I embarrassed myself really bad at party

[Daffcio]

Hello everyone. I don't think that this forum is the best for that kind of topic, but i did something pathetic and I don't know where i can find help to solve it. So, here's story.

I'm underage, i will be of age in month. Few days ago i've been on a party. There were like 40 people in there. I know maybe half of them. I drank earlier alcohol and to be honest sometimes i was able to drink a lot. But this time i drank too much and too fast.
After 2 hours i was so drunk that i faint and vomit all over my t-shirt. I remember only glimpses of it. My friends called my parents to take me home. First of all i did the next day i called my friend whom organized that party and apologized to him for my pathetic behavior and making trouble and i want to help him clean that place where party was. He said that's okay and nobody is angry at me for that and it could happend to everybody. I was relivied for few minutes but i'm still embarrassed and angry at myself. I've never felt so bad in my whole life. Right now i have free week of school but i'm scared of looking in my friends eyes after this and being judged. I'm aware of mistake I've done and i'm completly responsible for that. So i have a questions:

How to stop feeling this 'bad' emotions?

How can i use this to grow myself?

How should i handle judgment from my school friends?

(Also english is not my first language so sorry for any errors)

[Sahil Pandit]

@Daffcio laugh at yourself and own it entirely.

[NoSelfSelf]

Embrace vurneability...

[UDT]

Daffico!

1. Nice move of you to call your friend, good job!

2. Congratulations! That is a chance to grow. How? Well 1) You gonna use alcohol more wisely from now on 2) you have a funny story to tell 

2b. Judgements from your friends are tests if you are a man and can stand up for yourself. A good response to judgements would be something like:
      " Haha yes I know man I fucked myself up at that party, man I couldnt even remember half of that night, what a blow out. I´m not gonna do that
       again I can tell you."

3. Don´t think this is going to matter 6 months from now, so don´t worry. Your perspective is to narrow at the moment, but that is natural. Your friends are the most important things in your life at that age. Normal! Don´t let them bully you, show you are a man, that you have the balls to openly talk about your mistakes and move on.

4. You don´t stop feeling the bad emotions. Because the bad emotions are there for a reason! Use them to change your behavior for the better. Growth = Pain.

 

Good Luck! If you want to talk about it more , write me a message.

[nightrider1435]

You'd be surprised that no one really cares. It is fine man, seriously, don't sweat it. Most of us have been there before. 

[TheAvatarState]

3 hours ago, Daffcio said:

First of all i did the next day i called my friend whom organized that party and apologized to him for my pathetic behavior and making trouble and i want to help him clean that place where party was.

Wow, this was very mature of you! Good for you.

It's important to recognize that you're human and that we all make mistakes. The only real mistake is to beat yourself up too much over making them. That is to be in denial of your nature, which can cause uneasiness and anxiety. The first step is to love and accept yourself for who you are, flaws and everything. If you think about it, it is how we act after our flaws that really defines our character. Take a good look at anyone you admire and respect. Do you look up to him/her because they seem perfect? If you're honest with yourself, you'll see that you respect them for how they handled their weaknesses. Their humility, and their ability to move forward and learn. If someone is able to handle a fall with grace, then know that they could only do that after MANY not-so-graceful falls. A perfect human being doesn't exist, and honestly that would make them really boring! Learn to laugh at yourself.

4 hours ago, Daffcio said:

How to stop feeling this 'bad' emotions?

You are asking the wrong question. You cannot control your emotions, realize that first. So, you might ask, what can be done?

It is actually your identification with this emotion, and your labeling it as "bad," that has caused this suffering.

Labeling your emotions as "bad," again, is to be in denial of your true nature. It is to label yourself as "bad" and that obviously has led to a downward spiral. This is simply not true! Hating yourself for things you can't control is quite neurotic and counter-productive. Instead, what if you were to fully feel your emotions without this projection of negativity? Without attachment? What might that look like?

Right now, you identify with the emotion and you say, "I am sad. I am depressed." When you do this, you allow yourself to be consumed by it because you believe you are this emotion. This emotion doesn't seem to go away BECAUSE you believe you are it! Do you see how this works?

