Dealing with trolls

[solr]

Just started a youtube channel after finishing leos life purpose course. Its been my dream for years, i have this urge to help people, because I've had my share of struggles & I don't wish that on anyone. I have a follower base on instagram already, so i didnt start it from 0.. "Problem" is, it seems like I have a couple of haters. As to why, I really don't know.. I do this for free to help, and I spend all of my free time on it. When I come home from my (extremely high pace) 3D modeling/visualization job and just want to go to sleep - I work like a horse on this channel. You have to be your own writer, researcher, camera man, graphic designer, sound man & video editor.. And ofc I love it, but these people leave nasty messages about the way I look and dislike as soon as I upload anything. It's so discouraging, and it really gets to me. I was bullied a looot growing up. I find this so difficult, especially when I'm tired. I'm in the startup fase as well, and havent really had the time to have a positive impact and help others... yet. And honestly... I also kind of feel like: you know what, fuck people, why do i even want to help you? 

Any advice? 

Fuck im so tired. Feel like a huge ego backlash is on its way as well

[ajasatya]

4 minutes ago, solr said:

Its been my dream for years, i have this urge to help people, because I've had my share of struggles & I don't wish that on anyone

 

4 minutes ago, solr said:

And honestly... I also kind of feel like: you know what, fuck people, why do i even want to help you?

very interesting!

here's my 2 cents: give up on helping people and just talk about your own journey. focus on how you felt, what you did and how you feel now. make it more sincere.

you clearly haven't mastered these subjects yet because it's easy to sense lots of insecurities in you. make a more humble approach :).

[solr]

5 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

just talk about your own journey. focus on how you felt, what you did and how you feel now. make it more sincere.

Thats what i do

Edited January 16, 2019 by solr

[ajasatya]

2 minutes ago, solr said:

Thats what i do

then document and publish (optional) your way of dealing with trolls and haters.

remember: it's always about the quality of your life.

[IVONNE]

@solr if I was you I would clearly mention that they are really interested. like, this is the reason they're even in your chanell. that speaks a lot! they could of watched other things or do other things and so its sad to know that they have not done anything better.

hard pill to swallow my dear but its the hard truth.

Take it easy, much love to you xx

I watch a lot of Youtube videos myself. let me know your channel. I could help in liking and commenting

Take good care love x

[solr]

Just now, ajasatya said:

then document and publish (optional) your way of dealing with trolls and haters.

remember: it's always about the quality of your life.

Thats a good idea, you learn more deeply when you have the intention of teaching it to others. 

 

And yeah, but you'll encounter trolls no matter what you decide to do i guess. Im just tired, and its hard getting comments about the way you look when you've put your heart and soul into a topic

[solr]

3 minutes ago, IVONNE said:

@solr if I was you I would clearly mention that they are really interested. like, this is the reason they're even in your chanell. that speaks a lot! they could of watched other things or do other things and so its sad to know that they have not done anything better.

hard pill to swallow my dear but its the hard truth.

Take it easy, much love to you xx

I watch a lot of Youtube videos myself. let me know your channel. I could help in liking and commenting

Take good care love x

Thank you, but its in norwegian <3 hugs

[Emerald]

21 minutes ago, solr said:

Just started a youtube channel after finishing leos life purpose course. Its been my dream for years, i have this urge to help people, because I've had my share of struggles & I don't wish that on anyone. I have a follower base on instagram already, so i didnt start it from 0.. "Problem" is, it seems like I have a couple of haters. As to why, I really don't know.. I do this for free to help, and I spend all of my free time on it. When I come home from my (extremely high pace) 3D modeling/visualization job and just want to go to sleep - I work like a horse on this channel. You have to be your own writer, researcher, camera man, graphic designer, sound man & video editor.. And ofc I love it, but these people leave nasty messages about the way I look and dislike as soon as I upload anything. It's so discouraging, and it really gets to me. I was bullied a looot growing up. I find this so difficult, especially when I'm tired. I'm in the startup fase as well, and havent really had the time to have a positive impact and help others... yet. And honestly... I also kind of feel like: you know what, fuck people, why do i even want to help you? 

Any advice? 

Fuck im so tired. Feel like a huge ego backlash is on its way as well

When I first started my channel, I got a lot more antagonistic people on there. Even more troubling, my 29th subscriber (I know because I celebrated every time I got a new one) that I ever got became obsessed with me for a few weeks and was creating all these disturbing videos where he would use like a weird voice and take a screenshot of my picture and would say all these creepy things. And that was when I had my channel running for less than a month. So, it was trial by fire and I felt very vulnerable about putting myself out there because I was opening myself up to other's baggage and projections.

