How do i stop demonizing?

[ShugendoRa]

I always demonize. Its unhealthy. I need some guidance here guys. When i go outside everyone I either judge, demonize, or belittle. I got it from my parents I just accept it and just let it go. But theres something deeper, I just cant put my finger in it. Self hatred? Attachment? I mean its gotten better I remember I used to get mad and emotionally trigger. Now its just the thought that comes up somtimes the feeling comes up too. But its mostly my thought that annoyes me. Im demonizing and judging mentally but the feeling is little or nothing. Is this a subconscious or like a past lives if you believe in it. Just in a rut 

[EvilAngel]

@ShugendoRa You're judging yourself for judging others. Maybe this is the root of your problem - you judge yourself initially and that is the reason you judge others.

[Nahm]

Do whatever you want with the land, the animals, etc He said, just don’t eat from the tree of knowledge of good & evil. 

What do you make of that ol school wisdom?

Why would it be in the first chapter, right outta the gate?

[Sahil Pandit]

@ShugendoRa Make a 1-3 month commitment to watch yourself like a hawk when you judge.

Don't try to stop, just focus on remaining aware as it happens.

See it, note it, watch its tendencies and patterns.

What are the patterns that it keeps you in?

Does your eye start twitching? Do your eyes start to feel itchy?

Become aware of these, and you will make huge leaps to overcoming it.

This is how i eliminated 60% of my unnecessary judgements. 

[SOUL]

Do it by removing all reference to the dualism of good and evil from the mindset. With the casual terminology one uses refrain from saying something is 'good' or 'bad' even in respect to personally as 'for me'. Remove it from the mindset as completely as one can and eventually the judging nature will fade away from one's perspective when viewing everything including others.

[Forestluv]

37 minutes ago, SOUL said:

With the casual terminology one uses refrain from saying something is 'good' or 'bad' even in respect to personally as 'for me'. 

So true. For years, I used the “for me” add-on to veil my judgement of other people. 

[SOUL]

10 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

So true. For years, I used the “for me” add-on to veil my judgement of other people. 

Yes, it continues to empower the good and evil paradigm which will find it's way into every way view things internally and externally.

Edited January 22, 2019 by SOUL

[TheAvatarState]

@ShugendoRa if you were fully conscious of all the ways you judge, you'd stop. You've barely scratched the surface here; your ego is still hiding a lot from you, and that's why it has been able to convince you to not take this as seriously as you should. Every judgment is an act of separation which serves to strengthen your ego. So every time you do, you give power to the very thing you're trying to stop. Can the cycle be broken? Yes, over lots of time and energy. Consciousness is the key. 

[Forestluv]

38 minutes ago, TheAvatarState said:

@ShugendoRa if you were fully conscious of all the ways you judge, you'd stop. You've barely scratched the surface here; your ego is still hiding a lot from you, and that's why it has been able to convince you to not take this as seriously as you should. Every judgment is an act of separation which serves to strengthen your ego. So every time you do, you give power to the very thing you're trying to stop. Can the cycle be broken? Yes, over lots of time and energy. Consciousness is the key. 

Well said. 

The judgement devil loves to hide in the shadows of the mind. ? 

[DrewNows]

6 hours ago, EvilAngel said:

@ShugendoRa You're judging yourself for judging others. Maybe this is the root of your problem - you judge yourself initially and that is the reason you judge others.

This is a good point. Not only can we observe how we judge others but to see how it relates to ourselves. It’s good to explore what sort of compassion we hold for ourselves 

@SOULhow to go about removing all references of good and bad? Whether they are vocalized or not is beside the point.  Are they not thoughts and can we control these thoughts? 

[lmfao]

@ShugendoRa why must you demonise the part of you that demnises? 

[Gabriel Antonio]

4 hours ago, Sahil Pandit said:

@ShugendoRa Make a 1-3 month commitment to watch yourself like a hawk when you judge.

I think this may be counterproductive in the case of the OP. 

 

As it was said above by @EvilAngel, the worst type of demonizing is meta-demonizing. That is, to demonize your own demonizing. Don't pay so much attention to those thoughts. 

One thing that can also help is having a strong bond with someone -- who you can cuddle, have a good time with. In my experience, judgement comes from lack of love. When my emotional bank account is positive, judgement simply doesn't come up. 

But remember: you can't stop judgement with more judgement. If you guilt yourself from doing it, you're only doubling the problem. 

[Anton Rogachevski]

@ShugendoRa

You could say that you can't in fact, since thoughts are an automatic phenomenon which isn't under your conscious cotrol. You can however, have pseudo-control through letting go and helping god to help you.

Judging is your way to not look at your own shadow. (Denial) You don't see that you have a potential for darkness which is a part of you. Love yourself completely.

