of them? No but you can use them for your wellbeing and liberation whenever you want. They want to you to use them

 

Edited January 27, 2019 by Salvijus

[Eric Tarpall]

1 minute ago, Salvijus said:

Being selfless doesnt mean you do everything that people ask you to do for them. It means you want other people to be happy that's all. And in your capacity you do what you can to give them happyness.

If someone says give me all your money and you give him all your money, that's not selfless activity. punching him in the face would be a greater service to him then giving him all your money. See...

Btw. Look at saints and gurus who give their whole life to others. Is anyone taking advantage of them? No but you can use them for your wellbeing and liberation whenever you want. 

 

Oh I see what you mean. That's a good explanation. Thank you.

[Shadowraix]

5 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

No I don't.

Work on your contemplation. 

[ajasatya]

being selfless and not taking care of yourself are very different things.

being selfless just means that you don't exploit/manipulate people and that you help them when you can.

trying to help people regardless of your own well-being is an example of irresponsibility, which counts for "not taking care of yourself".

[Eric Tarpall]

My main problem is that I don't know what to do when my self interest collides with other people's interests.

[Shadowraix]

5 minutes ago, Eric Tarpall said:

My main problem is that I don't know what to do when my self interest collides with other people's interests.

Very situational. At the end you do what you want. You are gonna have to find the balance for yourself in every situation. 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Eric Tarpall get your own needs met early in the morning (meditate, eat well, exercise, prep for the day) then let the rest of the day be about you giving from your authentic self and from a place of openness and understanding of other people and their needs.

[ajasatya]

12 hours ago, Eric Tarpall said:

My main problem is that I don't know what to do when my self interest collides with other people's interests.

give us a practical example and we can study it together

[Saarah]

@Eric Tarpall Teal Swan talks about boundaries and conflicts of interest. She advises something along the lines of taking others interests as part of your own and vice versa but not necessarily at the expense or above your own so as to allow anything, which seems to be your difficulty.

Probably don't stay around anyone who is completely incapable of also taking your interests at heart. It won't work out perfectly but at least be sure that another does demonstrate this enough.

If you have a tendency to not care about yourself and always be compromising, try watching for thoughts and emotions like guilt which could stem from shadow/self-image attachments, get to the bottom of them

[Metatron]

Pray for someone's spiritual ascension in secret.
There is no way you will be exploited this way.
The more you dislike the person you are praying for, the more it needs your compassion.
The real result is surprising, the more you pray for others to ascend, the more you will be carrying out the process, and rise for yourself.