The need to be loved

[EvilAngel]

Leo, in some of your videos you say that we should be able to be happy without needing to be loved, but I just don't see how this is true. An infant who is not cradled and shown sufficient attention will die. I really wish I wasn't dependent on others for my happiness, but the reality is that I am. 

I've been sitting alone accessing "the Now", but it only does so much. "The Now" can't bring you a cup of tea or tell you a joke. You can't get a hug from "the Now". Do you see what I mean?

[Jack River]

An I resists what-is

An I resists now

An I resists love

An I IS and depends on conditions. 

What-is/Love/the now is not dependent upon conditions 

The I (time) denies what-is/love/THE NOW

42 minutes ago, EvilAngel said:

I really wish I wasn't dependent on others for my happiness, but the reality is that I am. 

We tend to wish/hope things were other than they are. Is it necessary to have this preference?

Is this not to a self imposed condition the self imposes on itself in which freedom is denied to stay with what-is? 

Does this not prevent love/what-is/now? 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Jack River

[NoSelfSelf]

Depended on others for your happiness? Oh man thats a recipe for miserable needy fearful life...

Edited January 21, 2019 by NoSelfSelf

[EvilAngel]

@NoSelfSelf OK, so tell me, how long can YOU spend alone, with no interaction whatsoever, not even the internet? I'd love to hear how you manage...

[Jack River]

Dependence is isolation/alienation  

Aloneness is relationship/communion

[ajasatya]

1 minute ago, EvilAngel said:

@NoSelfSelf OK, so tell me, how long can YOU spend alone, with no interaction whatsoever, not even the internet? I'd love to hear how you manage...

there is a thin line when we say "don't depend on others to be happy".

what we actually mean is that you shouldn't expect or try to manipulate people to please you because that leads to more suffering. it's fine to hang out and have conversations with friends.

as i said on another thread created by you, company is a beautiful thing if you're able to appreciate people for who they truly are.

[EvilAngel]

6 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

there is a thin line when we say "don't depend on others to be happy".

what we actually mean is that you shouldn't expect or try to manipulate people to please you because that leads to more suffering.

No I am simply recognising that company is a basic human need. I'm not talking about manipulation or anything like that.

[EvilAngel]

9 minutes ago, Jack River said:

Dependence is isolation/alienation  

Aloneness is relationship/communion

That doesn't make sense. Care to explain?

[How to be wise]

@EvilAngel https://www.amazon.co.uk/Need-Your-Love-approval-appreciation-ebook/dp/B0031RS9TS/ref=dp_kinw_strp_2

[isabel]

5 minutes ago, How to be wise said:

@EvilAngel https://www.amazon.co.uk/Need-Your-Love-approval-appreciation-ebook/dp/B0031RS9TS/ref=dp_kinw_strp_2

is that you?

[Forestluv]

@EvilAngel Notice how much separation there is in your mind. “I need this. I am dependent on others. The Now won’t make me happy”. 

Observe the separation of that “me”. There is an idea in your mind of a separate “me” that needs external things outside of “me”. And you believe it. That is a source of the suffering. 

Without that thought dynamic, what would be the experience?

[NoSelfSelf]

@EvilAngel im not saying you should be alone im saying you shouldnt depend on others to make you happy you either make yourself happy=making your needs met,or you try to milk it from others usually threw manipulation like @ajasatya said not knowing you manipulate because you usually try to please others for yourself...and i could tell you that you now dont really have meaningful relationshipa because when you are needy people dont like it..they move from you..

[Jack River]

9 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@EvilAngel im not saying you should be alone im saying you shouldnt depend on others to make you happy you either make yourself happy=making your needs met,or you try to milk it from others usually threw manipulation like @ajasatya said not knowing you manipulate because you usually try to please others for yourself...and i could tell you that you now dont really have meaningful relationshipa because when you are needy people dont like it..they move from you..

What someone should or should not do is besides the point. The point is is one dependent on others or not, and is this fact of dependence seen as it is and not distorted by what we feel should be. 

If @EvilAngel sees that they are dependent and stays with that fact, well that is a great place to be. That is staying with what is and not escaping/resistance. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Jack River

[NoSelfSelf]

@Jack River thats self deception...thats opposite of growing and what this forum is about...with that thinking you are stuck...aceppting what is is ok but aceppting something thats not working is ignorance...

[Jack River]

Just now, NoSelfSelf said:

@Jack River thats self deception...thats opposite of growing and what this forum is about...with that thinking you are stuck...aceppting what is is ok but aceppting something thats not working is ignorance...

Anything that arises psychologically is what is and anything you do to change it, is self deception. 

Its a fundamental distortion of thought. 

You cannot modify anger to non anger, violence to non-violence etc. 

 

 

[Jack River]

Psychological growth/evolution is self deception and prevents change. 

This may sound confusing, but it is so. It’s not my opinion. 

If I am perpetually moving away from the fact of my antagonism to the opposite of that, I am constantly living a contradictory life. A life of hypocrisy/illusion. 

[Jack River]

Putting thought in its right place is essential. And psychologically thought(cultivation/progression/gradual effort) has no place. 

Psychologically acceptance or condemning prevents CHANGE. 

Edited January 21, 2019 by Jack River

[EvilAngel]

@Jack River I take it English is not your first language? Because your grammar is terrible.

[How to be wise]

@isabel of course not. I’m a great follower of her work though.

[Jack River]

3 minutes ago, EvilAngel said:

I take it English is not your first language? Because your grammar is terrible.

Point to this error if you would. Help a brotha out eh?