How to escape materialism

[Paan]

I am always looking to buy new things. I dont actually buy very much but my mind just gets really tangled up when something pops up in my head. Especially watches, i love watches and I could have had a lot of them..But same here, I get caught up in buying the next watch and then my mind gets so tired and my desire fades away. Sometimes I buy a watch and then enjoy it for a few days and then realise it didnt make me happy and I get anxious for not saving the money instead.

Ive come so far to realise that material thing will never make me happy, not even a big paycheck or a great achivement. It all will fade away eventually.

But still my mind plays with me, mostly when it comes to watches( it gets the most traction) but also other things to. And as i mentioned before, its not always that I buy something, often i dont but its the mind that really gets caught up in the buying phase. And I try with all my effort not to buy because I know the outcome.

What I notice with watches (for me personally) is that I put alot of my own identity into what watch I buy or want to buy. I want a watch because it tells me and others something about myself. You can say that its kind of a indentity crisis were one day I want a to have a sportswatch and the other day a dresswatch etc. 

I want to break this identification with material things, mostly watches for me personally( I dont have the sam problem with clothes and other things). Its not that I want to show off to other people what things I wear, its more of my own identification of myself, the watch tells alot for myself who I am.

It might also be that I actually have a genuine interest and want to collect watches, but im scared of deluting myself.

What have you done to escape materialism? Can someone recognize themself in my story? Ive studied spiral dynamics and putting myself in orange but begining to approach green,  trying to get more emotional and compassionate towards others.

[Wyze]

@Paan Are there different ways of expressing identity other than through watches?

[pointessa]

@Paan  First of all congratulations on recognizing the limitations of owning and coveting objects. Here's a technique I use that is effective. Mentally walk through your purchase. See yourself spending the money, imagine the rush of the new object and then reflect on how you will feel about it after the newness wears off. Reflect that there will be no long lasting fulfillment with this object. Reflect that you won't fill that rush again until the process starts over.. I have to admit my material thing is art supplies, so I know what you are talking about.

[Paan]

@pointessa  Thank  you , i will try mentally going through that process. Its like you discribe, its that rush you get when purchasing and owning it. The item will tell something about you, who you are, when purchasing that I will become this new person. Eventually it all wears off.

[pointessa]

Paan, I have changed over the years. I have a history of wanting to own items that I think are beautiful. My home is full of them. Although, I appreciate their beauty, each item comes with a sort of responsibility. I have been slowly changing my feelings about objects, I don't want excess, I want just what I need and will use. I can  think better, things are clearer in a space that is free of excess. Every object you own adds a bit  of a burden to your existence. Then there is the cost, you mentioned as well.

[Paan]

@pointessa Exactly. Ive even been buying and resell it because of the reason that I dont need that. Ive come to recognize also that for every item I buy, the other item ive got get decreased in value. Because you have other options. Lets say you only have one good shirt or one good watch, how much more value are you gonna put into just that one item. A lot more than if youve would have had a whole wardrobe with shirt or a whole watch collection.  

[Dan Arnautu]

@Paan Read the book Spent by Geoffrey Miller. He tells you all you need to know and what to do about this.

You can also send him a thank you e-mail after. He responded to mine and also helped me with a specific problem I had.

Note: Please don't just dismiss this reply and go on looking for other people's answers starting to weigh opinions, etc. That's a procastination trap that will keep you stuck. I know because I personally experience it at times.

Take the book, read it, and then do the work it tells you to do. I can guarantee it's all you need.

Good luck!

[Paan]

@Dan Arnautu  Thank you , i will do as you say at pick that book up

[Sockrattes]

Quote

How to escape materialism

Your materialism IS escapism. Deep down you are longing for something entirely else. This sound cheesy but it fits perfectly:

The Rich and the Kingdom of God

17 As Jesus started on his way, a man ran up to him and fell on his knees before him. “Good teacher,” he asked, “what must I do to inherit eternal life?”

18 “Why do you call me good?” Jesus answered. “No one is good—except God alone. 19 You know the commandments: ‘You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, you shall not defraud, honor your father and mother.’[d]”

20 “Teacher,” he declared, “all these I have kept since I was a boy.”

21 Jesus looked at him and loved him. “One thing you lack,” he said. “Go, sell everything you have and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven.Then come, follow me.”

22 At this the man’s face fell. He went away sad, because he had great wealth.

23 Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for the rich to enter the kingdom of God!”

24 The disciples were amazed at his words. But Jesus said again, “Children, how hard it is[e] to enter the kingdom of God! 25 It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.”

--------

Your addiction is partly caused by the fact, you already have a collection of watches. So the urge to expand the collection is an additional weight you have to carry. Sell them all and donate the money and tell nobody about it, unless someone asks. You won't regret it.

Edited January 14, 2019 by Sockrattes

[George Paul]

10 hours ago, Paan said:

I am always looking to buy new things. I dont actually buy very much but my mind just gets really tangled up when something pops up in my head. Especially watches, i love watches and I could have had a lot of them..But same here, I get caught up in buying the next watch and then my mind gets so tired and my desire fades away. Sometimes I buy a watch and then enjoy it for a few days and then realise it didnt make me happy and I get anxious for not saving the money instead.

