what is marriage about and am i ready for it?

[Sunil Kumar]

@aurum Acknowledged! 

[Pav]

7 hours ago, Mathew Pav said:

Do you have any insight on how to go deeper in to love without possessiveness/neediness?

I had an insight into this earlier today. Relationships are about the surrender to and flow of divine Love. The problem is that people get caught up into the false belief that love is given to them from someone else, and so they believe they need the other person when in fact the love was originating from within themselves. The infinite love of God is freely given to anyone who is opens themselves to it.

[ajasatya]

12 hours ago, Mathew Pav said:

I find it difficult to come across high quality information on this topic, everyone's beliefs around relationships seem to be tainted by neuroses of various sorts.

Do you have any advice on how to find the right partner? For instance; how can you know if someone is right for you? What is it that attracts people and which of these factors are more/less authentic/pure? To what degree is romantic love authentic or a distortion of reality? How active should one be in their search?

Do you have any insight on how to go deeper in to love without possessiveness/neediness?

What are your thoughts on masculine & feminine energy?

yes, i see what you mean and i agree with you.

- how to find a good partner? For instance; how can you know if someone is right for you?

first, make sure that you want to build a family. building a family doesn't necessarily mean having kids. building a family means spending the rest of your life renouncing selfish patterns having an intimate partner as your best friend. then you need someone like that... someone that truly wants to build a family.

and even that, which is very rare, is not enough. both need to dream of the same lifestyle. dreaming and actually working towards a healthy life (in ALL ASPECTS) is fundamental. living a fully healthy life requires a lot of hardwork, which leaves no open space for boredoom or anxiety. teamwork is required.

- what attracts people and which of these factors are more/less authentic/pure

there is only one thing that attracts high quality relationships: living at a high quality standard and sincerely aiming even higher. such people are so rare that when you see someone like that it will make your eyes shine. the same will happen for the other person.

- to what degree is romantic love authentic or a distortion of reality?

the romantic love that's being indoctrinated in our culture is full of pettiness, neediness and cravings. it's about demanding and expecting... NOBODY can live that and nothing is actually being built.

wanna know what is the most romantic thing ever? your complete presence! in fact, there's nothing more valuable than your full attention. making eye contact and deeply listening is unimaginably powerful.

- how active should one be in their search?

not much. the most important part is about working on yourself. you gotta be ready to offer as much as you think a high quality partner would be ready to offer.

- how to go deeper in to love without possessiveness/neediness?

develop unconditional love towards everyone. be kind and gentle to everyone around you. listen way more than you speak. sympathize with those who suffer and be ready to listen to them just to help them. people can help themselves just by speaking about their problems... usually, you don't even have to say anything. don't manipulate the conversations to be about yourself.

- what are your thoughts on masculine & feminine energy?

everyone should develop the ability to be strong, gentle, honest, cheerful, silent, graceful, flexible and rigorous when needed.

[Hello from Russia]

@ajasatya Thank you, great insights!

I think with masculine&feminine energy the guy meant sexual polarity.

[Devi Shanti]

@Nahm So did he hahaha

@SgtPepper Im afraid that I didnt get what you mean on "to be spiritually inclined", cuz for me what you said about your partner and about beeing "positive, passionate, and committed to living growth-based life" is the core of a spiritual oriented life

[Nahm]

@Devi Shanti We’ll see. 

 

?

[Devi Shanti]

On 08/01/2019 at 9:51 PM, Mathew Pav said:

Do you have any advice on how to find the right partner?

Being the exact person you want to stay with for all your life. Imagine this person and work on being "her". The other person who you want will recognize you. Its a matter of vibration, do you understand? similar attracts similar.

On 08/01/2019 at 9:51 PM, Mathew Pav said:

how can you know if someone is right for you?

As everything I am saying here, Im just referring to personal experiences, ok? I can not give a general answer. Well, in my case, I met the man I married in an environment that was all about me (yoga, music, healthy meals...), and so I could see we had many things in common, to begin with. The day after we hang out, and the conversation we had made me feel I could get old with him without ever getting bored. There he was, being totally honest, transparent, sincerely interested on me, not only on my body. This kind of meeting doesnt happen very often, do you agree?

On 08/01/2019 at 9:51 PM, Mathew Pav said:

What is it that attracts people and which of these factors are more/less authentic/pure?

To my way of seeing, physical attraction is often the first one. Beyond this, people will feel attracted to what they care for in life (for some people it ends on "physical attraction", then they discover there is a person inside that body and many times do not like it). About authenticity and purity, what I think is when you have strong principles and are loyal to them, your horizon of possibilities of relationships will be strict and precise. So, basically the real thing is work on your own personality. You will find someone looking for someone like you.

On 08/01/2019 at 9:51 PM, Mathew Pav said:

To what degree is romantic love authentic or a distortion of reality?

I think its authentic if it is sincere, not only a tentative of imitation of some pattern from cinema, tv, etc. We need more than this to keep a marriage, but if we dont have it, its just brotherly love.

On 08/01/2019 at 9:51 PM, Mathew Pav said:

How active should one be in their search?

I would say you to try to have a social life, go to places do the things you value, meet people with interests in common, accept invitations and if you find someone special, just be yourself and dont be afraid of ask her phone number and call her on the next day

On 08/01/2019 at 9:51 PM, Mathew Pav said:

What are your thoughts on masculine & feminine energy? 

What exactly do you mean?