Sudden Meditation Insight Into The Fake Persona We Carry Around

[Azrael]

So, in my daily meditation today I had a sudden realization about our "self" that builds up over the years. I wanted to share that with you guys.

As we grow up as young kiddies we get confronted with linear systems of this society very early on. One of the most basic is right and wrong, up and down and so forth. However, we naturally tend to "wiggle" a lot, meaning that we behave in non-linear, sudden, intuitive and random ways that by definition get in conflict when being categorized by linear systems.

This wouldn't be a problem if we saw these systems as plays we tend to do "play" because we liked them like playing a musical instrument or theater. But what we do is that we take these linear-created games as fundamental in such a way that you could die if you don't play accordingly e. g. by death penalty in the US.

This problem I illustrated here can be mapped on everything you know and think intellectually. The main problem happens here: As we grow up as these young little kiddies we observe the seriousness of these games early on because we are being punished by our parents, friends (and later) the society if we don't play right.

This creates in the moment of wrong-doing a kind of fear that results into I think mainly two things: Firstly a need to use our thoughts to create a new reality that can be told to other people to conceal the "coming into critical contact with a linear system" so that we do not experience this bad feeling that parents, friends, society put on us.

Secondly, compulsive over-thinking and over-creating of this false reality to make it seem as real as it can be so that the strategy works out. Also, a need to come back to this reality and adjust it if needed. Basically: Over-thinking and being completely lost in fairy-tales.

Because fear is such a strong emotion it locks this reality and moment deep in our unconscious so that we now have a tool for the future to get away from more of these bad feelings if you come in contact with linear systems again.

And if you add this over-exaggerated example up over 10-14 years you built a strong sense of self that is apart from its original intuitive flowing state. You successfully created a fake persona.

Of course this is not the whole theory behind this, but just a seed that came suddenly today to me that I found quite true and interesting. Let me know what you think of it.

Cheers, Arik

PS: And that's really why to live in a cabin in the woods out in fuckin' Canada or join a Zen monastery. So that you limit these linear systems we tend to create with our ability to apprehend and experience a good amount of pure flowing, so that you can slowly come back to your original state and fully integrate this guy in your head that makes all the noise.

[cetus]

@Arik Sounds good to me. Cultural conditioning is a major factor. The culture you grew up in and the beliefs system too. Also the mind or brain seems pretty hard wired to this reality that is experienced every day. After a while you think that's all that exists as in what is happening in the world. Forgetting that there may be more to us on a subtle level. Reality can so easily over shadow that subtle self. From the time we wake to the time we sleep our whole world is made of man made stuff. I look around me and what do i see? All creations of mind. We live in an artificial existence. Not that there is anything wrong in that in itself. But it only adds or deepens the illusion. Most of my life I thought about living in a cabin in the wilderness. That's a hard life but well worth it. Once you did do that, I think you wouldn't want it any other way.

[Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj]

I think I understand what you are saying. Meditation can be a scary thing, you get conscious of all your personas, but in the end it's a good thing!

Yeasterday I became really conscious of some of my social conditioning. I was ashamed, felt unlovable and everything in that spectrum, I cried over it over 7 times yeasterday. This "I'm useless and unlovable persona" got up and did it's thing. Now I'm quite happy and my self esteem is back to normal.

Shinzen Young has talked about this a little bit here:

 

Edited April 14, 2016 by Sri McDonald Trump Maharaj

[MaxBlank]

@Arik I agree; and I would like to add some perspective. As a typical adult that desires enlightenment in the midst of daily life; at some point this fact will have to be dealt with directly. A person that is a parent, worker, and so on, will not easily be able to break from the day to day routine. Doing so is very unsettling, initially. Not only is there the inital adjustment for medititation, the results from that meditation can create a "stormy" state of being for a while. It is difficult to handle.

Also, my personal experience with this is that I found my wife initially supportive of the practice, but resistant to any results. She has no desire [or understanding] to change her course. My son, on the other hand, is more open to change; and I have found that I am better to impart my values [which are essentially Buddhist values] onto him simply because he is more open to learn. This is anecdotally supportive of what you are saying, ayway.

[Azrael]

@WarPants Thanks for your perspective! Makes a lot of sense to me.