Ive come so far to realise that material thing will never make me happy, not even a big paycheck or a great achivement. It all will fade away eventually.

But still my mind plays with me, mostly when it comes to watches( it gets the most traction) but also other things to. And as i mentioned before, its not always that I buy something, often i dont but its the mind that really gets caught up in the buying phase. And I try with all my effort not to buy because I know the outcome.

What I notice with watches (for me personally) is that I put alot of my own identity into what watch I buy or want to buy. I want a watch because it tells me and others something about myself. You can say that its kind of a indentity crisis were one day I want a to have a sportswatch and the other day a dresswatch etc. 

I want to break this identification with material things, mostly watches for me personally( I dont have the sam problem with clothes and other things). Its not that I want to show off to other people what things I wear, its more of my own identification of myself, the watch tells alot for myself who I am.

It might also be that I actually have a genuine interest and want to collect watches, but im scared of deluting myself.

What have you done to escape materialism? Can someone recognize themself in my story? Ive studied spiral dynamics and putting myself in orange but begining to approach green,  trying to get more emotional and compassionate towards others.

This is not materialism as it is understood hereabout. Materialism goes much more deep than this.

What you experience is a very common weakness that every human being has. I have it, and it has manifested as me willing to posses from phones to cars, motorcycles , clothes and even big house.

Useless to say that I am not happier than before anything of those. By contrary, I want more or bigger everything.

In my opinion there is just one solution to it. KNOW about it. Be aware that what is happening is just your delusion. You know it, but you will still can't stop going for it. 

Simply put, go and experience this weakness of yourself, buy things, but know that they are only delusions, accept them and, why not, have fun with them. God wants you to experience whatever you can. He needs that experience. Why would He spent a lot of effort in creating this world of abundant opportunities if "we" wouldn't benefit from them ? Because "we" are "He".

 

 

 

 

Edited January 14, 2019 by George Paul

[Rebec]

Try minimalism for a while or read some books on minimalism. I will trigger a mindset that you don't need stuff as much as you think you need it. Reading tips;

Goodbye Things - Fumio Sasaki

The life-changing magic of tidying up - Marie Kondo

Project 333 - https://bemorewithless.com/project-333/

Minimalist Packing Party - https://www.google.nl/amp/s/www.theminimalists.com/packing/amp/

Watch;

- the Minimalists on Netflix

- Marie Kondo on Netflix

And below some YouTube vids;

The more you learn it's a deception to buy more, the less you will be drawn to stuff... 

 

[TheAvatarState]

@Paan really great for you to admit all this stuff to yourself, and to take a higher- level perspective of how your habits are holding you back from the type of growth you want to achieve. 

As I was reading your story, something occurred to me (just because this is how my mind works, and how I know other minds to truly work under the surface). I'm not saying this is true for you, but hear me out and Guage for yourself. 

I was thinking, what's special about watches? Then I thought about The Power of Now by Ekhart Tollé and our addictions to psychological time, and how deeply ingrained that is in each of us. So read The Power of Now. And then consider if your identity tied to watches is actually speaking to a much deeper identity to the illusion of time itself... 

[VictorB02]

@Paan I think it comes naturally, at some point after buying a watch you will maybe think to yourself “that’s it, I’m not gonna buy another”

But the urge/desire will probably always be there.

Edited January 15, 2019 by VictorB02

[SgtPepper]

Why are you so attached to watches? maybe you can stop that need to collect them by understanding yourself.

I can't recognize your story myself but I have had a few friends who liked to collect Nike shoes.

I like to collect guitars? but thats cause they're all unique and I'd buy ones I enjoy playing. 

Im attached to guitars because I love music. I don't really see anything wrong with owning material things, but there's no need to be excessive.

 

[Paan]

@Rebec great material, ill look into that  thank  you

@SgtPepper To be more specific, I dont have a watch collection but I could easily have that if I would have caved in on my minds desire. I dont think owning material things or have a collection is a bad thing. I speak for myself and to me it it gets me out of track, I can change "who I am" buy having another watch. And I always build this image of the happy life if only I just have this one watch, always to be disapointed. 

[SgtPepper]

Perhaps you are just into fashion and designing your appearance? 

Try to strike a healthy balance between your finance and your interests. I get desire to buy things too and every once in a while I do cave. Like books, I got so many, half are unread and I still buy books lol. but I'm not going into debt, you know. Keep it reasonable. 

[Consept]

I think humans naturally have a drive to grow and improve, but what has happened is that this natural drive has been co-opted by marketing and business to make you think that you grow via external, material possessions. So you think that by collecting watches it will let you grow as a person and not only that people will see who you are because of these possessions. But as you've seen a new watch only gives you a temporal state of that feeling of achievement, probably the time you get of feeling great about a purchase is correlated to how much you're bought into the idea that you've bettered yourself by buying this thing. 

By not falling into this trap you can come to realise that growth is only an internal thing and as long as you believe it's not you'll always want something external. I used to get a real buzz buying clothes, phones, computers etc but now it doesn't and I don't expect it to either which means I'm not really even thinking about the next thing I want to buy. But I think it's happened over time, so just like working out a muscle you have to really feel that want and refrain from buying it, once you do it enough you won't even notice. That's not to say don't buy something if you need it but there's a distinction between want for a buzz and want because you need it