10mg 5-MeO-DMT Trip report

[Igor82]

Snorted 10mg of 5-MeO-DMT Oxalate

Duration: 1.05h, Onset: 22min, Afterglow: 1h

Report:

• I had a good set and setting, with the mindset that I was going to die and not come back. I tried to convince myself of this, but I knew that there was nothing else to do than surrendering,  I was definitely not egoistic about it, I expected to die and I wanted to surrender to my true self. I did kriya yoga just before snorting, I didn't eat for the whole day before the administration.
• After snorting, I immediately went to lay down comfortably on my couch with my head tilted down and my arms spread out, I relaxed and started surrendering into whatever came. The burning didn't start until 5 minutes in, and it gradually got worse and worse, it felt like the salt didn't get absorbed. I still laid there just surrendering, I figured that my nose would start to produce snot which would help the substance to dilute and absorb. I didn't feel anything until 22 minutes in (I watched the clock).
• As I laid there on the couch, just constantly surrendering into whatever came, my awareness started to surge and a body load came. My hands started getting hallow and numb as if they fell asleep, but I was very aware of them and I kept surrendering. I surrendered into any discomfort and any pain, but there was not so much pain, of course I surrendered any thought which would worsen the pain, but the pain or discomfort itself was very bearable, like when you do strong determination sitting, it is very painful, but you can bear it, but if you start thinking that you're about to die, then the pain becomes much more significant... I surrendered all the thoughts, I surrendered completely into reality. Any fear became irrelevant, I wasn't afraid of the thought to snort another 30mg's. but at that moment I was too incapable.

 

• In the peak, my awareness was like never before, I was very aware of reality at that moment, completely aware of the body, the surroundings, and the thoughts, there were a few thoughts, but the frequency of them was greatly reduced, and they seemed to appear as mere sentences in the head, just floating around. It is very comparable to when you do some neti-neti, and you consciously disidentify with everything you thought you were, and you just be there, reality just is, and "you" have no idea what it is, it just is. 
• I couldn't identify with an "I", there was just reality, all the colors, all the sensations, but they didn't really belong. There was no infinity, no love, no emotions, just the present moment. All the thoughts in my head had no "I" in it. At that moment it was very inappropriate to refer to an "I".
• At one point my mother came into the room, and I was kind of capable of talking to her, but I was like at 30% of my energy; I couldn't do much. I am very open to her about drugs, and she might have suspected that I did some, but as she saw that I was okay, she told me that she will come later.
• I gave into thought if going to the toilet... I went and looked myself in the mirror, I couldn't identify with what I saw, there was a person there, but that shape was made out of all these colors, I might as well have been the wall!
• The afterglow was me being much more aware and doing my stuff from that headspace, and gradually I became immersed in more and more thoughts and now here I am. I know that a larger dose will increase the awareness much much more and I have no damn idea of what would happen at that point.

Insights:

• Operating from a place of awareness is the most pleasant thing, it is very worthwhile and beneficial, life-changing. 
• What you do with your body is responsible for what you feel in life... do the actions that make you feel the best and be aware of that, don't just only be aware, but be aware while doing the things that make you happy.

Takeaways:

• I am now more intimate with the direction that im shooting for in terms of awareness.
• Next time I will administer rectally (I hope the syringes will arrive in my mailbox pretty soon, or I will snort the thing instead), and I will prepare myself in the same way.

Some tips:

• What really helped me here was that I approached the experience while being consciously detached from my expectations, my life, and the ego as much as possible by expecting physical death, but by also making the conscious choice that Im ready to die in order to experience my true self... If I wouldn't be ready to die this way, I might have gotten a panic attack. I was also determined to surrender into anything, essentially not doing anything for the next hour.
• Fasting and meditation before the experience really made it smooth for me, but practicing surrender into pain (cold showers) played a big role in me being able to surrender into reality (all the weird sensations going on) with the threshold of it being unbearable, greatly heightened.
• Essentially, a practice of surrender into pain made it much easier for me to handle the physical sensations, but also the expectation of death and the metaphysical curiosity played a big part in removing the thoughts that would make the pain even worse and greatly lowering the threshold of it becoming unbearable.

 

I'll report you guys very soon when I go 15mg's.

[Leo Gura]

@Igor82 That's a tip of the iceberg dose. Get ready for an epic mindfucking at 20mg and above.

Sounds like you've realized no-self so far, but not Absolute Infinity or God or Mu. Keep going down the rabbit hole.

Plugging is far, far superior to snorting.

[Forestluv]

@Igor82 Nice to see you went with the flow and had a pleasant, insightful trip. Low doses have a similiar effect on me. It’s nice to have a low intensity, short duration tool to boost my baseline consciousness level. 

