Returning to life; as a nondual being

[ivankiss]

Content, content, content. I am full of it 

This one is about returning to the game of life with force and love; after realizing your true nature. - After you died and woke up to nothing. - After you left your human form and life altogether. - After the clock stopped ticking.

This is a guide on how to return to life after knowing there is no life and still enjoy the crap out of it. It is also a raw display of my reality; which does not really exist.

If you broke through meaning and purpose, and do not know how to continue or do you continue at all; you might find something for yourself here.

 

Nonduality always was. You were in the way.

 

Yes, you are right. Nothing ever changes. Everything stays the same. No matter how deep the insights you have. No matter how high the perspectives you choose. You will wake up and see absolutely nothing; with your eyes wide open. 

Nothing won't end. Eveything will be.

You will still be. You cannot help yourself but be. No matter how hard you try; you cannot escape here and now. You cannot possibly be anywhere else. Even if you are deluding yourself; you are doing it right now, always. In the present moment. In the eternal continuum. You cannot be anything else but everything. It's just a matter of how aware you are of yourself. Of nothing.

I use the word "you" not caring about how it is percieved. Tying an idea of an ego to it is done way too often, way too commonly. It's rather childish.

You are You on all levels. Be it egoic ( imaginary ) or real  ... ( still imaginary ) 

There is absolutely no difference in what words you use to describe your infinitude. You cannot be defined. Especially not with words. You are all there is and ever will be; put it as you wish.

The level of "egotism" some one percieves in these kinds of statements is based strictly on their level of evolution and understanding. It depends merely on how awake and conscious they are. Do they see through the illusion of an idea called "ego". Or do they demonize and chase this imaginary idea for all eternity.

Why pay so much attention to something that is "in your way" and never really existed in the first place ? 

 

Stop enjoying the role of a victim.

 

You know exactly what I'm talking about. Deny all you want; you are only fooling yourself. There is no one else here who could be fooled. You love pitying yourself and you love avoiding responsibility for your experience. And you hate admitting to yourself; you've been only causing pain to yourself all along. You were the one hurting yourself continuously, deliberately; not realizing what you are doing nor what you really are (about) .

All the pain and suffering is your creation. Part of your imagination; the dream. The whole world's pain is yours only. You are the only one who has been suffering this whole time; no one else. And you suffered because you were afraid of trully taking a look at the mirror; at yourself. You were so afraid of realizing you are nothing; an illusion, a miracle, mist, a paradox. You were afraid of yourself do death. - That's the root of all pain.

But it was still all created by you; for you; of you.

There is no other possible way in which things could appear or happen. No step was ever mislaid. You did precisely what you were meant to do; wake the fuck up, for once already.

You have been asleep since forever. You were like a monkey; staring at his own reflection in the mirror, not realizing he is only seeing himself. So he jumps all confused around the mirror and throws banana peels at it. Yup. Sounds like a pretty accurate analogy.

 

So what does the monkey do once he realizes; he only sees himself in the mirror? 

 

At first it would be probably shoking, outrageous, seemingly impossible and utterly incredible to him. His mind would be completely blown away by the mirror, probably.

But guess what?

Sooner or later, he would grab another banana and keep on being, living. He may even try to interact with the mirror. He may put the mirror to a simular use as we humans do. He may also give it a completely new meaning, or no meaning at all.

Nevertheless, the monkey would now know for sure; he only sees his own reflection.

You see where I am going with this, yes? I seem to be naturally good at expressing things in a simple, casual way. Other monkies seem to over-complicate this one simple function of the mirror; to reflect back. To mirror.

Some monkies stare at their own reflection for decades, lifetimes; even.

They move their hand; the reflection moves it's hand.

They nod; the reflection nods.

And they somehow start questioning their own free will in this process 

Of course; I am trying to be humorous here. By no means I want to declare myself superior or anything. I am very much just a monkey, as well. Among all other monkies. I just seem to be ok with the mirror and my reflection in it.

 

You have free will; for God's sake! Use it, now!

