Empath : how to handle draining relationship

[Benoit Jazy]

Hello,

With my girlfriend We decided to give it one more chance but we face the same problem again and again.

When we are together, it is so intense that we end up totally exhausted and drain each other all the time. We talk a lot, get caught up in ego. It’s kind of an “addictive” relationship. Each one needs the other to satisfy emotional needs, which is a recipe for catastrophe. There is also love, which makes leaving difficult. Probably a toxic relationship. I feel helpless because I don’t know how to stand my ground. 

Leaving won’t solve all the problems because I keep running into this problem of energy draining in my daily life. It’s really painful.

I read a lot of material on empathy, but can’t solve this problem. I would greatly appreciate some insight! Thanks 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Benoit Jazy Have you seen this video? 

 

[Nahm]

It’s doubly painful, as you’ve each placed your happiness in the future, and contingent on the other. It’s a painful house of cards, with no foundation.  

Emotional self reliance is needed, not more empathy. Look into making yourself happy, so you have something worth sharing with the other. When each of you simply begins some form of personal development, emotionally speaking, like therapy, couseling, reading a book about self esteem, personal accountability for your emotions, etc, you’ll almost instantly get along better. The perspective & therefore the entire dynamic of the relationship will begin to change from getting love, to giving love. This is the path of self honesty. Good luck.