But once I got up past 1000 subs, things really shifted around. Now, at nearly 20k subs, I have mostly pleasant interactions with only a few trolls sprinkled in here and there. And they create a more pleasant culture on my comments sections that becomes difficult for negativity to get real traction within. And since I have a lot of viewers that enjoy me as a person sharing the content that I do, there's a clear slant in my favor. So, if someone comes around being negative, then it's the exception not the rule, and they have to contend with being in the minority and getting criticism coming at them from my subscribers. So, that probably discourages most trolls, and the ones who try are usually the easiest to spot and either ignore or shut down.

So, I recommend continuing to press on and eventually things will shift in your favor. And mostly just don't respond to the trolls. Not responding will be best in 99% of situations, because you won't be giving them what they want... which is to see that they're having an effect on you. If they realize that they can't get to you, they'll move on. That said, if you see an easy opportunity to make them look foolish by using their own shenanigans against them, then you can do that too. 

For example, I remember one time (before I started my channel), that I was commenting on a YouTube video, and someone came along criticizing what I had said and making fun of a spelling or grammar error that I had made. So, I just owned it. Like, "Yeah. I did make that error. I'm a human being and I make mistakes sometimes. Why do you care so much about my typos? If you have an issue with the substance of what I said, address that and we can discuss it. But going for a grammar error just makes it seem that you don't have ground to stand on with your viewpoints, so it seems you're grasping at straws and looking for any way to paint me in a negative light to disprove me. Now if you have a critique on the substance of what I said, we can have a reasonable debate, but if not, don't waste my time." And afterward, he really changed his tune. 

And if you do this the right way, your viewers will recognize that you have boundaries and the trolls know that they'll get put in their place if they try you. So, you can check 'em from time to time if you have a way to do it where you still seem unafflicted and in the favorable position.

Another example, of when I thought it was appropriate to check someone was a few weeks ago on comment made on my Anima/Animus video. And it's a 30 minute long video where I'm talking a lot about masculinity and femininity and the psychological integration of the feminine Anima in a man and/or the masculine Animus in a woman. It's a theory in Jungian psychology. So, for about 45 seconds of the video, I mentioned that this may work differently for members of the LGBT community or gender non-conforming people, so that if someone like that comes to the video, they can still benefit from knowing about the theory and how it benefits them. And I didn't mention this again in the video and just went into the theory after a short blurb about that.

But this guy comes on, and he's all like "OMG! (barfing emoji) All this is is leftist propaganda and everything in the video is politicized and cliché. This is disgusting how she's trying to indoctrinate everyone with "Post-modern NeoMarxism. Do yourselves a favor and don't even watch this bullshit."

So, I just explained to him that that information wasn't propaganda. And that it was actually for LGBT/gender non-conforming people who come to the video and want to know how this theory applies to them, as my videos aren't just for straight and gender conforming people because gay people exist too. And I also told him that I'm bi-sexual and if I wanted to make an accurate video to my experience and not just regurgitate dead theory, then I have to add in my experiences. And I finished it off by telling him to stop 'clutching pearls about everything and getting so offended over nothing.

And I specifically added in the last part because I know those types tend to like to call other people snowflakes and stuff. So, it gets in the way of his ability to think of me as the easily offended one because I've just called him out on being easily offended and did so in a way where most people coming to the video would see that I'm being very reasonable, considerate, and not coming in with a "political" agenda but personal experience and empathy.

Anyway, long post. I hope this is encouraging and gives you some ideas of how to eek past this initial phase of starting a channel.

By they way, what is your channel URL?

 

 

 

[zambize]

I didn't realize you were Norwegian, I have family that lives in Stavanger, but yeah you should link us the channel 

[guisot]

You are now a Youtuber, you are a public personality, a lot of people will come : trolls, haters, fans, lost, ect... 

Now what is your dream? Helping people by making videos, so focus on that, improve yourself, and improve your videos and you will see the ratio fans/haters increase. 

[Forestluv]

@solr It can be upsetting and tiresome, especially for people that are emphatic. Sometimes it's like my body absorbs the negativity. Like they punched me in the gut. There have been semesters I put my heart and soul into my course material and worked overtime to help students. At semester end, there is always at least one student that will write a negative evaluation with a personal attack about something trivial. Usually a student that didn't show up to class and performed poorly. Yet sometimes, I internalize it and can't shake it. Even if all the rest of the evaluations are positive, it is that one negative eval. with the personal attack that dominates.

