I want to be popular

[bejapuskas]

@Emerald  Don't you think that there is better things you can do with your ego, like disciplining yourself, working on your health, having meaningful conversations with amazing people? This becoming popular is bullshit in my opinion, it's just a waste of time. If you rather find one person, who is further developed on this path than you, it will be more valuable than 1000 people that „like“ you. 

[F A B]

@bejapuskas There is always something better you can do with ego, one thing does not exclude the other anyway.

Becoming popular is not always bullshit, depends on how you become popular, depends on the stuff you share, depends on the quality of your followers...etc

I remind you that also Leo Gura is popular!

 

Edited January 24, 2019 by F A B

[ajasatya]

4 hours ago, F A B said:

I remind you that also Leo Gura is popular!

as far as i am concerned, his state of happiness does not depend on his popularity. i'd say that it's for business purposes, only.

[F A B]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

as far as i am concerned, his state of happiness does not depend on his popularity.

As far as I'm concerned, I agree with you. I Never said Leo's happiness depends on his popularity.

[ajasatya]

7 minutes ago, F A B said:

As far as I'm concerned, I agree with you. I Never said Leo's happiness depends on his popularity.

his popularity, or the popularity of anyone who shares high quality content, are straightforward consequences.

the fact that you aim to be popular as a goal is stinky. it smells like spiritual poverty.

[F A B]

26 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

the fact that you aim to be popular as a goal is stinky

I don't aim to be popular.

It's about the challenge as I said before. It's about discovering how popularity works and use it in a good way like Leo.

[ajasatya]

5 minutes ago, F A B said:

It's about discovering how popularity works

you become popular when people believe that they will benefit from their relationship with you. it's that simple.

becoming popular and then using it for whatever reason sounds like a scam... as if you were lying just to be someone else later.

instead, do what you want to do before you become popular and keep up the work after you become popular. your popularity may even be a termometer to tell you about the quality of what you offer.

this is how i think about popularity. what will your practical actions be?

[F A B]

20 minutes ago, ajasatya said:

what will your practical actions be?

I love being creative

I would like to open an Instagram account about creativity.

Edited January 24, 2019 by F A B

[Emerald]

8 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Emerald  Don't you think that there is better things you can do with your ego, like disciplining yourself, working on your health, having meaningful conversations with amazing people? This becoming popular is bullshit in my opinion, it's just a waste of time. If you rather find one person, who is further developed on this path than you, it will be more valuable than 1000 people that „like“ you. 

It is wisest to listen to what your emotions are telling you. And this is why...

Let's say that the OP decides that "Trying to be popular is egoic. So, I shouldn't do it." Then, he's going to still want it but repress the fact that he wants it. So, the desire to be popular won't go away, it will just become unconscious. And he will leave the door open for repressing anything that he considers "egoic." And this is a real problem for someone who has an ego as LITERALLY EVERYTHING is egoic for someone who has an ego.

But let's say that the OP decides that, "I know this is egoic. But it is indeed what I honestly want. So, I'm going to do it." Then, he will be able to explore that desire in real-time and see what makes it tick. And he can notice the ego in action as he won't be repressing his ego... he'll be noticing it there. And from there he is in a much better to actually transcend his desires for popularity.

So, again, repression and transcendence are not the same thing. You can decide to refrain from egoic pursuits for egoic reasons, and all it will do is tie your hands and create all kinds of moralizations in you, which will actually strengthen the ego because you're taking yourself too seriously. And all you'll be doing is making yourself small. 

Ego transcendence requires unconditional love and acceptance of what is and COMPLETE non-resistance. This means complete love and acceptance toward ego, and completely non-resistance to ego.

So, if you notice that your emotions are saying "I want to be popular", than it hurts no one to go toward that end. And you can really see what that desire is made of.

But if your ego reacts against the thought, "I want to be popular", and the ego says "That's too egoic." then your ego will create a blindspot by dimming the awareness and relegating the desire for popularity to the shadow. This is what resistance does.

So, always work from exactly where you're at, and don't judge yourself for your desires no matter how egoic they are. You can only be exactly where you are.

[Emerald]

1 hour ago, ajasatya said:

his popularity, or the popularity of anyone who shares high quality content, are straightforward consequences.

the fact that you aim to be popular as a goal is stinky. it smells like spiritual poverty.

Truly, this is quite moralistic and judgmental. People are allowed to have an ego if that's where they are, and there is nothing invalid about it. And you shouldn't try to shame a person out of their desires by criticizing them for it. 

