Men vs women on the self-actualization path

[bejapuskas]

How is the path different for men and women?  

[Bluebird]

The key difference will be in anything to do involving interplay with the other sex.

• Dating and relationships
• Integrating the feminine and masculine
• Anima / Animus

Otherwise, most of the challenges people will have to work through are universal, just experienced in different degrees. For example, most people suffer with self-esteem issues. I could imagine that would manifest slightly differently between a man and woman, but it is fundamentally the same issue with the same solution.

You could make broad statements, but that really wouldn't capture it. 99% of issues will be universal to some degree, picture two overlapping bell curves.

Keep in mind, this is just from my limited male perspective 

[bejapuskas]

@Bluebird  I see... I have a lot of female friends who are interested in growing, but it's very hard to talk about some of the things with them, because I cannot fully understand their femininity, that's why I am asking  

[Wyze]

I think social institutions and culture have a massive effect on a person's development.

For example in most societies today: women are not allowed to openly display aggression whereas men could. I think this leads to alot of passive-aggressive and relational aggression in women, we see today.

Men are not encouraged to experience emotions and openly display vulnerability. This leads to massive disconnection in men: emotionally, socially etc

If we could assume this on the SD chart: Women are not encouraged to develop Red, and men are not encouraged to develop Green.

Edited January 5, 2019 by Wyze

[CreamCat]

50 minutes ago, Wyze said:

women are not allowed to openly display aggression whereas men could.

If you openly display aggression anywhere, you will be shunned by other people. The only difference for women is that they are physically smaller and weaker than men on average. Also, a small man cannot openly display aggression toward a big man without risking serious injury. Most women are like a small man in terms of physical power. However, you can still choose to display aggression. In western societies, women are better protected socially than in middle east, so it's safer for women to openly display aggression.

If you apply the dynamic of fight, a bunch of women can openly display aggression toward one large guy due to having sheer numerical advantage.

In corporations, nobody is allowed to openly display aggression. There, men develop bitchiness.

Edited January 5, 2019 by CreamCat

[zambize]

@Emerald if you get the chance I always enjoy your perspective on gender related issues, I feel like there are disproportionately many Male gurus/spiritual teachers and I dont know why that would be either

[Wyze]

@CreamCat yes thats precise the problem. If open aggression is not allowed in a society, the citizens are unable to develop Red. (To develop is to experience Red until you've understood the lesson, and to move on from it).

I live in a Western society and in the rather blunt society too, and I can tell you, the only outlet I've found thats acceptable for Red is Martial arts training. No way - I can display open aggression and most of the day to day aggression are forms of verbal abuse; and even then its probably better to use Orange tactics.

I agree smaller statue men have a better chance using "brain smart" rather than "physical strength". Hence, we have so much shadow Red in the society at the moment; this could even explain the rise and reminiscence of pagan and archaic times.

 

[CreamCat]

@Wyze You can develop Red without openly displaying aggression. A teenager threw a party at his parents' house without giving a fuck about his parents. When a news reporter asked the boy to apologize, the boy simply didn't care. The boy was Red without being aggressive. That's unhealthy Red, but he was not aggressive.

Watch the following video. The boy simply doesn't give a fuck about obstacles or subjecting his parents to 20,000 dollar fine from police. Thank god, that boy is not my neighbor.

If you want to develop Red, do it in a healthy way. I don't want you to develop open aggression or become someone who doesn't give a fuck about anything but you. But, if you develop Red properly, even nazi tanks will not stop you from doing what you want or throwing a party.

If you developed Red properly, you would be able to think how you can get involved in something you want to do without caring about how other people think about you or how other people will punish you. This means you will just publish artworks or books without worrying about punishments from government or random ideological people. Without complaining or fear, you will find somewhere else where you are not punished but rewarded for your work.

I want to become a life purpose warrior which requires developing Red.

Edited January 5, 2019 by CreamCat

[bejapuskas]

14 hours ago, Wyze said:

@CreamCat yes thats precise the problem. If open aggression is not allowed in a society, the citizens are unable to develop Red. (To develop is to experience Red until you've understood the lesson, and to move on from it).

You can understand the lesson by hitting your siblings and getting yelled at by your dad afterwards, legalization of aggression is too much  Martial artist though seem like awesome people to me at least, they are way better balanced than most people in my opinion.

So Jesus is the perfect example of well developed red?  

[Wyze]

@CreamCat so basically, "just do as you please" - I think Red lesson have a time restriction; for adults its very tricky, and the consequences is very dangerous.

@bejapuskas yeah, of cause no legalization of open aggression. And I would like to see society provide forms of development for Red. I did martial arts; I found it very empowering. However I was only able to practice it once I was making money myself. Prior to that; I had almost no outlet/channel for Red development, maybe except for heavy metal music...lol

[bejapuskas]

@Wyze  I was lucky to get awesome teachers and friends in my early childhood, they have always encouraged me to be creative and original, I could do almost anything I want (in art lessons mostly). Now when I am in high school with different teachers, I can see that they are too strict and it's no good. I think that this approach of teachers can develop your red - you become able to bend rules without breaking them and actually making the result better.