Struggling emotionally to talk to multiple girls at a time

[Bluebird]

So I've been talking to this girl now for many weeks. It's hard to say where we stand, we've gotten pretty close but at the same time I really have no idea where it may lead. She's dealing with some personal shit and that's led to a bit of a halt in terms of me being able to make real progress.

I feel almost a little wrong by talking to other girls (with the intention of seeing if it leads to sex / a relationship) whilst I'm still talking to this girl. 

On one level, I'm almost afraid of having too many options, like I don't want to hurt anyone (especially this girl who seems to be in a vulnerable position - but that is likely just my projection). But at the same time, something about this doesn't feel quite right. Almost like it's lust/attachment, not an open sharing of my love if I commit myself to her this early on. In another sense it doesn't seem strategic, since having more options would make me more loving, since the choice would be more meaningul. I guess I answered my own question there in a way.

And I mean, I really have no way of knowing, but she is more than likely talking to multiple guys.

What's this resistance to talking to multiple girls at a time about? Has anyone been through this before?

[universe]

Do you want to talk to other girls?

Maybe you feel like you have such a deep connection that you want to be careful not to harm it. Thats ok.

Just also be careful that she is not playing games with you.

Its not you making progress - Its you both making progress.

"show me, dont tell me"

[Bluebird]

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Maybe you feel like you have such a deep connection that you want to be careful not to harm it. Thats ok.

@universe My issue is that I have done this before, haha. And it really didn't work out well. I've come a long way since then so don't expect it to turn out exactly the same way.

But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't afraid of the fact that I feel this connection again. 

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Do you want to talk to other girls?

Well, not particularly. I like this girl and would like to see where it goes. We'll see what happens but for now I might just chill in the not-knowingness haha. Something about that feels right.

[Elisabeth]

6 hours ago, Bluebird said:

 

Well, not particularly. 

 

There's your answer. 

[Amadeusz]

I have the same. Maybe we have to be dirty for some time and then settle with one girl... Maybe you need to sleep with many girls first to build masculinity

[Consept]

20 hours ago, Bluebird said:

So I've been talking to this girl now for many weeks. It's hard to say where we stand, we've gotten pretty close but at the same time I really have no idea where it may lead. She's dealing with some personal shit and that's led to a bit of a halt in terms of me being able to make real progress.

I feel almost a little wrong by talking to other girls (with the intention of seeing if it leads to sex / a relationship) whilst I'm still talking to this girl. 

On one level, I'm almost afraid of having too many options, like I don't want to hurt anyone (especially this girl who seems to be in a vulnerable position - but that is likely just my projection). But at the same time, something about this doesn't feel quite right. Almost like it's lust/attachment, not an open sharing of my love if I commit myself to her this early on. In another sense it doesn't seem strategic, since having more options would make me more loving, since the choice would be more meaningul. I guess I answered my own question there in a way.

And I mean, I really have no way of knowing, but she is more than likely talking to multiple guys.

What's this resistance to talking to multiple girls at a time about? Has anyone been through this before?

Might sound crass but have you had sex with her yet?

[Bluebird]

@Consept Nope

[Good-boy]

Stop being a pussy and just go and talk, them bang, then leave. ?

[Consept]

15 hours ago, Bluebird said:

@Consept Nope

Ok so youre thinking about this wrong, for whatever reason shes put the brakes on it and she feels like she can do that because she doesnt feel like youll go anywhere or shes just not feeling you like that. Which maybe a result of you just not making a move. Now, you not talking to other girls actually looks to her like you 'cant' talk to other girls, which is to say other girls are not attracted to you (might not be the case but its how she'll see it). You think that talking to girls will put her off but actually its the complete opposite, if she knew you were talking to other girls and she liked you she would step up her game and show that shes interested, if she didnt like you in the first place she wont but you cant really change that. Its counter-intuitive but you should talk to other girls and not in a manipulative way, just be open to girls coming your way and make choices for you, if you dont like a girl dont take it further.

Also if youre not having sex or being affectionate (consensually) with her dont give her so much of your time, this whole thing of im just gonna hang around until she lets me know she likes me rarely works, see if there are any signs if there are make a move. If you really arent sure then say how you feel and if shes not into it then move on but the worst thing you can do is get stuck in this limbo, its bullshit. Anyway good luck, let us know how it goes

[Bluebird]

@Consept This makes a lot of sense, thanks. I definitely agree with what you're saying.

Going to act on this and we'll see what happens.

[Bluebird]

@Consept That being said, she did try to take it to the next stage at one point, and for some strange reason I self cockblocked haha. Realised what happened in hindsight though, I didn't do it consciously.

Either way I feel like working on letting go of the attachment to her (not the love, but the clinging) is going to be very positive. I've already been doing this, but I guess it hasn't yet reflected in my actions.