Also curative awareness and prayer might help. Try to practice the Hoʻoponopono method for relieving hatred and freeing the flow of unconditional love.

Edited January 22, 2019 by Anton Rogachevski

[Jack River]

1 hour ago, DrewNows said:

SOULhow to go about removing all references of good and bad? Whether they are vocalized or not is beside the point.  Are they not thoughts and can we control these thoughts? 

Are these references of good and bad one and the same as the the controller? 

Edited January 22, 2019 by Jack River

[TheAvatarState]

1 hour ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

I think this may be counterproductive in the case of the OP. 

 

As it was said above by @EvilAngel, the worst type of demonizing is meta-demonizing. That is, to demonize your own demonizing. Don't pay so much attention to those thoughts. 

That's what your ego wants you to think, in order to avoid doing the challenging work. In order to demonize your original demonization, you actually have to become aware of and call out your demonizing. This might seem negative at first, but awareness is the key to overcoming. Even this path, while not ideal, would eventually self-correct as you continue to call out various demonizations you weren't conscious of before. Eventually you'll form a map of how you demonize, and that raising of consciousness will eventually be able to call out the meta-demonizations, and you'll stop demonizing altogether.

However, while this is certainly a risk, it isn't ideal and can actually be avoided by arming yourself with the expectation that you'll meta-demonize. Practice merely being the watcher, with no attachment to your thought patterns. Practice self-love and acceptance throughout the process.

Think of it like watching TV... a bad soap opera, if you will. Your mind is going to try to pull you in and get you emotionally involved in the story. Don't. Just watch and learn.

Edited January 22, 2019 by TheAvatarState

[Gabriel Antonio]

3 minutes ago, TheAvatarState said:

Think of it like watching TV... a bad soap opera, if you will. Your mind is going to try to pull you in and get you emotionally involved in the story. Don't. Just watch and learn.

Wait, what? Why would I watch a crappy soap opera? I’d rather change the channel. 

Earlier in my path, I got fixated on judgement. I would micromanage myself. “Omg, I’m judging. Wait I’m judging my judgement. Shit, I’m such a bad spiritual person. I shouldn’t judge! Fuck! I’m judging myself once again.” And so on, and so forth. 

What I’ve realized is that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to ignore it.

I was never able to follow the typical Buddhist-like advice of “just observe it”. Whenever I tried to observe my thoughts, I’d actually produce more thoughts. Maybe my awareness muscle is weak.

But anyway, since I started to connect more with people (or, in New Age terms, “open my heart chakra”), I naturally judge less. And when it does happen, I don’t freak out. I allow myself to feel that way and I do something relaxing, a stress-relief type of thing. Then, boom... the hyper-judging is gone.

[TheAvatarState]

2 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

What I’ve realized is that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to ignore it.

I don't think you actually believe this. How did you notice that you started judging less? You had to be aware of it, no?

What you do believe, is that sometimes the best way to deal with a problem is to gain a new perspective on it, to come at it with a different angle. By gaining new perspectives by connecting with new people, you expanded your identity and gained new insights into yourself. THIS is actually the mechanism behind why you started naturally judging less, and it's the same mechanism I'm talking about. All it is is observation! "Other" is the direct reflection of "self." That's all you've been doing. If you really want to take your awareness to the next level though, try coming back to direct observation of the self. Perhaps you're more ready to take on that direct perspective now.

12 minutes ago, Gabriel Antonio said:

Wait, what? Why would I watch a crappy soap opera? I’d rather change the channel. 

It was just a metaphor. It is YOUR crappy soap opera, and when you bring awareness to it, it will slowly evolve into your dream movie. That's the beauty of it! I actually thought my beginning soap opera was fascinating, then hilarious, and my movie has since turned into a roaring comedy!   

[Gabriel Antonio]

@TheAvatarState

Fuck soap opera. I rather watch Avatar  

[TheAvatarState]

@Gabriel Antonio word 

[SOUL]

3 hours ago, DrewNows said:

how to go about removing all references of good and bad? Whether they are vocalized or not is beside the point.  Are they not thoughts and can we control these thoughts? 

Well, we don't really control thoughts or even try, they are spontaneously generated by the brain in the mind. In the moment as the mind creates the judgment calls in the various ways it does we can just cease to endorse them. We aren't empowering that belief system of judgment so creating a presence of nonjudgment in the here and now.

Abide in that and eventually the mind only reflects the belief paradigm of nonjudgment so joins in harmony with our awareness of being nonjudgment presence in the here and now. So we aren't controlling thoughts, it's just creating the state of being in the present moment and eventually the mind comes into agreement with presence.

Edited January 22, 2019 by SOUL