Book Recommendations on Forgiveness?

[TeamBills]

Does anyone have any book recommendations about forgiving others, and yourself? Thanks.

[Zigzag Idiot]

A Course in Miracles is described as a transformational curriculum in Self-realization, through forgiveness.

"Forgiveness is the means by which we will remember. Through forgiveness the thinking of the world is reversed. The forgiven world becomes the gate of Heaven, because by its mercy we can at last forgive ourselves. Holding no one prisoner to guilt, we become free. Acknowledging Christ in all our brothers, we recognize His Presence in ourselves. Forgetting all our misperceptions, and with nothing from the past to hold us back, we can remember God. Beyond this, learning cannot go. When we are ready, God Himself will take the final step in our return to Him". -  From the preface of the book.

 

The seemingly Patriarchal language is a turnoff for many and that's unfortunate. I personally see Patriarchality as the current ruin of the world which is lacking in the feeling capacity of the feminine and overweighted in the predominance of the dry intellect of the masculine. So if this prejudice of seemingly Patriarchal language exists with you as it was with me and is seen past, there are gifts waiting to be received here,,,,,

For me also, this book reconciles the former disparities I experienced with Christianity. It's a course in "Self Realization" and is concerned with how one can "have their being".

Free online "urtext" of A Course in Miracles 

http://a.courseinmiracles.com/#gsc.tab=0

 

 

[TeamBills]

 Thanks for the response! I didn't think I was going to get one. I will check that stuff out. I'll probably be annoying the forum with a lot of threads about book recommendations. The thing is I don't trust Googling something like this because if I was selling a book I would learn to beat that system the same with Amazon ratings by giving them out to tons of friends and making them rate *****, etc. 

[d0ornokey]

The Work

6 Pillars of Self Esteem 

Matt Kahn 

 

 

[creede]

I'm with @Zigzag Idiot a Course in Miracles is an incredible book that is very focused on forgiveness. It definitely brings forgiveness into a new light.

I too was often challeneged by the language of it, but followed through with my commitment to finish the years worth of lessons and got through the text as well and it was worth every minute.

This is not a book recommendation but it might help you. Just some things I have experienced first hand.

When we think we've forgiven someone it's kind of plays out like this:

The ego might back down in a situation and say, okay sure, let's forgive this person. It's like an act of generosity, and the ego uses it for a feeling of exhaltation, or as a look at how cool I am to have forgiven such a horrible thing, story.  But it's not really true forgiveness. The ego is still holding the situation in  mind and using it to keep up a defense. Using the situation to control the whole rest of the life with fear, uncertainty, and doubts, so that you'll trust no one.

It seems that in every case of true forgiveness I have had I honestly saw my part in the drama. When that occurs it's like you're pulling the curtain back on the ego and seeing the game it's been running on you. What I have seen each time I've truly come to a place of fogiveness is that I was caught up in the ego's game. How I had been duped into believing everything it was telling me and why I was justified in my defenses (the defenses it had designed).

The thing is, you could talk to a million people and they'll justfy your defenses, but that doesn't help you does it? All it does is support the ego story.

When you truly forgive someone you know it because you experience an absolute sense of freedom. You are free from the bondage of hanging on to an old story that has nothing to do with your present life. You are free from dragging around a thousand pound weight each day. You are free in one more way, because you unraveled one more way the ego was playing you like a puppet.

I wish you the best in uncovering what is truly happening in your desire to forgive.

[Gabriel Antonio]

It's not a book, but I really like this Buddhist meditation. I usually do it lying down. 

 

[TeamBills]

On 1/20/2019 at 1:03 PM, creede said:

I'm with @Zigzag Idiot a Course in Miracles is an incredible book that is very focused on forgiveness. It definitely brings forgiveness into a new light.

I too was often challeneged by the language of it, but followed through with my commitment to finish the years worth of lessons and got through the text as well and it was worth every minute.

This is not a book recommendation but it might help you. Just some things I have experienced first hand.

When we think we've forgiven someone it's kind of plays out like this:

The ego might back down in a situation and say, okay sure, let's forgive this person. It's like an act of generosity, and the ego uses it for a feeling of exhaltation, or as a look at how cool I am to have forgiven such a horrible thing, story.  But it's not really true forgiveness. The ego is still holding the situation in  mind and using it to keep up a defense. Using the situation to control the whole rest of the life with fear, uncertainty, and doubts, so that you'll trust no one.