 

Again; I'll put this as simple as possible. As precisely as language allows me to;

There is nothing outside of you. There is nobody here who could control you or anything else. You are both the creator and the experiencer of everything. And you are also an illusion and do not really exist.

But you also do.

And while or when you do; you have the absolute freedom to do whatever the hell you want, damn it!

Who says?  Y O U says!

Just drop the bullshit and give yourself the permition to be trully and absolutely free, for once already. You deserve it. You created heaven for you to experience it. Hell is also your creation. And so is the idea of any difference between the two.

There are no differences. No questions. Only pure love, passion, excitement and eagerness to play; to be alive in your kingdom. To know yourself while you are yourself. To honor the gift of that possibility. It is a pure miracle. I cannot stress this enough.

 

No, there is no difference between my body and the tree I'm staring at. L i t e r a l l y.

No, there is no difference between real and unreal.

No, there is no difference between existence and non-existence.

No, there is no difference between nothing and everything.

 

And there also definitely is. What isn't also is.

But I do not care about that. The realization of these things do not change anything, really. Nonduality is all that could possibly ever be.

It's just that now, I am somehow able to see it. Be it and be aware of it simultaniously.

 

So what is there to do, you might ask?

 

Nothing. And everything. Absolutely nothing. And totally everything. If that's not freedom, then I don't know what the heck is.

You can dive in deep. You can fly up high. You can move, you can laugh, you can cry. You can be still. You can breathe.

You can love. 

You can create. You can express. You can feel. You can see the perfection in every inch of your creation. You can listen to yourself while others seem to speak. You can speak your truth through other people's mouths. You can make etarnal love to yourself; and never get bored with it. You can be spontaneous and live a super-accelerated life. You can be eternal while still human. You can keep surprising yourself for all eternity. You can go to sleep whenever you want.

There are things that cannot possibly loose on their magic-factor. They are simply unspeakable. Even a great artist would fail at painting it onto a canvas.

 

These are but a few things you can do, once you wake up to yourself. But the question is not "can you"? Rather; "will you"? 

What more could there possibly be than nothing and everything combined together? How much freer could you possibly get? 

No fear of life; no fear of death. No fear at all.

That is true liberation. The end of the victimhood. The dawn of the creator.

Will cannot possibly be given to you for free; while you are still playing victim. 

Will must be taken. Claimed back. Chosen.

Sync in with your moves. Adore them, be amazed by each and every one of them. The dance is eternal. There is no one here who could get tired of it.

 

I am awake now for all eternity. 

I am transparent; ever changing. Yet I am also unchangable; whole. I am 1% Ivan and 99% all there is and isn't - to put it that way. There is little to no sense of separation at all. And that 1% is there by a conscious choice. Deliberately, on purpose.

I choose to live freely, unburdened of all the heavy weight of rules, conditions and limitations. I choose to experience myself as an individual, as well. I like this point of view I have of myself from over here. I have no need to escape anything. Be it illusory or real.

I simply do not care for what's right and what's wrong. I can possibly do no harm to anybody. Why would I harm myself?

I may as well be seen as The Devil. Zero fucks are given. The moment I'd decide to buy into any of that crap, is the moment I'd throw my freedom away. Throw my will away; which is free. And also priceless.

I would let the mirror fool me and delude myself into believing something other then what is right in front of my face; doing nothing; reflecting.

 

There is that one thing you're all about. Go do that and forget about slavery forever.

 

You may have programmed yourself unconsciously to be a perfect, obeying slave. You naild that; just as you nailed everything else.

You cannot help yourself but be perfect. You cannot possibly not be whole.

However; now that you know this, you can choose to keep doing what you have been already doing; with will, burning passion, unstoppable force and unconditional love. - For yourself and all. For both God's and The Devil's sake. 

Yes. It will all be precisely for nothing and will never ever change anything, actually.

But you will get to have an experience of how it is to walk on Earth as an infinite being. As all there is. As life itself.

 

...and that's the most kickass dream one could possibly ever have 

Edited January 26, 2019 by ivankiss

[SoonHei]

@ivankiss love your writings!

 

Also, though this question may be from an egoic point of view... Do try and answer

 

The Awareness of Ivan which is now awake and knows itself as Oneness... 