If a person wants popularity, then there's definitely a psychological reason for it. There may be some deep-seated emotions and traumas incurred early on in life that makes a person crave popularity. Or it could be about a deeper desire put through the filter of a belief system picked up earlier in life. Plus, wanting popularity doesn't actually harm anyone.

So, to say it's "stinky" or accusing a person of "spiritual poverty" is misguided and will only create more repression within that person, making it harder for them to address their shadow and be honest with themselves. It makes people feel like their desires are invalid, despite the fact that their desires are inherently valid as an extension of being. 

I recommend going for it since trying to be popular doesn't actually harm anyone. And going toward that desire will enable the OP to explore those desires in a more extrapolated way, which will put them in a better position to actually understand why they want what they want. And this is the stuff that true transcendence is made of.

But if a person comes to judge themselves as spiritually impoverished for their desires, they won't even be able to accept that they have them anymore. And those desires will rot inside of them, and they'll never be able to transcend them. So, this is why it's important not to judge and be moralistic.

 

[Emerald]

54 minutes ago, F A B said:

I don't aim to be popular.

It's about the challenge as I said before. It's about discovering how popularity works and use it in a good way like Leo.

You're allowed to just want popularity, if that's what you want.

Your desires are valid. Accept them for exactly what they are with no judgment. 

[zambize]

33 minutes ago, Emerald said:

It is wisest to listen to what your emotions are telling you. And this is why...

Let's say that the OP decides that "Trying to be popular is egoic. So, I shouldn't do it." Then, he's going to still want it but repress the fact that he wants it. So, the desire to be popular won't go away, it will just become unconscious. And he will leave the door open for repressing anything that he considers "egoic." And this is a real problem for someone who has an ego as LITERALLY EVERYTHING is egoic for someone who has an ego.

But let's say that the OP decides that, "I know this is egoic. But it is indeed what I honestly want. So, I'm going to do it." Then, he will be able to explore that desire in real-time and see what makes it tick. And he can notice the ego in action as he won't be repressing his ego... he'll be noticing it there. And from there he is in a much better to actually transcend his desires for popularity.

So, again, repression and transcendence are not the same thing. You can decide to refrain from egoic pursuits for egoic reasons, and all it will do is tie your hands and create all kinds of moralizations in you, which will actually strengthen the ego because you're taking yourself too seriously. And all you'll be doing is making yourself small. 

Ego transcendence requires unconditional love and acceptance of what is and COMPLETE non-resistance. This means complete love and acceptance toward ego, and completely non-resistance to ego.

So, if you notice that your emotions are saying "I want to be popular", than it hurts no one to go toward that end. And you can really see what that desire is made of.

But if your ego reacts against the thought, "I want to be popular", and the ego says "That's too egoic." then your ego will create a blindspot by dimming the awareness and relegating the desire for popularity to the shadow. This is what resistance does.

So, always work from exactly where you're at, and don't judge yourself for your desires no matter how egoic they are. You can only be exactly where you are.

On a similar paradoxical note I work best when I'm willing to admit the part of me that is fucking done with it and wants to be lazy

[bejapuskas]

@Emerald  At some point, you have to become conscious about what you actually want. The mind can create all sorts of labels for egoic goals, such as „challenge“. If you actually wouldn't question these thoughts at some point in your life, you would go insane.

[ajasatya]

57 minutes ago, Emerald said:

So, to say it's "stinky" or accusing a person of "spiritual poverty" is misguided and will only create more repression within that person, making it harder for them to address their shadow and be honest with themselves. It makes people feel like their desires are invalid, despite the fact that their desires are inherently valid as an extension of being.

i disagree.

when i was weak and distracted, i used to crave for the most shallow desires. and even though i could achieve some of them, i didn't feel happy and ended up falling back in the same shallow circle of desires over and over.

then i decided to communicate my desires (pretty much like the OP did) and people helped me investigate the nature of what i wanted. i found out that most of my desires were just as weak as i was and they didn't survive the inquiry process.

one day i had the desire to dance shuffle. and after communicating my desire, i could make it survive the inquiry process with ease. so i started to practice and practice for months. i got so good at it that i became popular (check it out if you want). and that's how i overcame my first huge depression when i was 19.

people that really know what they want will know why and how to defend their desires. and they will figure out a practical way to do it. read the entire conversation and you'll notice that, in the end, he did have a clear vision of what he actually wants to do.

btw, this is how life purpose courses work. they're supposed to make you question your desires from every possible perspective. the final result is a polished vision and practical plan.

Edited January 24, 2019 by ajasatya

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, zambize said:

On a similar paradoxical note I work best when I'm willing to admit the part of me that is fucking done with it and wants to be lazy

When you're following your emotions and not repressing them, then this is very positive. So, being able to be in touch with your emotions and not resist them is most healthy, and that's probably why you can do your best work then.