It sounds like you have a great mind set and I look forward to the 15mg report.

[Enlightenment]

13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Plugging is far, far superior to snorting.

It depends on a person. For me plugging barely works (I've tried a few times), but snorting is very effective.

[Igor82]

@Leo Gura @Serotoninluv @Enlightenment

Thank you for the responses, the syringes have just arrived... It is time. I will plug 15mg's as soon as it gets appropriate, ill speak to you very very soon.

 

[Igor82]

I plugged 15mg's of the 5-MeO oxalate today, but it was a failure. I didn't plug it properly, and I suspect my bowells was not completely empty. I  went lying on my back right after administration, rather than lying on my belly with the syringe still inserted... and all of this made it a weaker trip. I did trip, but it felt a little weaker than the trip I had with 10mg's, although this one was beneficial and I will try the proper method very soon. Ill go 16-17~mg's next time.. the setting today was just too perfect.

 

[Igor82]

I plugged 17mg's with proper administration. The tip made me more aware, but not as strongly as the 10mg's, but I got into a meditative state. My ass hurt a lot and the body load was noticeable, almost like my body faded away like when going into sleep paralysis. I surrendered completely, but this was not as significant as I expected it to be, so I wanted to take another dose and get higher.

Afterwards I researched a bit about tolerance, optional ways of plugging, I rewatched Leo's plugging guide, then I went on and weighted out 26 mg's and started dissolving that into water. Dissolving the substance I got (supposed to be 97% purity oxalate) into water was very hard. I sat there mixing for 40 minutes with a total of 0.7ml of water needed to dissolve 90% of it. The substance is very evenly shaped, much like tiny pellets, like processed table salt.

I went and got the solution up my syringe and plugged it flawlessly, I let the syringe rest there for a couple of minutes and I took it out and proceeded to lay down comfortably on a prone position.

I felt myself getting excited, and during the come-up, the bed I laid on felt like it was morphing under by body, like it was fluid and moving around. I surrendered as much as I could... My heart was pounding quite fast and I started getting just a little uncomfortable in my body, like when you dont find the right spot in the bed, but then this subsided and I was left with this meditative state that I have described before. I did feel myself merging a tiny bit with my surroundings, like how Leo gets you to do in his guided meditation, but nothing more.

I took the 26 mg dose out of a position of need, like I was escaping the fact that the 17mg's failed, and during the "peak" of the 26mg's I started feeling depressed, and briefly suicidal, I actually had some suicidal thoughts. I felt like the meaning of my life was gone, I felt disappointed about the trips and my commitments, I felt sad, I started to doubt and get depressed. I tried to do a love visualisation, where I would imagine coming forth and console myself like a loving mother, but it was very very hard for me to summon love. I knew that this was likely to be from the trip, but I was not motivated to fully surrender into it as I assumed that the trip was not going to get any deeper. My reality became negative. As I felt drained, the pain in the butt became much worse. It felt like I was constantly being fucked without lube. It was very bearable, dont get me wrong, but it was hard tolerating that for an hour, and I guess I could handle this much better if I took the 26mg's right away without waiting and taking it when already feeling drained.

I quickly pulled myself out of this state by drinking some water, cleaning up and finally eating some food. I have now learn that unless a second trip is the breakthrough dose, I will feel very drained and disappointed afterwards, due to that I have to wait for the tolerance to subside, hence I cant eat and drink during the wait, etc.

Next time, im either gonna plug 35mg's or snort 17mg's. As @Azrael has much experience with snorting and @Arthur has experience with plugging large quantities of 5-MeO, I would also like to hear some thoughts from you guys specifically!

Thank you for reading! A response is received by much love! 

[Arthur]

1 hour ago, Igor82 said:

Afterwards I researched a bit about tolerance, optional ways of plugging, I rewatched Leo's plugging guide, then I went on and weighted out 26 mg's and started dissolving that into water. Dissolving the substance I got (supposed to be 97% purity oxalate) into water was very hard. I sat there mixing for 40 minutes with a total of 0.7ml of water needed to dissolve 90% of it.

3

I find this a bit unusual. My substance dissolved in water quite easily (almost no mixing). But I guess it depends on how big the salt crystal is. If it is a very fine powder, it will disappear as soon as it comes in contact with water. I think @outlandish will be able to provide more insight.

1 hour ago, Igor82 said:

during the "peak" of the 26mg's I started feeling depressed, and briefly suicidal, I actually had some suicidal thoughts. I felt like the meaning of my life was gone, I felt disappointed about the trips and my commitments, I felt sad, I started to doubt and get depressed. My reality became negative. As I felt drained, the pain in the butt became much worse. It felt like I was constantly being fucked without lube.