Regarding youtube channels, is it possible to "ignore" or "ban" trolls? 

[brugluiz]

Once I started a vlog about schizophrenia and there were many trolls. I mean people with almost no empathy who just attacked me in a mean way. I stopped posting videos, deleted all of them and now I just write my blog.

Anyway, don't give up. Maybe it's a good idea to just share your journey, but if you have this inner desire of helping people, don't give up.

[solr]

9 hours ago, Soulbass said:

having haters is healthy, it's good for exposure (it creates drama).

your channel seems fake to me, it's too idealistic.

i think you are the "face" and you have a ghost.

are you aware of the story of Loell Bergen & Kylee Boettcher ?

https://youtube.fandom.com/wiki/OMFG

i love the concept tho.

why doing a retopology on a sculpt which isn't intended to be animated ?

he is a downloaded model from 3dsky, but he needed to be more handsome so i altered him a bit

I work in the 3d business with 3ds max, vray, inventor, revit, VR and adobe. A job I made for myself, just like i made my channel, without a guy paying me because i look a certain way

This wasnt my question, id prefer to stay on topic. Which is how to deal with comments that ridicule your looks when you put everything you have into making something of great value. 

Any other questions, send it on PM. 

 

10 hours ago, Emerald said:

When I first started my channel, I got a lot more antagonistic people on there. Even more troubling, my 29th subscriber (I know because I celebrated every time I got a new one) that I ever got became obsessed with me for a few weeks and was creating all these disturbing videos where he would use like a weird voice and take a screenshot of my picture and would say all these creepy things. And that was when I had my channel running for less than a month. So, it was trial by fire and I felt very vulnerable about putting myself out there because I was opening myself up to other's baggage and projections.

 

10 hours ago, Emerald said:

 

That has to be the craziest shit ive ever heard. He really uploaded videos imitating you? Just wow, you're thick skinned indeed

[CreamCat]

Ban or block trolls after giving them some time to correct themselves.

[Key Elements]

Great topic. Great post. 

It makes me wonder: it's probably great to research on how to market on YouTube before actually going into it. 

It's probably a good idea to map out your LP first before jumping into it on YouTube. 

Observe what others are doing--the others who are doing a topic/LP similar to your own.

[solr]

9 hours ago, Serotoninluv said:

@solr It can be upsetting and tiresome, especially for people that are emphatic. Sometimes it's like my body absorbs the negativity. Like they punched me in the gut. There have been semesters I put my heart and soul into my course material and worked overtime to help students. At semester end, there is always at least one student that will write a negative evaluation with a personal attack about something trivial. Usually a student that didn't show up to class and performed poorly. Yet sometimes, I internalize it and can't shake it. Even if all the rest of the evaluations are positive, it is that one negative eval. with the personal attack that dominates.

Regarding youtube channels, is it possible to "ignore" or "ban" trolls? 

Yeah i completely relate to that "punched in the gut" feeling, and I totally understand that has to feel terrible after putting so much heart into it.

Yes it is possible to ban, but I don't think avoidance is the way to go. They'll just figure out other means to do what they do.. or new ones will pop up. Better to learn to deal with it imo. I think you have to be very developed for not feeling (at least a little bit) sad when you read something like that.

[solr]

9 hours ago, brugluiz said:

Once I started a vlog about schizophrenia and there were many trolls. I mean people with almost no empathy who just attacked me in a mean way. I stopped posting videos, deleted all of them and now I just write my blog.

Anyway, don't give up. Maybe it's a good idea to just share your journey, but if you have this inner desire of helping people, don't give up.

Im sorry to hear that <3

[solr]

12 minutes ago, Soulbass said:

@solr it's ok to be a superhero, but "orange" values don't stick with northern europe.

i would suggest adding a sense of humor / self-reflect in your work.

Do you speak norwegian and understand what I'm talking about in my videos? Because this does not reflect my work at all.

[Krzysztof]

I would try and cultivate a sense of compassion for your bullies or trolls. You can even do it every day at the end of meditation. Can't get mad at someone in this state

[solr]

2 minutes ago, Krzysztof said:

I would try and cultivate a sense of compassion for your bullies or trolls. You can even do it every day at the end of meditation. Can't get mad at someone in this state

Yes you're right. I don't get mad though, only discouraged. I'll begin to include them in my metta bhavana meditation. Thank you for the reminder <3