Was this samadhi? + important lessons revealed

[kieranperez]

So I was at an art museum in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco and I usually have never been one that understood art that much and what certain paintings were portraying and what not. However, needed some inspiration the other day and decided to drop by. 

While most people were taking stupid selfies with pictures and all that stuff, I found myself totally engrossed in the painting and found myself in such deep absorption, meditation, and contemplation looking at and observing each painting. It was strange because I’ve never had this relationship with art. Suddenly though I found myself accessing new ways of thinking just through observation, beyond all mental language and traditional thought. It was like, if I just focused and opened up to the painting itself and wonder enough openly and paid enough attention and be curious of matters like “why is that dog painted here?” “Why is she looking down this way?” “Why is the painting portrayed in this way with this style of shading (or whatever you call it)?” I could literally feel, become conscious of, and learn what that painting is being portrayed. Then I’d go deeper and realize all of that was a fabrication by mind and contemplated deeper on that whole mechanism.

Then, as I’m going through the museum probably looking like I’m high on something since I was staring at these pieces of art so intensely, I was reading this description on the historical contexts on some paintaings. As I was reading, I become so engrossed and focused so effortlessly at what I was reading and of my awareness I literally dropped off. I wasn’t even blinking. I dropped off and literally became this unified awareness without location in yet I was one with everything in my awareness. Then all of a sudden the panel I was reading starting doing this subtle yet also radical infinite morphing. It was like the panel was zoom out to infinity while also zooming in for infinity. I literally felt like I was in a trance while having totally dropped off. Eventually, I started to come back in a little bit and I felt like I was probably looking like some deranged psychopath looking at this wall the way I was and felt like security was going to check on me and I walked off feeling like “what the fuck was that?...” 

I want to be clear: this lasted a couple of minutes maybe at best. I didn’t TOTALLY drop off in yet I also did... I’m starting to get why explaining this stuff is so impossible lol. 

This intense focus, trance like thing is also happening more... I don’t know why. It doesn’t happen in any of my meditation sits ever. My meditation is 20 minutes of me focusing on breath and struggling at best. All of this stuff happens if I just lock in scenarios if I’m walking around totally relaxed and i have that feeling of like “I can go all the way right now” and suddenly start to concentrate super deep or if I’m even just sitting down on the toilet or at a desk. The crazy part is that it’s effortless. That’s the really paradoxical part.

[ajasatya]

@kieranperez nice

yes, you can't do it. we practice zazen to learn how to give up.

[kieranperez]

3 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

yes, you can't do it. 

I can’t do what?

Btw, lessons and important insights:

•  Learning = observation is SO fucking powerful. If you go deep enough with this you can access now ways and modes of thinking that transcends all linguistic linear thought and tap into a true level of intuitive intelligence. This is a capacity you probably didn’t even know existed. I can’t explain this mechanism as it goes beyond language.
• Not knowing is super power. It’s really that simple as far as I’m concerned. Once you learn to REALLY not know and you see through all your accumulated “knowledge” and genuinely look at matters, questions, ANYTHING with fresh eyes like you’ve never noticed it before, you’re going to realize 1. How little you actually know, 2. Learning is infinite, and so much more. Not knowing will be like steroids for your current likely level of investigation. It also revitalizes your love for everything because you literally start seeing life like a child again. You break past all your accumulated bullshit and the wonder and mystery is back. You don’t know ANYTHING and it’s fucking beautiful when you genuinely get to that point. 

[ajasatya]

19 minutes ago, kieranperez said:

I can’t do what?

you can't achieve samadhi with effort

[cetus]

18 hours ago, ajasatya said:

you can't achieve samadhi with effort

@ajasatya I'll second that. When that magic happens it happens as if of it's own. Effort is futile as it actually works against it.

[kieranperez]

9 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

you can't achieve samadhi with effort

So to answer my question point blank, you think this wasn’t samadhi?

Edit: sorry I read that wrong. I thought you said I can’t achieve samadhi WITHOUT effort.

Edited January 17, 2019 by kieranperez

[Dodo]

42 minutes ago, kieranperez said:

So I was at an art museum in Golden Gate Park in San Francisco and I usually have never been one that understood art that much and what certain paintings were portraying and what not. However, needed some inspiration the other day and decided to drop by. 

While most people were taking stupid selfies with pictures and all that stuff, I found myself totally engrossed in the painting and found myself in such deep absorption, meditation, and contemplation looking at and observing each painting. It was strange because I’ve never had this relationship with art. Suddenly though I found myself accessing new ways of thinking just through observation, beyond all mental language and traditional thought. It was like, if I just focused and opened up to the painting itself and wonder enough openly and paid enough attention and be curious of matters like “why is that dog painted here?” “Why is she looking down this way?” “Why is the painting portrayed in this way with this style of shading (or whatever you call it)?” I could literally feel, become conscious of, and learn what that painting is being portrayed. Then I’d go deeper and realize all of that was a fabrication by mind and contemplated deeper on that whole mechanism.

Then, as I’m going through the museum probably looking like I’m high on something since I was staring at these pieces of art so intensely, I was reading this description on the historical contexts on some paintaings. As I was reading, I become so engrossed and focused so effortlessly at what I was reading and of my awareness I literally dropped off. I wasn’t even blinking. I dropped off and literally became this unified awareness without location in yet I was one with everything in my awareness. Then all of a sudden the panel I was reading starting doing this subtle yet also radical infinite morphing. It was like the panel was zoom out to infinity while also zooming in for infinity. I literally felt like I was in a trance while having totally dropped off. Eventually, I started to come back in a little bit and I felt like I was probably looking like some deranged psychopath looking at this wall the way I was and felt like security was going to check on me and I walked off feeling like “what the fuck was that?...” 

I want to be clear: this lasted a couple of minutes maybe at best. I didn’t TOTALLY drop off in yet I also did... I’m starting to get why explaining this stuff is so impossible lol. 

This intense focus, trance like thing is also happening more... I don’t know why. It doesn’t happen in any of my meditation sits ever. My meditation is 20 minutes of me focusing on breath and struggling at best. All of this stuff happens if I just lock in scenarios if I’m walking around totally relaxed and i have that feeling of like “I can go all the way right now” and suddenly start to concentrate super deep or if I’m even just sitting down on the toilet or at a desk. The crazy part is that it’s effortless. That’s the really paradoxical part.

There's something about the energy of your words here and on your next comment, that had me captivated and got a tiny taste of what you're talking about. Also I kept hearing a high pitch noise at the top of my head while reading and did not blink a lot. Very interesting 

[ajasatya]

we need discipline and effort to sit down and practice. but when we sit down we need to give up and let go.

it's kinda confusing at first but we get used to it after a few retreats.

[kieranperez]

46 minutes ago, Dodo said:

There's something about the energy of your words here and on your next comment, that had me captivated and got a tiny taste of what you're talking about. Also I kept hearing a high pitch noise at the top of my head while reading and did not blink a lot. Very interesting 

My energy costs 1 rolls Royce a piece. 

[Jack River]

Effort is an ingrained pattern/process of self. 

Any movement to be other than what is the case implies effort/resistance. 

Does effort end effort? 

Does moving in the groove of resistance put an end to resistance? 

[Jack River]

Conflict cannot modify itself out of itself. 

Freedom first. 

Understand conflict first. Until there is a holistic understanding of conflict, conflict will continue to fix/project it’s own limitation in time. 

Effort=conflict..and conflict is thought transcending it’s own limit perpetually. This is food for self/ego.