Vs the awareness of SoonHei which still thinks and operates as SoonHei... 

 

They are the same one awareness

But have 2 different point of views of experience

 

So. As you say, now you're eternally awake...

 

Are You referring to the POV of the awareness centered around Ivan's character...

Upon the death of Ivan's physical body... Where will that POV of awareness shift into

 

Can that POV of awareness which you speak from (Centered around Ivan's character) not again forget itself as awareness and be reborn as another baby here or some other form elsewhere in the infinite?

 

Or as the hindus say, that awakening ends the cycle of life and death...

So whatever appears infront of this now-self realised-awareness after Ivan's death... Will be known to be unreal and illusiory? No more falling for your own tricks? (For that particular POV Awareness of Ivan's which awoke)

[ivankiss]

@SoonHei Thanks! Cool questions!

Ivan is a perspective. A point of view, yes. Through this point of view I was able to become aware of myself. Awareness became aware of itself through a perspective labeled as "Ivan". Ivan is also a story. Fiction. Imagination. Yet the story is loved and has it's place. Illusion is not evil. It is smart, intelligent.

The perspective is not outside of all there is. It is not seperate frome the whole. It only acts in such a way. As if it was a fragment. A seperate part. This way one can take a look at oneself.

Intelligence can dumb itself down, indeed. That is how intelligent it really is. That is how infinite it is. It is just unbelievable. Flawless.

There is no difference between the perspective "Ivan" and the perspective "SoonHei". They are, essentially, one and illusory, yes. But that does not mean they are not real, as well. Both perspectives are unique in both their perception as well as expression. Yet they are, ultimately percieving, describing and experiencing the same one thing; Infinity.

Death is a transition. A part of the dream; not the end of it. One can experience death in many ways and it can feel as real as one can imagine. But one can never trully die.

Only fall asleep for an eternity. Until one wakes up again.

Bless!

Edited January 26, 2019 by ivankiss

[Forestluv]

@ivankiss Returning to life can be a process. Lots of gems in your writing ? 

[SriBhagwanYogi]

@ivankiss Awesome post !

Seems like you meditated inquired like this: 

 

[SoonHei]

@ivankiss but i still don't think the question was answered... Or maybe i didn't get it

 

Just want to know mainly that now that this awareness, centered around Ivan is self-realised / has awoken... It will not eternally be awake?

 

Sure, the awareness centered around another new born baby or any other form IS THE SAME awareness as the one of Ivan's... And those will continue... But Ivan's POV Awareness, which is now awake, this will now never be not awake (yes, it was never asleep to begin with, by the embodiment of the awakeness which is now there, that can now never be lost) ?

 

That's all I ask...

Unsure if it can be answered as a YES / NO...

 

I feel that it wouldn't ever lose it again... Hence why you wrote that you are now eternally awake... The dream before your eyes will continue to expand, Change and grow for eternity... But you will remain ever-aware and realized about it.

 

The hindu concept of freedom from life+death... Life = forgetting you are wholeness and latching onto a form which appars in you... Death = return to your true self.

You will now have a consious return to your true self (you have already had that) so upon the death of ivans body, you will now not ever mistake your identity to a form and be born into a world of form. 

Forms will be born. Inside of you and as you but you will remain and keep a GOD POV for Eternity now... Vs going from Ivan's POv to another form's POV and so on...

 

? Am i correct to say that?

@ivankiss

[ivankiss]

@SoonHei Correct, I suppose. Though I cannot tell this for sure until physical death happens and "sticks through". - Because I am also pretty sure I died physically, at least once. That is; I had the experience of physical death.

I die and am reborn again sooner than I can blink, actually. But that is not the same as the experience of physical death. That's just simply my nature.

To try and answear your question as clearly as possible; yes.

There is no more way for awareness to confuse itself for an object, or any other form. It knows itself as formless.

No location, no identity. Infinite, limitless and unconditionally loving. Awareness is the pure unmanifested potential. It yearns to play, to be, to express. Yet it is complety still; silent. Has no need to rush. Has no need at all.

