After many months, I can't settle my direction to go for my life..

[Tiny Nietzsche]

Put my name aside, First of all, Thanks everyone reading this because this story is not about yours, Much appreciated for wasting your time reading somebody's life.. I'll write this carefully (yet in concise).. I'm not a Eng native speaker so I apologize If I wrote muddle or syntax & context is off)

My problem is: I don't know which way I should go, I know I've a few direction.. but It all are blurry way, It's not clear..
 

 

 

 

 

I'm 25, currently working as a salesman (fine salary, so much time for self improvement & learning things per day) 
In the long term, I will change to a full time trader (get passive & VI in Cryptocurrency & Stocks, but mainly focus on Forex) 
~10 years from now, I'm doing my work only to get amount of savings, while learning & trading at night or spare time, to keep an experience for that day 

 

but

 

Though I like and have a interesting about economics, politics & kinda things -- I don't like it THAT much, I don't love it, 
TBH, main reason is I do it for money, Successful trader has advantages; Free Time, Able to work anywhere any time,  
Forex market is impossible to die. If I make it once, I can do it as a source of income until I die, plus It almost 100% relies on personal skills & experience,
It's different from doing business (so many human problems many factors, but for a trader, all you have to deal with is YOU)

I want to be a trader because It will offer many many things
- Freedom, both time and money
- It can makes me rich, my net worth ceiling is pretty high If I choose this way
- It ensures I won't be bitter about poor life
- and to play games happily, no bittersweet or anxiety about finance or stability behind 
 

yes..


I love playing game, It's part of my life, I grew up with it, It's my happiness, simply happiness 
(being a trader can gives my high performance rig over the years.. )
..I know this is totally wrong, It's wrong to yearn about the outcome without care about the process

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and the last one, last element that makes this problems get harder

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I love piano, playing piano, music as much as playing game (maybe more but It depends.. my childhood contains a lot of good memories & happiness of playing games) I love it enough to start playing it, bought it (Kawai 800; $7000), and get a teacher myself at age 23 ! (That's very late, But I still had a courage to fulfill it) .. but.. I've strong background of music, I listen to it passionately; EDM (I'm a real listener I've my genre/subgenere preference, know many producers, even doing EDM myself (DAW) but I quit it last year for the same reason below) Classics, Pop. I can talk for days about music.. I also have a plan to take a exam grade (Trinity or ABSRM) soon.. I hardly force my self to practice piano, I enjoy it a lot, not less than playing games, my progression went very well..

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but It seems like I try to put too many thing in life.. and want to be good it all too.. 

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If I had a chance to get back to 5, I'd likely to start playing piano from then on. to be a pianist or composer. Actually, I also want to be a film score composer
but.. I'm 25 already, I'm not far off from real world, I won't stand a chance If I go fully for music path.. 
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So I've main 3 things in my life (9-5 job excluded)

1. Games
2. Trading
3. Piano

*** Right now, I don't have a game to play, so to say, Recently I haven't played games at all, But I'm always ready for upcomings (ex: Cyberpunk 2077, Dragon Age 4, Red Alert 2 Remastered, Die Twice, ...) and when it arrives, I usually play it like hell, I never lose an excitement for games *** 

 

- I know Games should be deleted among those 3.. but.. It's part of my life, I'm not sure you all understand this but If I had a $trillion, I would surely still sit at my home and playing computer games.. 
- I also don't want to quit piano, I practice ~3 hours per day (morning, evening, and before bed), so many pieces I want to play, It's one of my life time goal..
- But in order to be a successful trader, I HAVE to sacrifice, go all in (I really know that believe me..), because It's a zero-sum market and extremely hard to be a survivor
- So, right now, I don't know what should I really do.. my power is divided, It's not well-focused..
- I want to decide this in aspects for a long term scale 
- I hate to quit, because I quit once (EDM producer on DAW & DJing))  

 

.. Should I quit playing piano? give it all to be a successful Forex trader
.. Should I quit to be a trader? because I don't love it, I'm not gonna make it, and I will 1000% regret for chasing after money?
.. Should I full focus on a musician career? (but i'm quite afraid to have a bitter life due to finance and such)
.. or Should I ?

 

(*** I don't want to be a career gamer or YouTuber ***)
 

I contemplate about these a lot, I don't know what should I do.. I intended to figure it out before 2019 but still can't.. 
In fact, I already decided to choose Forex Trader way already.. but sometimes the call in my heart says 'No' (lol sure bc I need its money, soul never lies)


One notion says: Sometimes you have to do what you don't like, or do what makes money and do what you love in spare time (IDK, George Soros said himself trading is boring sometimes for him)
Another one: Do what you love, No matter what (Jobs, Elon, Mayweather, M. Jackson, ... all the successful ppl said in the same way)











 

[Sahil Pandit]

@Tiny Nietzsche Have you taken the LP Course?