Should I apologize for an action I took years ago?

[Simon Håkansson]

I had a good friend a couple years ago who I spent quite alot of time with. During our last year in elementary school, I took an action that deeply hurt him at the time, but I am completely unaware of how he feels about it now. I was asking him why his phone number wasn´t written in our school catalogue and he confessed a big secret to me, that he had relatives who were look for him and wanted to bring him and his brother back to Afghanistan were he was born. (because they were entitled to it according to tradition after his father had died). I used that situation later to blackmail him openly to make him do things that I wanted (I don´t even remember what they were). Threatening to publish his adress and phone number online. 

We hung out for one year afterward, since we shared the same interest in going to the gym. When he stopped going to the gym our friendship ended. From my perspective, our relationship didn´t get worse because of it and we and our friendship didn´t end in a quarrel, it just passed away. My behaviour could partly be explained through the depression and anger I was constantly carrying inside myself at the time. I was always angry and hated alot of people around me, I don´t see this as an excuse for my behaviour in any way, it was indefensible and mean.

I haven´t met this friend in four years now, I had almost completely forgotten these events until very recently when I started contemplating over my past. It has not really affected me that much emotionally, I just put it on the shelf and forgot about it. Would you recommend me to call him and apologize? A part of me really wants to do it, but another part says that I should just forget about it, to much time has passed.

[Martin123]

@Simon Håkansson That sounds like an awesome idea. Apologising can do several things. 1. You take fully and officially accountability for your actions, 2. If there is any residual pain that your friend might be struggling to release, your apology can help a lot and do a lot of healing work. :-) 

[outlandish]

Yeah man do it. It will be good for both of you.

[pluto]

Always apologize when you get a chance, that's how you grow and move forward

[Shadowraix]

Not a matter of should or should not.

If you want to then do it. Worst case he says it doesn't bother him anymore. And you'll get clarity about it.

A lot of people know exactly what they should do but get bogged down in overthinking.

[zambize]

I apologized to a girl I fucked over a bit after five years of not talking to her, and it felt good for both of us to bury the hatchet