I want to be popular

[Emerald]

4 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Emerald  By your logic, all the fake business gurus, who cannot admit to themselves that they have enough money already, would be absolutely sane. You can literally spend your whole life following egoic needs without noticing it, that's what 99 % of people do, still you promote it.

My point is that the idea of 'all egoic drives being invalid' can be a huge ego trap that causes a lot of repression and increases self-judgment and shadow. It is only the ego that wants to be free of ego, so it resists itself and doesn't want itself associated with egotism even though it is indeed an ego. This is called spiritual ego. And it creates suffering and keeps a person from really embodying their humanity.

I see it all the time on this forum in people who paint themselves into a corner as to what they're allowed to feel because it undermines their identification with spirituality and especially spiritual superiority. But it really just causes them to be very judgmental toward themselves and others and makes them unaware of this pattern in themselves.  

So, it creates this huge blindspot where they learn to lie to themselves about how they feel because they want to feel more spiritually advanced than others. So, in order to maintain the identity of being "more spiritually advanced than others' in their own eyes, there is a need to self-deceive and become selectively conscious toward the contents of the internal landscape. And they won't be able to be aware of certain aspects of themselves or reality since their identification is so strong and they're afraid to undermine the ego structure.

For example, if an emotion comes up recurrently where a person feels like they want a lot of attention, there is a valid psychological reason for that... and that emotion is also an extension of being itself. But if a person is identified with a resistance to ego, then recognizing that genuine emotion becomes a threat to the ego structure of the spiritual ego. So, the person finds a way to lie to themselves and ignore that feeling, thus relegating that feeling to the shadow which is totally unconscious to them. But the desire for attention doesn't go away, it just comes out in more convoluted ways that the person is not aware of.

So, they may begin unconsciously seeking attention by becoming a hypochondriac, which necessitates that other people pay attention to them. Or they may self-sabotage and make themselves late for things, so that they are noticed when they walk in late. And none of that would be a conscious decision. So, if the front door is locked, the desires just go to the back door. And if the back door is locked, they sneak in through the window.

So, it isn't like ego goes away if you ignore its drives. People get their ego fix by repressing these egoic drives because they can pat themselves on the back for it being a good boy or good girl. So, even when people are self-congratulating about being freer from ego for their renunciations, it is still strengthening their ego and fortifying that chains that hold them back from liberation.

So, my point is to avoid falling on the other side of the horse to the scenario that you mentioned...

You can be a fake business guru who only follow their egoic needs and get so wrapped up in that identity that they become unconscious and end up with lots of shadows and unconsciousness. 

But you can also be a spiritual person who renounces all the drives toward worldly success and popularity, in judgement, resistance, and reaction against "fake business gurus who only follow their egoic needs." And you'd pat yourself on the back for your superiority to those fake business gurus and repress away any similar drives... because (of course) your spiritual ego is better and more pious than their business ego. And you end up so wrapped up in that identity that you become unconscious and end up with lots of shadows and unconsciousness. 

So, the only difference in these two identifications is the window-dressing.

So, you must begin with dis-identification with the emotions and a really clear perception of what your emotions are regardless of what they're telling you and your associations with that thing.

If you desire popularity. The issue is not that drives toward popularity have come up. And the issue is not in exploring toward those popularity drives. 

The issue is in over-idenfitication with thoughts and emotions and making them mean something about your identity and resisting, self-deceiving, ignoring, repressing, and becoming unconscious to those thoughts/emotions to preserve a desired identity because of some moralization and judgment about how wanting popularity makes a person lesser.

Can you see how this would strengthen the illusion of ego and create a situation where you'd have to judge yourself and others and be unconscious to quite a lot of things, simply to trick yourself into believing that you're beyond ego because of a desire to be superior to others? 

The ego is a sneaky devil... yes?

[Michael569]

3 hours ago, Emerald said:

My point is that the idea of 'all egoic drives being invalid' can be a huge ego trap that causes a lot of repression and increases self-judgment and shadow. It is only the ego that wants to be free of ego, so it resists itself and doesn't want itself associated with egotism even though it is indeed an ego. This is called spiritual ego. And it creates suffering and keeps a person from really embodying their humanity.

This is deep !!

[bejapuskas]

@Emerald  Of course, that's another problem, I don't really like overthinking the inner stuff like that, because it only makes things worse for me, but you've got a point there, now it seems as if we are looking at the thing from different perspectives. It's not about being superior to business gurus, it's about not falling into that trap of following money, fame and pussy. These are too deadly and @F A B doesn't seem to recognize that. I know where you're coming from, been there. Actually, I cured many of my addictions this way. My point is, that you have to draw a line somewhere, you cannot just keep following your ego without questioning it, that's just another delusion. The goal of this approach is to become conscious of the motivations. I actually fell into it short time ago and it was literally like saying to yourself: „Yeh, even though I already ate too much of this chocolate, I should probably eat more, because the amount wasn't enough for me to recognize, that it's the ego telling me, that this thing is bad for my health...“ do you see the problem?

[F A B]

@bejapuskas man if you continue to reply, this thread will become too popular! Be careful! 

Jokes aside, I think Emerald has been very clear. I don't have anything to add to her words.

I'm fine bro, don't worry about me.

Cheers

[bejapuskas]

@F A B  I wouldn't assume, that everything is gonna be ok, you rather be honest to yourself about everything  

[Emerald]

42 minutes ago, Damir Elezi said:

I really like what you say, it resonates with me. What if somebody has the desire to leave his/her s.o. to sleep around with other people. Would you also recommend following emotions? I'd consider this to be a pretty short-sighted decision, but your explanation made me question that. 

Seek first to understand why it is that you want that and accept the reasons why. 

Then, once you see your motivations at a deeper level, you'll be able to see if it's something that you should or shouldn't pursue.

But brutal honesty is needed as your motivations may not be as straightforward as they seem at face value. Meaning, that it may not simply be a desire for sexual adventures, it may take root in something deeper... or it may not. It may literally just be a desire for sex.

If you feel like you want to do it because you feel like you need validation, then be honest with yourself about that and realize that there is a reason why you crave validation that can never be solved on that level. And then, you'll need to explore that need for validation.

Or it could be some other motivation as well.

[MIARIVEL]

@F A B you can do anything you set your mine to. Have an unstoppable mindset and watch things start to fall together.