How to make a decision that is “good”

[lostmedstudent]

Hi all

recently I’ve been struggling with a decision that I have to make. It’s not that life changing but I’ve never been this undecisive in my life. I’ve been back and forth between yes and no and I’m basically running out of time and I still hasn’t figured out what I really want.

the more I think, the more confusing I get. So I am wondering, what should I do? Should I sit down and take one full day to ponder it and see the pros and cons and just make the decision or should I just go with my gut feeling and do it and be over with ?

like I said, it’s not a life or death situation. It’s about a school / career task. 

What are the important factors in the decision making so that I  don’t make a decision I will regret or an impulsive one?

 

thank you so much!!!!!

[Cepzeu]

Would you be willing to share a few more details so we can get a better idea of what you're dealing with?

[lostmedstudent]

@Cepzeu I don’t mind sharing but I don’t want to rely on others for making this decision. I wanted some general pointers, if that makes sense.

its about weather I should sacrifice the summer studying to do a licensing exam. It wouldn’t be a big deal if I don’t do it, but if I did, it would open the doors of practicing in the US. But that would means sacrificing the only 1 month I have off where I can use for other things I’m passionate about such as spiritual development. 

Thanks 

[Shadowraix]

Remember that practicing spirituality isn't a race. You got all your life to do this work. So don't feel like you gotta rush it. Just add supplements of it in any free time you have.

Figure out your longer term goals and life, how limited the opportunities are and set some priorities. We are all about the long term here.

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

I got the same situations ....

This changed all . “I don't know" is not confusion. Confusion is "I don't know, but I should know" or "I don't know, but I need to know." When you fully accept that you don't know, you actually enter a state of peace and clarity that is closer to who you truly are than thought could ever be. Defining yourself through thought is limiting yourself.” Eckhart tolle 

 

 You have to allow yourself to be confused and not knowing ! Why are you going against your actual situation? . When you surrender to" i don't know and thats ok "  everything is much clearer . It is a little bit scary and you feel vulnerable , but after  a while you enjoy , it's amazing how this can transform you ! . 

Let me know ! and good luck ! :))

[TheAvatarState]

@lostmedstudent there's a great lesson to be learned here, and it's a paradox: that we are the most indecisive when we know exactly what we want, and are strongly intuitive about a situation. Indecisiveness arises when we aren't in touch with, or actively deny this intuition, because the intuition simply won't allow us to let it go like it didn't matter. But trust me, it's there.

In fact, you know what the right choice is so deeply that your rational mind can't explain it, and you're driving yourself crazy with all this mind interference to try and drown it out. Notice that you can convincingly reason for both choices, and that the reasoning process is not "scientific" but highly driven by emotions and egoic desires. Try to LET GO, and the right choice will become apparent soon, although it may take some time to get in touch with intuition and to deconstruct your walls. 

I hope this video sheds some light on the phenomena of interference that I'm talking about:

 

[ivory]

In the past I had weighed the pros and cons as you mentioned. The thing is, it's really hard to know if you'll like something without actually trying it. In the end, it's life experience that really matters. Once you have racked up enough life experiences it becomes easier to make decisions. That said, if you have to make a choice, it's also helpful to choose the option where you'll grow the most.

[Joseph Maynor]

I would start by writing out a list of pros and cons.  

[Brenzo2]

More specification would be best. But ultimately there are no good or bad decisions. You will label a decision bad or good once it has played out either bad or good. You may just be experiencing the expectation of judgement.

*More well-rounded advice as I don't know details. 

[lostmedstudent]

@Shadowraix  while i agree that it is not a race, i feel like our lives are so limited in time. which is why i don't know if saying that i can put off spirituality for now and focus on it later in my career is the way to go

but you are right, it is not the only thing and we shouldnt rush spiritual work. 

On 1/12/2019 at 1:39 PM, Shadowraix said:

Remember that practicing spirituality isn't a race. You got all your life to do this work. So don't feel like you gotta rush it. Just add supplements of it in any free time you have.

Figure out your longer term goals and life, how limited the opportunities are and set some priorities. We are all about the long term here.

 

[lostmedstudent]

@Joseph Maynor thanks

i did do that ... but it still didnt convince me of any decision... 

21 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I would start by writing out a list of pros and cons.  

 

[lostmedstudent]

@TheAvatarState  yes indeed... i have technically already made up my mind a few months ago, but because i am procrastinating studying for the exam, and since i havent signed up yet for the exam, my mind is chickening out and trying to find a way oout of this.. 

so you may be right that deep down i know what the decision and what i should do is but im trying to reason out of it. im going to try to let it go.. the thing is i have to make up my mind about doing it test and signing up asap. i m going to watch the video you suggested. 

 

thanks so much 

On 1/12/2019 at 2:30 PM, TheAvatarState said:

@lostmedstudent there's a great lesson to be learned here, and it's a paradox: that we are the most indecisive when we know exactly what we want, and are strongly intuitive about a situation. Indecisiveness arises when we aren't in touch with, or actively deny this intuition, because the intuition simply won't allow us to let it go like it didn't matter. But trust me, it's there.

In fact, you know what the right choice is so deeply that your rational mind can't explain it, and you're driving yourself crazy with all this mind interference to try and drown it out. Notice that you can convincingly reason for both choices, and that the reasoning process is not "scientific" but highly driven by emotions and egoic desires. Try to LET GO, and the right choice will become apparent soon, although it may take some time to get in touch with intuition and to deconstruct your walls. 

I hope this video sheds some light on the phenomena of interference that I'm talking about: