Forewords: I have found that plugging 5-MeO-DMT oxalate required alot more substance for me to feel any effects from it. I plugged 35mg's.
My set and setting was really good, I did my morning routine and I wanted to keep on with my day until I found myself in the perfect setting to trip on 5-MeO, so I took the opportunity and I dont regret doing that. Even though I felt like I was supposed to do stuff, and I felt like "My ego was active and big", it didnt turn out to be a hindrance. I fasted for 36 hours prior to the experience (initially for health reasons).
I got okay with the fact that I was gonna die, and I felt excited for my death. I was full of energy, while I grounded up the 5-MeO and dissolved into the water.
After administration, I went and laid down comfortably on my bed with my limbs extended, opening myself up for any experience.
I felt fear during the comeup, and it really stung in my butt, I surrendered into the sensations. My heart started to pump faster
Suddenly, my awareness just shifted, and went up 10x to a peak meditative state, and this made me much more aware of my body and the body load. That made me start breathing more heavily and I felt just a little terror and fear coming up. I surrendered. I did also have some thoughts of like "this is it his is what I wanted" I felt satisfied with the level of awareness I experienced, but now after the trip I can definitely assure that this awareness could have gone much higher in terms of satisfaction.
I suddenly calmed down, and 15 minutes into it, the pain the my butt was subsided, all fear was gone, along with the heavy breathing and pumping heart. I was left with this surge of awareness, where I was constantly aware of all that was happening, I got aware of all the thoughts that came up. I felt a little more connected to everything, but there were no non-duality or ego death. The ego was definitely there, and it throwed me a very very compelling urge to jerk off, and so I did, while being very aware of it. The orgasm was so laughably different than what the craving displayed that I got this sense of liberation, which caused me to have amazing surge of masculine energy, I felt like I could do anything; I could plug another 60mg's, I could go run a marathon, lift a mountain etc.
This masculine energy probably came from an inner liberation that I sensed as I got this feeling of certainty that this craving will never be able to seduce me ever again! I felt very liberated that even though im struggling with nofap, and this relapse would make me feel guilty, I actually felt good, like "This was worth the experience, and why thehell should I cry over spilled milk? Lets move on with life!!"
I felt alive like never before, but this energy was not satisfying by any means, it was more like "I could do anything on order to get something, so by definition, the energy would not satisfy me.
I tried surrendering, I attempted meditation and self-inqury during the peak (I was fully able to move around, dont get me wrong), and I would have gone pretty deep unless I had this impatience to go do something, to release my energy, I ended up satisfying my hunger for food by eating a couple of pineapples.
Insights:
Taking care of the body is paramount, paramount in how you will feel in the body and what kinds of thoughts will be thrown at you. If the body is not properly taken care of, then doing personal development would be like trying to stop a flood with a towell. If the body is in its peak state, trancendence of the body will be much easier (This is counter-intuitive)
The key to release an addiction is to not think about it! If you think, crave it or fantasize about it, then you will attract it. When a thought of the addiction arises, sit with the thought, permeate it with your awareness until it disappears, but also make sure that you have your mind and thoughts directed at something elise! If you will have 10k thoughts arise during your day and you're a heroin addict, it would be much more beneficial for you to direct your resources at something thats worth working for, rather than just sitting on a couch and having all those thoughts be unavoidably focused on your addiction, as your not doing anything anyways. Its much easier to get rid of an addiction if what you are thinking about is actually not the addiction, rather how to live the best life possible. Permeate your thoughts with your purpose (by taking action on it!) while also letting go of thinking about your addiction until you wont have a single thought about the addiction anymore, and only then, it is transcended.
Yes, you can sit on the couch and let go of every single thought until there is no thought left = the addiction is gone, or;
You can permeate whatever thoughts you have with the purpose of authentic eudaemonia rather than hedonism, so that you stop thinking about your addiction = the addiction is gone.
Summary:
This experience was very beneficial, and I feel like I know the proper set and setting, the proper mindset and the proper way to surrender. Plugging was indeed very very smooth, I have now a new sense of how alive I can feel if I just think differently about life, and next time I will administer 45mg's the same way, expecting terror torture and death.