naturally tripping?

[Vaishnavi]

Just to give you a little background, I.. have been going through a kind of an emotional detox lately, its been long actually. Digging in the past, uncovering traumatic (otherwise considered normal) events, learning more about myself and my not knowing, crying my guts out and giving expression to pent up rage and resentment, trying to meditate and bringing awareness to my dissociation, yes things have been heavy. 

But as the “detox” continues, I also am more in touch with my genuine needs, practising healthier expression and being more accepting of all that’s me. 

Except, lately I’ve also been.. tripping, but on my own, which is a bit freaky. Would I really call it tripping? Probably no cause its not intense and I with effort can distract myself from the experience.

I've never been on psychedelics or even alcohol. Have always been a highly sensitive child though and experience heavy dissociation. 

Pareidolia (seeing faces in ordinary objects or literally anywhere) has always been intense for me, and lately has gone all the more pompous and overwhelming; a curtain, a cloud, effing grass! you name it. 

There is enhanced pattern recognition, I mean its difficult to look at my sofa set (with geometrical designs on) or the home tiles straight for more than a minute for then I’m experiencing flowing and melting, but more pronounced is the visual of breathing, like a heart pumping. My sofa set literally goes like this wall- https://vimeo.com/21240204

 

I’m just curious. Anyone else ever had a similar experience?

 

[Aakash]

in my opinion, your realities breaking down. its almost like your envisioning reality where a straight line isn't a straight line but bent . or a surface isn't a surface its curved into a face shape. what do you think of what i've said?

[Wisebaxter]

I'm not entirely sure why you're experiencing these things, but I'd like to just say well done for doing all that hardcore shadow work. 

[Charlotte]

Following for further info.

[DrewNows]

i have experienced similar appearance recontexualization phenomena (not sure what id call it) but your emotions get wrapped in the whole sensation of seeing. I might go as far to say this is the result of a disconnect from reality as we think we know it.

For me it was a phase and not something I’d had recently. It was probably about 1 year after my first and only mushroom trip 

 

Edited January 23, 2019 by DrewNows

[Wisebaxter]

1 hour ago, Vaishnavi said:

its difficult to look at my sofa set (with geometrical designs on) or the home tiles straight for more than a minute for then I’m experiencing flowing and melting, but more pronounced is the visual of breathing, like a heart pumping.

Its funny you should say that as I've been experiencing this for the last few months. When I stare at patterns for long enough they start melting. First of all I put it down to detoxing from weed, but I don't think it's that. The other day it was really intense, almost the same as on an actual trip. Glad I'm not the only one. Maybe it's what @Aakash said, that reality is breaking down, perhaps as a result of spiritual practices? 

[Aakash]

its pretty normal in this line of work, all kinds of things will break down in your pursuit for the truth. I had one where i hallucinated completely a flower, and i was on nothing 

[Nahm]

@Vaishnavi Doin the work. Nice. It’s the release of endorphins from the detox. Your inherent nature of healing and happiness. Your brain’s getting upgraded too. The parts of you that were rejected aren’t and you’re experiencing your wholeness. Keep rockin. 

[DoubleYou]

Back when I was depressed I used to hallucinate a lot. Mostly at night right before falling asleep or after waking up. Not really comparable to psychedelics. More lifelike strange enough.

If you're sensitive to it, emotional purging brings out the weirdest shit. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. It's probably a good sign.  

Also, I would recommend (if you're not already doing this) a creative hobby. That's where hallucination actually really comes in handy

[Vaishnavi]

11 hours ago, Aakash said:

in my opinion, your realities breaking down. its almost like your envisioning reality where a straight line isn't a straight line but bent . or a surface isn't a surface its curved into a face shape. what do you think of what i've said?

it makes sense. i've always had this feeling of things not being real and me missing out on something right in front of me, like being blindfolded but i can still sense that something's there. Changes in perception and not being able to process things (which i'm going through) obviously threatens your foundation of knowing and reality so yea like you said, almost envisioning reality to be in some way when its not and now you're starting to see through that, make sense. Thanks for wording it well, its comforting. 

@Wisebaxter @Nahm sometimes you need that encouragement even if you don't consciously acknowledge it so thanks!

10 hours ago, DoubleYou said:

If you're sensitive to it, emotional purging brings out the weirdest shit. I wouldn't worry too much about it though. It's probably a good sign.  

Also, I would recommend (if you're not already doing this) a creative hobby. That's where hallucination actually really comes in handy

i don't mind them really, its just a new experience, something I'm not used to the reason why it got a bit freaky. The mystical, the MAGICAL! the unknown and all the possibilities that reality holds has always fascinated me and yes, these changes in perceptions and states have their perks, i'm starting to explore them