The awareness that is centered around Ivan right now will be just that, once Ivan dies completely; awareness.

However; awareness can consciously choose when to let go of this form. This idea called Ivan. This storyline/timeline. This point of view. This dream.

Or so it seems, right now.

Once there is no perspective left; awareness is all there is. Nothing is.

And it can take on any form, indeed.

So I would say it impossible for me to continue the unconscious cycle of dying as an old man and being reborn as a newborn; baby. 

That can, through my current view and understandings, happen only if one dies unaware of oneself. 

Unconscious reproduction does not seem like an option, either.

Hope I did not miss your point, again 

Cheers!

Edited January 26, 2019 by ivankiss

[ivankiss]

@Serotoninluv For now it seems like it will be the best thing ever. I do not fear challenges anymore, really. I am eager to face them.

No real struggle can happen if there is no need to avoid struggle 

Thank you, much respect! 

@SriBhagwanYogi Never seen this one before. Seems like a pleasant guy.

Will watch the whole video one of these days; thanks!

Edited January 26, 2019 by ivankiss

[SoonHei]

27 minutes ago, ivankiss said:

@SoonHei Correct, I suppose. Though I cannot tell this for sure until physical death happens and "sticks through". - Because I am also pretty sure I died physically, at least once. That is; I had the experience of physical death.

I die and am reborn again sooner than I can blink, actually. But that is not the same as the experience of physical death. That's just simply my nature.

To try and answear your question as clearly as possible; yes.

There is no more way for awareness to confuse itself for an object, or any other form. It knows itself as formless.

No location, no identity. Infinite, limitless and unconditionally loving. Awareness is the pure unmanifested potential. It yearns to play, to be, to express. Yet it is complety still; silent. Has no need to rush. Has no need at all.

The awareness that is centered around Ivan right now will be just that, once Ivan dies completely; awareness.

However; awareness can consciously choose when to let go of this form. This idea called Ivan. This storyline/timeline. This point of view. This dream.

Or so it seems, right now.

Once there is no perspective left; awareness is all there is. Nothing is.

And it can take on any form, indeed.

So I would say it impossible for me to continue the unconscious cycle of dying as an old man and being reborn as a newborn; baby. 

That can, through my current view and understandings, happen only if one dies unaware of oneself. 

Unconscious reproduction does not seem like an option, either.

Hope I did not miss your point, again 

Cheers!

@ivankiss thank you very much! 

No, you didn't miss my point. You hit my point with a sledgehammer this time, the sledgehammer of awareness! LOL 

 

So I would say it impossible for me to continue the unconscious cycle of dying as an old man and being reborn as a newborn; baby. 
That can, through my current view and understandings, happen only if one dies unaware of oneself. 

I agree with this 100% ^^^^ based on my understanding. 
That's what I mostly say that if one dies without discovering and knowing his/her/its true nature, then whatever their understanding/expectation at the point of death would be is what/how she/he/it will reincarnate/ be reborn as.

 

And once it is seen, that you are/were always watching the movie of your life being played infront of you... and it's not just a movie about Ivan/SoonHei... but just a moive. Then there are just eternal movies/stories/dream thereafter...

How amazing and blissful is that... FOR THE TRUE SELF.

This SoonHei is just happy knowing that... because right now, the same awarness which will awaken/ be self-realised is the one who thinks it is SoonHei... So I express my gratitude via and as SoonHei... knowing that I am not SoonHei  

[ivankiss]

@SoonHei Well thank you, SoonHei 

I really like how you put that.

I'd add to that by saying; it is your movie, actually. It is not just a movie. That would imply separation, again. 

Every other movie that possibly exits is also your movie. There is no other movie you could watch  But there are infinite versions, genres and lenghts of movies. Which both are you and about you. It can be no other way.

However, one cannot possibly be free while identifying with the main character in the movie, solely. Be it Ivan, SoonHei, or any other. The movie is centered around the character for a reason. 

This whole journey/movie is both personal as it can possibly get and completely impersonal as well. One can choose how to look at it.

Watch whatever movie you like. Enjoy it. Watch other movies. Enjoy those.