It seems that in every case of true forgiveness I have had I honestly saw my part in the drama. When that occurs it's like you're pulling the curtain back on the ego and seeing the game it's been running on you. What I have seen each time I've truly come to a place of fogiveness is that I was caught up in the ego's game. How I had been duped into believing everything it was telling me and why I was justified in my defenses (the defenses it had designed).

The thing is, you could talk to a million people and they'll justfy your defenses, but that doesn't help you does it? All it does is support the ego story.

When you truly forgive someone you know it because you experience an absolute sense of freedom. You are free from the bondage of hanging on to an old story that has nothing to do with your present life. You are free from dragging around a thousand pound weight each day. You are free in one more way, because you unraveled one more way the ego was playing you like a puppet.

I wish you the best in uncovering what is truly happening in your desire to forgive.

@Zigzag Idiot @d0ornokey @Gabriel Antonio

Thank you for such detailed responses. Sorry it took me so long to reply, I'm juggling a lot of different things in my life right now. I should probably slow down and focus better. Is The Course On Miracles very religious? I'm not anti-religion but organized religion kind of annoys me. With the link I was given it doesn't go past lesson 1.

 

[Zigzag Idiot]

@TeamBills

I would almost characterize it as anti religious. 

A secular psychologist, Helen Schucman, starts spontaneously channeling Jesus Christ in the late 1960's utilizing modern terms such as ego, projection, dissociation,,,,     With great reservations and the insistent encouragement from colleague Bill Thetford, they start organizing these notes and after 4 or 5 years, begin 'letting the cat out of the bag.'

In this work, references are made to things in the Bible that are clarified or corrected.

The idea of a judgmental God who sacrificed and scapegoated "his son" is stated as a perversion of truth. Also the idea of original sin and guilt is fallacy.

The problem is separate sense of self (ego) with its repressed guilt and the resultant projections of this out onto others in the world.

creede  nailed it with his assessment of forgiveness.

Although in ultimate reality, nondual reality, no such thing exists. But in duality, this act of an inner gesture is effective in opening one up to nonduality or the experience of Being as opposed to reality based on egoic internalized images.

Edited February 1, 2019 by Zigzag Idiot

[TeamBills]

https://www.amazon.com/Course-Miracles-Combined-Helen-Schucman/dp/1883360242/ref=asc_df_1883360242/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=316651574325&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18439227509053362267&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9005511&hvtargid=aud-466360936450:pla-579587107087&psc=1

Is this the correct book? The website linked only has a few pages. There are multiple books with the same name.

[Zigzag Idiot]

2 hours ago, TeamBills said:

https://www.amazon.com/Course-Miracles-Combined-Helen-Schucman/dp/1883360242/ref=asc_df_1883360242/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=316651574325&hvpos=1o1&hvnetw=g&hvrand=18439227509053362267&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9005511&hvtargid=aud-466360936450:pla-579587107087&psc=1

Is this the correct book? The website linked only has a few pages. There are multiple books with the same name.

That's it!

[Zigzag Idiot]

I just found another free online site for reading ACIM.

https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/

[creede]

@TeamBills Hey I'm sorry I didn't realize you had responded I'm new here and forget to click the little notify me box.

I'm glad you found the book. It's definitely got a christian flavor to the writing but like @Zigzag Idiot said it's not religious. There were definitely times I thought I'd barf if I had to read the word salvation one more time or whatever was getting to me in the moment, but I did do K-8 in Catholic school so I had a lot to clear out. Like i said though, it was worth every moment I dedicated to it.

Heads up... almost everyone gets to about lesson 8 or 10 and thinks what the f***? And most put the book aside... do yourself a favor and push through.

I am actually doing the daily lessons again and am about halfway through the year. Feel free to reach out if you have questions or get aggravated or want to quit but deep down inside you just need friendly support to keep going.

Funny thing... the first two people I ever truly forgave were from Lancaster NY, just down the road from you. That's where I grew up, so I had a lot of history there.