Instead, try to shift your perspective to, "I am that which feels sadness in this moment, but this too shall pass like a wave." Imagine yourself in the ocean during a storm. Your perspective right now is of someone swimming at the surface, and the experience is quite violent and energy draining. You don't know how much longer you can take the huge waves and the torrential rain... The mental shift I'm talking about is to dive under the surface a few feet. You can hear the rain and feel the undulating waves, but it's much more peaceful. And don't worry, in this magical ocean metaphor you're able to breathe under the surface. This doesn't mean all your emotions are subdued, and that you'll never be able to feel the good ones with the same vigor... Quite the opposite. The surface you were swimming at was rage, anger, and anxiety. A struggle. The ocean itself, you'll find, is love and consciousness. Surrender to it.

4 hours ago, Daffcio said:

How can i use this to grow myself?

You're doing it already, more than you're currently aware of.

4 hours ago, Daffcio said:

How should i handle judgment from my school friends?

Remember what I said about the people you admire... It is how you handle yourself after your mistakes that define you. And please don't do this for your friends, do it for yourself so you can feel good. I understand the instinct to worry about how your friends view you. But it turns out that worrying backfires, because what you and your friends really respect is someone strong, independent, and not needy. Focusing your attention outward to your friends for confirmation actually causes a downward loop, because your friends are looking at how you view yourself. Really think this through. The people you'd like to hang out with lead from the heart, lead from within.     

[Forestluv]

@TheAvatarState Well said ? ♥️ 

[TheAvatarState]

@Serotoninluv  I came up with the ocean metaphor on the fly and rolled with it lol... and the more I thought about it, the more it made sense. If the ocean is love and consciousness, then the turbulent area where the ocean meets the air is really just love! Because anger, fear, and hate are all really just love misinterpreted from a narrow perspective. Love manipulated by the ego. Love interpreted from the duality of ocean and air.

Perhaps I'm reaching here, but I thought it was profound.  

[Forestluv]

@TheAvatarState That is some nice imagery. My right brain is loving it ?

[Daffcio]

@TheAvatarState Thanks for that. I really appreciate it. I think it will help me a lot.

@UDT Thanks also for your statement. It was comforting.

 

[K VIL]

@Daffcio I wouldn't worry about it. As a person who does not drink, I wouldn't think much of it? maybe light weight or you went a bit overboard.

Would i think less of you? Na. Your peers prob don't either except for the person who cleaned it...

[Shadowraix]

Everybody else pretty much nailed it but man that stuff happens all the time. 

I've had drunk friends cry on my leg about their home life. 

I've had drunk friends stumble around and me have to carry them half naked to the bathroom. 

I've been the drunk friend that passes out and vomits on the floor as people try to make sure I don't choke then gets carried to a bathtub. 

I've been that drunk friend that vomits all over the couch. 

Anybody with experience with alcohol will probably have been on both sides like I have. And that's why it is no problem. Because all of us understand. And through that you look out for one another. 

Yeah you'll get a few prods over your funny drunk stories but you aren't the first or the last who will have such memorable nights. 

[Mu_]

On 1/21/2019 at 5:47 PM, Daffcio said:

Hello everyone. I don't think that this forum is the best for that kind of topic, but i did something pathetic and I don't know where i can find help to solve it. So, here's story.

I'm underage, i will be of age in month. Few days ago i've been on a party. There were like 40 people in there. I know maybe half of them. I drank earlier alcohol and to be honest sometimes i was able to drink a lot. But this time i drank too much and too fast.
After 2 hours i was so drunk that i faint and vomit all over my t-shirt. I remember only glimpses of it. My friends called my parents to take me home. First of all i did the next day i called my friend whom organized that party and apologized to him for my pathetic behavior and making trouble and i want to help him clean that place where party was. He said that's okay and nobody is angry at me for that and it could happend to everybody. I was relivied for few minutes but i'm still embarrassed and angry at myself. I've never felt so bad in my whole life. Right now i have free week of school but i'm scared of looking in my friends eyes after this and being judged. I'm aware of mistake I've done and i'm completly responsible for that. So i have a questions:

How to stop feeling this 'bad' emotions?

How can i use this to grow myself?

How should i handle judgment from my school friends?

(Also english is not my first language so sorry for any errors)

Ya nothing really needs to be said.  Its understood and is bound to happen when you party.  Really, REALLY, its no big deal AT ALL.  Don't distance yourself for something that people will one day tell a great story about you and say remember that one time you drank so much passed out and puked.   Happens ALL THE FUCKING TIME. 

Seriously just laugh it off.

[Gabriel Antonio]

Ain't that a relief? So the sooner you get yourself out of that guilt trip you're in, the better. 

[Divingdeeper]

nothing serious mate. but the fact that you feel that way , is telling that you have to work on inner belief system