 

This is pretty much how 5-meo worked for as well. Your ego started to sense it's own death. Every little thing becomes irritable, and you have a huge body load. At times I really wanted to throw up, other times I would experience pains in my stomach. All of that accompanies by extreme feelings of anxiety and existential suicide. But! ... if you take more and go deeper... all of that goes away. The real peak is not the bad experience. The real peak is amazing and indescribable. It is everything you've been searching for and more.

Taking that into account, 5-meo is not a magic pill at all. As with most of the things in life, you have to go through real pain and suffering to get the experience. And ultimately, you have to surrender yourself to realize yourself as God. For me, when the terror kicks in, I make myself very comfortable on the bed and re-affirming that this is just an experience, that I'm not in control of it, and that I will be alright.

If you are serious about getting the experience, and you can handle it maturely (your not suicidal), you have to go all the way. Increase your doses to what is necessary to get a breakthrough (I needed 40, 50 and 60mg). And actually, it does get easier after a couple of trips. When you go through the nightmare once it doesn't scare you anymore. And maybe because of that, your trips will become more blissful in the future. But the torture was necessary at first... at least for me.

[outlandish]

1 hour ago, Igor82 said:

Afterwards I researched a bit about tolerance, optional ways of plugging, I rewatched Leo's plugging guide, then I went on and weighted out 26 mg's and started dissolving that into water. Dissolving the substance I got (supposed to be 97% purity oxalate) into water was very hard. I sat there mixing for 40 minutes with a total of 0.7ml of water needed to dissolve 90% of it. The substance is very evenly shaped, much like tiny pellets, like processed table salt.

Perhaps you need more solvent (water), you might have reached saturation. Also, perhaps the oxalate form is less soluble in water than HCl. I don't have an answer, just speculating. I've never had oxalate, nor made a solution out of 5-MeO-DMT.

You could try gently warming the mixture to help it dissolve. The classic way to do this is by using a small flame (lighter) and a spoon. Don't get it too hot, just tease it over the flame. Too much heat could degrade the 5-MeO-DMT. Not sure what temperature it would begin to degrade quickly at, but some tryptamines are a bit fragile. Use just enough heat to get it into solution.

For plugging you'll get away with not having a perfect solution anyways, it should be fine just to have it all suspended. There's lots of moisture in your rectum. When you snort it for eg., it's not in solution and it still works.

[Igor82]

@Arthur Thank you very much for this reply!

I can actually ground up the powder to make it more soluble, I didn't think of that... I actually became really happy after the trip, I have not had a single suicidal thought for a very long time, but this started to really creep up on me. As you say, the irritability of my situation got enhanced, and as I kind of was in a sloppy situation before the trip, the trip made it all worse.

Before the second trip, I contemplated if I really wanted to know myself, if I really wanted to do this, and this sense of passion and came forth, this strong desire like "fuck yeah!!" I really really want to know who I am. Even if this intent is kind of contradicting the purpose of this mission (killing myself), I feel like this intent will bring me the proper action that will ultimately lead me trough the terror.

The next trip will be 35mg's of ground up salt and I expect torture... well, why not get tortured on a sunny day, in a clean room full of energy after a good mornin' kriya yoga eh? 

A very good help for me to overcome this "enlightenment contradicting my purpose" is to actually live life like I would live to become 80 years old. If ill die tomorrow, ill die on track on my purpose, I dont mind, its out of my control. If the 5-MeO leaves a corpse, well shit, "I" got what I wanted, my purpose demanded me that, and I stayed on track to the very last moment.

[Igor82]

@outlandish

Thank you. I will try grounding it up. I researched the saturation of salt, and its like 35 parts to 100 parts. I was very mindful of the saturation as I tried mixing the substance, as I added more water (drop by drop), I started to suspect that the actual slowness of the substance dissolving is making me think that the solution is saturated!

I thought of heating it up, thanks for the conventional method (which I didn't think of).

If someone walk in to the room and sees me holding a spoon and a lighter under it, sitting there on my bed, staring very seriously at the spoon like it was life and death, with a syringe on the floor along with a rubber band and a baggie of powder, and im sitting there on my bed shaking and sweating, man... they would never ever understand 

[Forestluv]

@Igor82 Also, be aware if any of the solute is sticking to the syringe. If so, adding a small amount of lube to the water is helpful.

[outlandish]

1 hour ago, Igor82 said:

 

If someone walk in to the room and sees me holding a spoon and a lighter under it, sitting there on my bed, staring very seriously at the spoon like it was life and death, with a syringe on the floor along with a rubber band and a baggie of powder, and im sitting there on my bed shaking and sweating, man... they would never ever understand 

Lol no kidding.. Even if you try to explain it "It's not what you think! I'm just preparing a solution of this drug to stick it up my bum and talk to god!" ..