Depressed

[Enlightened]

16 hours ago, EvilAngel said:

I almost couldn't summon the energy or motivation to pick up my laptop and write this post. But here goes....I had an enlightenment experience 2 months ago, which was incredible, and for 10 days I was in a state of peace. I slept better than I had in ages and it was proper deep-sleep (no dreams) and I only needed a few hours and would wake up every day feeling refreshed. The enlightenment experience came after watching Leo's "Spiritual Enlightenment - The most shocking truth..." video. I felt I had cracked it, and that I was at one and that nothing could take this bliss away from me. I was so peaceful that I decided nothing mattered anymore, so I started smoking and drinking again, both of which I had abstained from for months. Things have gradually got worse and worse. I lost the peaceful feeling and now every day is filled with intense anxiety and depression (even suicidal thoughts). It's like I made a huge step forward (the enlightenment experience) and then gradually regressed, back to my old emotional/behavioural patterns. So these days I oversleep, and feel terrible about waking up...I just want to go back to sleep again rather than face a depressed/anxiety ridden day. When I do get up I often just want to drink alcohol to numb the pain and combat the intense loneliness. Today, "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle arrived through my door. I have read it several times before, and it certainly used to help me. But sometimes the present moment is full of suffering which has nothing to do with my mind - there is simply a feeling that exists that I can't seem to change, no matter how present I am. 

I know what you're all going to say, "just meditate" or "self inquire" and do the work. But sometimes I meditate for 3 hours straight and get no benefit. It's like I use up more energy by meditating than I would doing other daily activities, because the meditation is so uncomfortable.

Anyways, I hope you can help me, but I'm not optimistic about it.

Is this for real? Are you still with us? Can you message me. I need to talk at you.

[Gabriel Antonio]

On 21/01/2019 at 3:40 AM, Leo Gura said:

If it lasts for 3 months straight, okay, now maybe you should give it some serious consideration and stop meditation and seek some help.

3 months?? The standard recommendation to seek help is 2 weeks. 

[OneWithAll]

There's no such thing as depression. It is a concept in your egoic sense of self. Submit to the nothingness. What is wrong with just Being? No wants, no desires, no feelings. Just Be. You are wanting something that is an illusion. Stop the wanting.