 

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, bejapuskas said:

@Emerald  At some point, you have to become conscious about what you actually want. The mind can create all sorts of labels for egoic goals, such as „challenge“. If you actually wouldn't question these thoughts at some point in your life, you would go insane.

The only way to question them is to...

1. Realize those desires are there and valid

2. Actually go toward them and explore your response to them in real time

So, to be moralistic and avoid a desire simply because of the belief that "This is egoic and therefore invalid.", is repression.

Again, repression is not transcendence. You have to be careful, because you can lie to yourself if you keep deciding to not want what you want because you've chosen simply to decide something different and ignore what's there because of the egoic fears of seeming egoic.

So, if the OP feels like he wants to be popular, that's simply where he is. And he has to take the journey from where he is and not where he thinks he SHOULD be. 

[Emerald]

3 hours ago, ajasatya said:

i disagree.

when i was weak and distracted, i used to crave for the most shallow desires. and even though i could achieve some of them, i didn't feel happy and ended up falling back in the same shallow circle of desires over and over.

then i decided to communicate my desires (pretty much like the OP did) and people helped me investigate the nature of what i wanted. i found out that most of my desires were just as weak as i was and they didn't survive the inquiry process.

one day i had the desire to dance shuffle. and after communicating my desire, i could make it survive the inquiry process with ease. so i started to practice and practice for months. i got so good at it that i became popular (check it out if you want). and that's how i overcame my first huge depression when i was 19.

people that really know what they want will know why and how to defend their desires. and they will figure out a practical way to do it. read the entire conversation and you'll notice that, in the end, he did have a clear vision of what he actually wants to do.

btw, this is how life purpose courses work. they're supposed to make you question your desires from every possible perspective. the final result is a polished vision and practical plan.

I did read your entire conversation. And my impression was that you were trying to shame the OP out of his desire to be popular by saying that his desires were "stinky" and a sign of "spiritual poverty." Then, he seemed to get uncomfortable and started trying to reframe his desires in a way that was more acceptable to you in order to feel more acceptable in your eyes and the eyes of others who have adhere to a similar belief in the invalidity of ego drives.

But my impression was that it wasn't genuinely seeing his desires from a different point of view to get in touch even more with what he wants. It was just reframing the desire to be popular in a more socially acceptable way to avoid judgment. And this is shame, because he may then start to lose consciousness even of his desire to be popular and it will come out in a way that's even more steeped in shadow because it's a repression on top of a repression. And this is why I said it's important not to judge others, because they will learn to repress and selectively ignore aspects of themselves simply to fit a more socially acceptable mold.

And notice how you were able to go into your dance shuffle inspiration without the fear of it being ego driven. This enabled you to actually explore that desire in real time without resistance. But if you had the inkling that your desires toward this were invalid and you had someone ten years older than you echoing that idea and calling you "spiritually impoverished" for such egoic desires, then you may have avoided that desire altogether. And you wouldn't have learned what you learned. 

[F A B]

5 hours ago, Emerald said:

You're allowed to just want popularity, if that's what you want.

Your desires are valid. Accept them for exactly what they are with no judgment. 

Thank you ❤️

 

45 minutes ago, Emerald said:

my impression was that you were trying to shame the OP out of his desire to be popular by saying that his desires were "stinky" and a sign of "spiritual poverty."

Yes, you are right, I felt a little attacked. Fortunately, I'mature enough not to take it personally 

[ajasatya]

@Emerald the struggle to become more popular is the exact attempt to look better in the eyes of others.

i am here to talk from personal experience and from what i see in the experience of others. everyone (me included) who's ever persued popularity simply fell out of energy due to frustrations not compensated by real feelings of fulfilment. i was able to get out of the black hole of sadness really quickly because i was lucky enough to be told that seeking popularity was an infinite stair of sadness before.

when someone comes up and say that he/she wants to be popular, i always dig deep to see the real motivation behind it. what are their practical plans? are they willing to get drunk in parties or share creativity on instagram? you never know how low or high they're willing to go.

[bejapuskas]

@F A B  You only hear what you want to hear, don't you see it? Your argument that Leo Gura is popular doesn't make sense. It's not that he isn't, but he actually says in many of his videos that trying to look cool is just a waste of time: 

@Emerald  By your logic, all the fake business gurus, who cannot admit to themselves that they have enough money already, would be absolutely sane. You can literally spend your whole life following egoic needs without noticing it, that's what 99 % of people do, still you promote it.

Edited January 25, 2019 by bejapuskas