First Mystical Experience

[Rigel]

Monday december 31st I took what my scale measured to be 13mg of 4-Aco-DMT and the experience was unlike anything I ever experienced in my entire life. I would consider this my first mystical experience.

Now this isn't going to be a trip report I wrote one for myself the next day and I've been thinking about it for the past week. Contemplating what the fuck does this mean for my life.

The reason I am writing this is because I freaked myself out. I remembre very little of it by now (In fact it cannot be remembered the way I usually thought of as remembering). But I know that what I saw was not a simple psychedelic experience and I had plenty of those.

My ego came back stronger then ever and I am going through a backlash right now. I feel like I can't do it. Not because it is too much work or because I lack discipline or something like that but because I am afraid of going for it.

I still have this intuition that it is the thing to do but I am feeling like I just can't do it.

I don't really know why I am sharing this. Probably because nobody that I know would even begin to understand if I told them. Perhaps I just hope for a little bit of moral support.

[Arhattobe]

Hang in there man ❣️ Maybe pick up yogic routine, eat healthy and help your system feel better to make up for the chaotic emotional and mental life you have going on now

gl

[tedens]

 

[Maya_0]

This is a normal reaction to mystical experience, especially if you hadn't done much spiritual work before that  experience. Of course the ego has a tendency to resist mystical experience because those glimpses, it means the death of it. But the death of the ego isn't much of a death at all. As long as you're afraid, you're ego is still alive and well. Spiritual work is about diminishing the ego (and the fear). I recommend checking out the book "The end of your world" by Adyashanti for good guidance on what to do where you are.

[Rigel]

Thank you very much .

@Maya_0 I will do that.

[tedens]

@Maya_0 What to expect next after those experiences?