How to deal with a bad breakup?

[FredFred]

My girlfriend of 4 years and I left each others at the beginning of the week. I feel absolutely and utterly miserable. I don't know how to deal with the situation.

Actually she left me more than I left her. We both knew that our relationship had been on neutral for a while, but I still had hopes that things would change for the better whereas she didn't. Of course there was things that bothered me in our relationship, but at the deepest level I knew this girl was worth it. You'd ask me right now if I'd want to spend the rest of my life with her and I'd say yes. She was beautiful, kind, very intelligent, everything I'd want in a girl.

I feel destroyed right now. I miss her so much, I'd do anything to get her back. I got tears in my eyes half the time. I try to be mindful of my situation, take deep breaths but it's changing jack shit. I feel alone and anxious. I don't know what to do.

I feel pathetic even making this thread right now. How do I get out of this mess?

[bejapuskas]

If you keep whining, there will eventually be someone, who will kick you hard enough for you to realize, that you have to move on.

[Marinus]

I also broke up recently. I don't feel as bad, but what helps with most of my problems is putting things in perspective. Try to see the bigger picture of your situation and beyond that situation. At the moment It might feel as a bubble of you and her, this bubble is small, their is a whole world around that bubble try to see that world.

Good luck!

[ExodiaGearCEO]

Bro, relax. Your crying over a female. Yes, I understand you guys were together and it felt like true love. You are in a illusion and you are to attached to her and you seem alittle needy. If she broke up with you. That is telling you something about the relationship that made her want to break up with you?  My advice is to cut this ex out of your life and never text her again. Start to focus on your life and keep doing personal development. Eventually, you will be over her and meet a new girl in your life. Did you watch Leo video about getting over a break up? He said “NEVER GO BACK TO YOUR EX” I had to learn that the hard way. You will be fine man.

[Cepzeu]

Give it time, you've been together for 4 years and it's hard to go alone all of a sudden. Give it time man, I wish you well 

[universe]

Accept the feelings you have right now. Dont try to overcome them. Embrace them fully. They want to be felt, they are there for a reason. See what they want to tell you! Then they will eventually pass.

[Consept]

Just broke up recently as well and i kind of got an insight while we were dating and that is that this whole a relationship is all we need to be happy is bullshit man. I kind of knew this before but recently its really hit me, the importance is built up by media, rom coms, society etc to make you feel like its so important and that its the solution to all your troubles but honestly its not in anyway and can cause a lot of problems in fact.

Thats not to say that you cant have good relationships because you definitely can but only when you realise that theyre not the be all and end all, in other words being able to let go of them if need be. Of course youll hurt now but what youre hurting over is not necessarily all about losing her, its also the fear of going into the unknown, but there are many benefits of this. When youre with someone you have to put them into consideration and you cant really focus on yourself and what you need, thats ok if you dont have any issues or are fairly content as you are by yourself, but if you do like most it can just be a distraction from those issues rather than a solution. Some are happy to distract for the rest of their life even of the relationship isnt that good as you might have done, so theres pros and cons on both sides but take this time to be alone and use it wisely 

[Spence94]

@Consept Thanks bro. I just broke up with my girl of year and a half and you hit the nail on the head?

 

 

[FredFred]

Thank you everyone for your replies

I'm feeling better now. I simply think it was the emotions kicking in when I wrote the post. I still feel bad sometimes but it's nowhere near the level of last Wednesday.

[bejapuskas]

@FredFred The greater the suffering, the bigger the potential to grow  

[Truth Addict]

@FredFred

Don't feel pathetic, most guys went through the same experience.

You're attached to her because you trained your mind unconsciously to do that, and now you think that she's someone so special, while all that's only happening in your mind.

There are more than a million girls in the world. Why do you think she's special?

It's not the end of the world. You will find another one, eveyone does.

[LordFall]

@FredFred How are you doing now my man? I'm about to go through a breakup myself and I feel like utter shit already, hopefully, it got better for you. 

[FredFred]

On 2/26/2019 at 7:45 PM, LordFall said:

@FredFred How are you doing now my man? I'm about to go through a breakup myself and I feel like utter shit already, hopefully, it got better for you. 

I'm doing alright. It's mostly ups and downs. Downs aren't quite as challenging as it was in the beginning, but still hard enough to shake me up a little. I'll make it through, everybody does.

Thank you for checking on me, I appreciate it a lot more than you might think  

Don't hesitate to contact me it things get rough on your side, I'll be here if you need someone to talk to.