Question about truth for truth's sake

[Ecocotton]

I have noticed that the reason I want to know the truth, the existential nature of reality, is because I am fearful about what happens after death or in the future of my life. I want something to tell me that everything is alright and that there is nothing to fear, (you can't live life if you are afraid of death). The reason I want to know truth is coming more from fear then from curiosity. I am thinking that IF the answer is "bad" meaning that we come to a worse place after death, I don't want to know it, I would rather continue living in ignorance (ignorance is bliss) then know the truth if the truth is scary. 

Leo often says that we should pursue truth for truths sake, but why would we want to know if the truth is negative (or terrifying, horrible, horrific etc.)?

From everything I've heard, the truth seems to be positive but the point is that I don't know that yet since I am not enlightened and the main reason I am pursuing truth is because of fear. 

[tedens]

Helo. You will check it for Yourself by self inquiry path, if only You decide to. 

The answer isn't verbal, cause if it was... You just would know about it and there wasn't be such a question.

Edited January 17, 2019 by tedens

[Aakash]

@Ecocotton everyone has different reasons for pursuing enlightenment, however deciding its going to be good or bad before you've experienced it in your direct experience is a fear that won't benefit you in any way. 

If i told you yes, you would persuit it 

if i told you no, you wouldn't 

you still wouldn't know for yourself if it was yes or no. so the answer to you is still not helpful itself. you have to experience it yourself

[Forestluv]

The mind-body primarily desires security and comfort. There comes a time when seeking truth raises insecurity and discomfort. To continue on, one must prioritize truth over security and comfort. Part of my resistance to seeking truth was that my mind created all sorts of scary scenarios of what the outcome might be like. I wanted some assurance that if I went through the process, it would be ok in the end. Yet nobody could give me that assurance. I had to venture through it alone. I had support from others, yet the direct experience was through my mind and body.

There are aspects of letting go of control and surrendering to what is that were very uncomfortable at times. Yet, there is also deeper modes of being regarding peace, human connection, love and the magnificence of reality that I could not have imagined.

You say that you may rather continue living in ignorance, since ignorance is bliss. Yet, you also say that you are fearful about death and the future of your life. That doesn't sound very blissful to me. 

[Ecocotton]

@tedens @Aakash Thanks for you responses 

@Serotoninluv

25 minutes ago, Serotoninluv said:

You say that you may rather continue living in ignorance, since ignorance is bliss. Yet, you also say that you are fearful about death and the future of your life. That doesn't sound very blissful to me. 

No it is not blissful but maybe it is better then the truth. 

[ajasatya]

@Ecocotton if you want to realize life & death, you have to fully realize what you are RIGHT NOW.

what is alive? what dies?

[tedens]

I used to say that ignorance is worst enemy of conciousness.

 

[purerogue]

Well your I will be very afraid  and will probably not like what he finds out. 

[Forestluv]

6 hours ago, Ecocotton said:

 

@Serotoninluv

No it is not blissful but maybe it is better then the truth. 

In terms of selling truth to one's self, the biggest draw is the end of suffering. It sounds like your mind has set up a scale and is measuring the cost of the known suffering of ignorance vs. the fear of unknown truth. When the scale is tipped such that the known suffering of ignorance becomes worse than the fear of unknown truth, a seeking energy toward truth may arise. 

It seems that you have already had a solid glimpse of truth and have experienced a desire to understand that truth for it's own sake.

 

[Ecocotton]

@ajasatya @purerogue Thanks!

 

@Serotoninluv Yes exactly, that is how it feels for me. I am so afraid of the unknown, more afraid than the desire for the truth.

My enlightenment experience happened spontaneously without meditation. It felt like an energy that moved about ten centimeters from my third eye chakra and upwards. I have been doing self-inquiry a little but not routinely everyday, only sporadically. I have been meditating 1,5 years everyday but I stopped about a year ago since I thought it triggered my psychosis.

And when I know that that was only a glimpse of the oxe's tail, what to expect when I see the whole ox, and looking it in the eyes like leo says. 

[tedens]

In my opinion you should do much more traditional research in this all area of spiritual 'world'.

[Nahm]

@Ecocotton If you left a warm comfy house and walked into the woods, and got lost, and as it got dark you began to get scared....the fear would be relative to that you were originally in a warm comfy house. ♥️ Good luck on your journey! 

[RichardY]

Reminded of the story of that guy who got his arm stuck in a canyon wall, who then had to break it, and then cut it off with his pen knife.

Absolute Truth

To a pantheist - Absolute Infinity.
To a Christian - Jesus Christ.
To an Objectivist - Freewill.
To a Buddhist - Nirvana.
To Nietzsche - A fiction.
To a Muslim - The Koran.
To me - Being, for lack of a better word.

For some reason the archetypal Behemoth(The Ox) does not resonate with me, Leviathan(The Serpent) however does.

[Ecocotton]

Thank you @Nahm and @RichardY