Now you know you created them all. And they are all telling you one thing; this is a movie about you. It is about love; life and death.

 

 

 

[ivankiss]

@Mikael89 You are enlightened, brother.

You just think you are not.

You do not have to go to work. You choose to.

You do not have to slit your wrists to end suffering, but you can choose to.

Waking up can be rough and rude.

But would it be really easier to fall back asleep, now that your one eye is already open?

You are already all there is, Mikael.

You just fight so hard to proove to youself otherwise. Only you know why.

Relax. Breathe. You already made it. You exist. That's as good as it can get, really. It is a miracle. Embrace it.

Whatever you do is your choice. Choose something that will make you happy.

Love.

Edited January 26, 2019 by ivankiss

[DrewNows]

@ivankissi like your creative clever way at expressing what it means "to be" 

@SoonHeifrom what i interpreted, the trap he discusses in this would be to stop living as Soonhei and start identifying as awareness, falling into the illusion of truth. Beauty, excitement, thrill all come in the 'not knowing' 

 

The only thing one can know for certain is that they are not who or what they 'think' they are....

Edited January 26, 2019 by DrewNows

[Aaron p]

I WANT TO BE A NONDUAL BEING!!! fuck sake

[Highest]

There is also nothing really wrong with being in the ego sometimes here and now, it is part of the individual which doesn't necessarily need extinction. It has it's place in existence.God is not ''immanent in everything'', God is literally everything, every single particle and atom in it, every single thing that is in existence. So why do we put such a bad reputation to it? Because we speak from a a place of duality, in non-duality there is no ego ultimately, it's just God being what we call the ego, which I have been directly aware of. It is only from a place of duality that you think ''I'' am writing this, when in fact there could be none other than God itself. So indeed, nothing is wrong with the ego ultimately,  it's not a mistake, it's just... God. 

Edited January 26, 2019 by Highest

[Forestluv]

@Highest  ♥️ ? 

[ivankiss]

@Mikael89 If it was beautiful and full of happiness; would it bother you how long it last? Would you not want it to be long; last forever, even?

Life is enlightenment. There is no need to search outside of life. There is no outside.

It's just that you probably have a misaligned definition of how exactly enlightenment is supposed to look/be like.

Drop those. Be Mikael. He is enlightened. Be the truest version of him. No matter what you choose to do. 

Or don't. By no means do I want to make you believe me anything. Just trying to help a brother out, for the sake of it.

Good luck!

@DrewNows Thank you; you put that nicely. 

I agree with your elaboration. There is no need to identify, folks. Just be undefinable. Be free. Be you.

@Aaron p Please, join in. By ni means I want to be the only one. Would be no fun to live forever alone 

@Highest Exactly! Demonizing the idea of an ego should get boring and non-sensical, sooner or later.

All there is is all there is. Excluding anything, even just an idea, would make it be all there is except for that idea; simply so.

Still duality. Big time.

Still delusion. Still no peace. Still seperation. That is; the illusion of those things.

I like to look at the ego as a project. As a story. An idea, which you can keep working on and perfecting forever. You can also, however, throw it into the recycle bin, if you conclude the project is a faliure. You can start a brand new project. You can erase the idea and come up with a new one. And you do not have to do that by slitting your wrists. You can do it by simply letting go of the idea.

I, however, totally dig this idea of mine. Project Ivan is getting better and better 

Ultimately though, as said before, this point of view is exactly that; a point of view. A perspective. Could be any other view and any other name.

Much love to ya'all.

[SoonHei]

@ivankiss <3 <3 bless up

love you too

keep doing your thing

[Charlotte]

Great thread to read ❤️

[ivankiss]

@Charlotte Great forum/community to be a part of  ❤️

@SoonHei Rock on!  ❤️

Edited January 27, 2019 by ivankiss

[Jack Walter Leon]

On 26.1.2019 at 1:33 PM, ivankiss said:

You have free will; for God's sake! Use it, now!

What's your say on Leo's assumption that free will is an illusion and that this realization is one of the core beliefs of enlightenment? What do you think has he misunderstood?