[creede]

The other thing you might look into is Byron Katie. Look her up on Youtube, her video's cut through so much crap and you can see how easy forgiveness is without the mind's story.

You can literally watch someone transform their story in 10 minutes with 4 questions. She teaches you how to question the mind's narrative around the event that occurred. Brilliant stuff! I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. And she has books too, but go straight for the videos, the impact is there.

[Mountain-Sage]

I've been blessed by the books by ''Matt Kahn'', which are ''Whatever arises, love that'' and ''everything is here to help you'', two magnificent books, I recommend them both. I cannot say that they speak about forgiveness specifically, but somehow, forgiveness could be seen as anything that helps you loosen on anything that you hold on and that no longer needs to be held, anything that makes you flow with ease and put down your resentment, in that case, they will bring more forgiveness into your life.   

[creede]

@Mountain-Sage your advice on forgiveness is wonderful and I agree!

[TeamBills]

On 2/3/2019 at 2:32 PM, Zigzag Idiot said:

I just found another free online site for reading ACIM.

https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/

On 2/3/2019 at 6:48 PM, creede said:

@TeamBills Hey I'm sorry I didn't realize you had responded I'm new here and forget to click the little notify me box.

I'm glad you found the book. It's definitely got a christian flavor to the writing but like @Zigzag Idiot said it's not religious. There were definitely times I thought I'd barf if I had to read the word salvation one more time or whatever was getting to me in the moment, but I did do K-8 in Catholic school so I had a lot to clear out. Like i said though, it was worth every moment I dedicated to it.

Heads up... almost everyone gets to about lesson 8 or 10 and thinks what the f***? And most put the book aside... do yourself a favor and push through.

I am actually doing the daily lessons again and am about halfway through the year. Feel free to reach out if you have questions or get aggravated or want to quit but deep down inside you just need friendly support to keep going.

Funny thing... the first two people I ever truly forgave were from Lancaster NY, just down the road from you. That's where I grew up, so I had a lot of history there.

Thank you for the advice and thank you for the support you're offering. That is very cool about Lancaster. The even crazier thing is I have posted my hometown in my profile on 2 forums and on each forum someone mentioned about living super close to me.

 

On 2/4/2019 at 10:14 AM, creede said:

The other thing you might look into is Byron Katie. Look her up on Youtube, her video's cut through so much crap and you can see how easy forgiveness is without the mind's story.

You can literally watch someone transform their story in 10 minutes with 4 questions. She teaches you how to question the mind's narrative around the event that occurred. Brilliant stuff! I can't believe I didn't think of it sooner. And she has books too, but go straight for the videos, the impact is there.

I have her book on Audible. I haven't started it yet. I never thought about looking up videos with her. That is a great idea.

 

On 2/4/2019 at 10:24 PM, Mountain-Sage said:

I've been blessed by the books by ''Matt Kahn'', which are ''Whatever arises, love that'' and ''everything is here to help you'', two magnificent books, I recommend them both. I cannot say that they speak about forgiveness specifically, but somehow, forgiveness could be seen as anything that helps you loosen on anything that you hold on and that no longer needs to be held, anything that makes you flow with ease and put down your resentment, in that case, they will bring more forgiveness into your life.   

Ok thank you. I'll check them out in due time. I like the titles of the books.

Quote

I just found another free online site for reading ACIM.

https://acourseinmiraclesnow.com/

Thank you!

[creede]

10 hours ago, TeamBills said:

The even crazier thing is I have posted my hometown in my profile on 2 forums and on each forum someone mentioned about living super close to me.

Synchronicity!!

[TeamBills]

58 minutes ago, creede said:

Synchronicity!!

Lol I guess. The actual odds of it happening must be really crazy. 

Quote

Hey I'm sorry I didn't realize you had responded I'm new here and forget to click the little notify me box.

(I didn't see this earlier) You're willing to help for free. I wouldn't care if you took 3 years. I'm very bad at responding on time.

Edited February 12, 2019 by TeamBills

[rNOW]

"The book of forgiving" by Mpho and Desmond Tutu. 

This line from the book has stuck with me: Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.

[TeamBills]

4 hours ago, rNOW said:

 Forgiveness means giving up all hope for a better past.

I'm confused.