How do you guys deal with egoic drives?

[Sukhpaal]

Hey guys, I'm curious to know how you guys deal with your deepest egoic drives. For me, my biggest egoic drive is power over women through relationships and social status.

I'm keen on seeing how people deal with their egoic drives so I can deal with mine as well in a more healthy manner.  

[DrewNows]

hmm interesting. Would you mind sharing how you've gone about dealing with this personality trait? 

For me, whatever has become a very strong part of my identity will tend to bring these undesirable actions. I played soccer my entire life, and when i started playing more recreational, i noticed my ego had built up to an extreme degree. It took a while to get out of this sort of energy for good, and well it sometimes creeps up on me when i am not aware. But it can really be as simple as bringing awareness to these drives you have when they are present. Id imagine it also helps to be aware of how serious you take yourself and life. I lived most of my life, raised to take life 'too seriously' and it created a lot of suffering. 

[DocHoliday]

Never not do anything just because you think you ought not to do it.

If you enjoy doing certain things, then do ‘em. 

But if you wish to better yourself by discarding certain tendencies (which seems to be the case here I suppose) then simply observe yourself while you’re doing whatever you don’t want to do anymore and notice with awareness how it hurts you or others around you. 

If it's a true problem for you, then Albert Einstein will help you by stating that “Any problem cannot be solved from the same level of consciousness that created it.”

[Sukhpaal]

@DrewNows For me, I noticed I've always chased relationships. I always made sure the girl was super attractive so I could have other people envy me. This gave me a sense of power and status. Similar to how rich people show off their wealth through cars and houses, I showed my status off through my girlfriend. I also would manipulate the girl I was dating so I could have power over her. I loved having power over my partners, and when I got bored of it, I'd dump the girlfriend and go chase another one to repeat the cycle. 

[DrewNows]

@Sukhpaalhmm okay. good to see you're reflecting. If you desire to change or be more authentic it might be a good idea to reevaluate your intentions and see if you can be true to who you are and not who you think you should be...that's really all ive got mate. taking a 100% honesty approach 

I started questioning how much fun it was to continue playing soccer...i knew i had to let it go for a while, and before i knew it i injured myself. It was a life changing long break

 

[Charlotte]

My new approach is being conscious of it and then loving it to death. At first I actually felt resistance to it, a minor uncomfortable emotion accompanied the practice but over time it's becoming easier. 

I always look for the counterintuitive move.

[Eric Tarpall]

I usually don't act on them because I feel guilt and shame. And then later I regret that I didn't obey my desires.

[Bluebird]

@Sukhpaal Deep inquiry seems to help. Asking why, exploring in your direct experience and letting go of emotions that arise.

The Work of Byron Katie and Letting Go by David Hawkins are the two most impactful books I've ever read and applied in this regard.

[Consept]

2 hours ago, DrewNows said:

@Sukhpaalhmm okay. good to see you're reflecting. If you desire to change or be more authentic it might be a good idea to reevaluate your intentions and see if you can be true to who you are and not who you think you should be...that's really all ive got mate. taking a 100% honesty approach 

I started questioning how much fun it was to continue playing soccer...i knew i had to let it go for a while, and before i knew it i injured myself. It was a life changing long break

 

Its funny i had the exact same thing with football as we call it in the UK, i loved playing it but i noticed after my ego would grow so big if i had played well or really get me down if id played well, recreationally or official games. I also got injured so that shutdown that avenue of ego, although at its best it offered me a way to get into a flow state so its a shame i cant play anymore. 

Aside from that I used to have an ego drive to get really wealthy, a business I started doing well, not crazy but at least something so i didnt have to 9 to 5 it. From that i saw that increase in wealth makes 0% difference to how you feel internally, you have less to worry about but as Sadhguru says your problems really start when you get what you want. 

One ive kindve been dealing with recently is being a player or getting what i want from a relationship, i think its obviously cool to get what you want from a relationship but when you think youre so great for doing it and almost like youre winning its probably a problem. 

Finally there is an ego drive to be free of any mental issues and/enlightened, what i mean by this is i feel like i need to have a completely clear, fully functioning mind so i can be the 'best' me at all times, i get down when i cant be this way all the time. Also when i do have a clear mind ego eventually gets attached and claims credit for how great 'i' am. This ego thing is really complexed lol 

[Anton Rogachevski]

By realizing there's no control whatsoever: One is completely powerless against unconsciousness.

Only a realization of a higher power and a complete surrender of your will shall resolve this. You can't even surrender, but only decide to do so.

Trust that a higher power can heal you. You can't, because you are the helpless ego that keeps causing trouble because of arrogance.

Also love yourself unconditionally regardless of result. Let go of results.

Learn to pray,
Help god help you.

Edited January 28, 2019 by Anton Rogachevski

[Sahil Pandit]

3 hours ago, Charlotte said:

My new approach is being conscious of it and then loving it to death. At first I actually felt resistance to it, a minor uncomfortable emotion accompanied the practice but over time it's becoming easier. 

I always look for the counterintuitive move.

This makes life soooooo much smoother doesn't it! 

[DrewNows]

@Conseptcool dude when people reach that "flow state" they never wanna leave the game ha! Probably the only other area i easily notice flow states is weight lifting, for me anyways. Liverpool all the way <3 idk your team but ive followed them since i was a lad and this year is exciting 

4 hours ago, Consept said:

Finally there is an ego drive to be free of any mental issues and/enlightened, what i mean by this is i feel like i need to have a completely clear, fully functioning mind so i can be the 'best' me at all times, i get down when i cant be this way all the time. Also when i do have a clear mind ego eventually gets attached and claims credit for how great 'i' am. This ego thing is really complexed lol 

can also relate to this. As Charlotte said in her post, loving/accepting the ego for whatever it is always has to be the first step to overcoming without creating more suffering 

7 hours ago, Charlotte said:

I always look for the counterintuitive move.

haha yup it's like wait what...? but..that's not who i wanna be  

[Consept]

20 hours ago, DrewNows said:

@Conseptcool dude when people reach that "flow state" they never wanna leave the game ha! Probably the only other area i easily notice flow states is weight lifting, for me anyways. Liverpool all the way <3 idk your team but ive followed them since i was a lad and this year is exciting 

can also relate to this. As Charlotte said in her post, loving/accepting the ego for whatever it is always has to be the first step to overcoming without creating more suffering 

haha yup it's like wait what...? but..that's not who i wanna be  

Yeah trust me i was playing on Achilles tendonitis for years, i just didnt want to stop, which probably made it worse  But it showed me that anything in life can be taken from you at any moment and you have to accept it which im quite proud of myself that ive done. I do weightlifting as well so its a bit of a substitute. Man Utd for me since i was young, but liverpool are looking good i have to say 

 

 

Edited January 29, 2019 by Consept