Profound Guilt and Grief for the Misery of Others

[emind]

All of my life, Ive lived in a third world country deeply mired in poverty and misery. A country in which not a second goes by after you've walked  out of your house, and there's already someone with a poignant look of hopelessness in their face begging you for money. The levels of inequality are staggeringly high, and, frankly speaking abhorrent. 

Luckily enough, I was raised in an upper-middle class household, and never experienced hunger, lack of resources, education, affection, nor any other of those horrifying realities. I remember, as a very young kid, 6 yrs old perhaps, when I first had the realization that other people were going through hell while I was kicking it back in the comfort of my air conditioned room playing Gamecube, with all the food, love, and attention I could possibly wish for. I was in the backseat of my car while my parents drove through a stoplight, and a young beggar came and approached us, my dad gave him a puny amount of money, and we left. The look on the kids face though, dirty, sad, and despondent, shook me so hard I started crying, I cried all day. I couldn't  accept the fact that there were people out there going through such debilitating circumstances, and that there was nothing I could do about it.

Nowadays, many years later, I still try and give as much as  I can to those in need, but have sort of repressed any attempts to think about the matter deeply, namely because it is so painful. Well today, just now, I was driving through a fast food restaurant when a poor man approached me asking for money, unfortunately I didn't have any cash with me and had to tell him quite bluntly that  I couldn't help him (something I never do), and as I denied him the help he so much needed, I looked at his face as he sadly nodded, and I saw so much misery, pain and suffering in him. You could tell from miles away, how sunburnt, hungry, thirsty, and in need of affection he was. My emotional reaction then caused me to start ruminating about what his childhood had been like, perhaps he had been abused, turned down by his parents, beat, neglected, who knows? Here I was, sitting in the cabin of my air conditioned car, holding what was to him an unaffordable meal from a fast food restaurant, well rested, with no worries, and there he was, struggling to make it to the next day. The juxtaposition was intolerable! 

I am now feeling the same thing I felt in my childhood experience. If there is one word that can be used to describe what I feel, it is guilt. I now realize why I am such an overly nice person, up to the point where people step on me some times. It is because I feel guilty, so guilty for the misery and despair of others. And, to stop and consider that this is just one person of millions upon millions who live in this way, makes me lose all hope. How can the world be such a bleak place?

 

 

 

[Sahil Pandit]

@emind Wow... that's deep.

You were put into this situation for a reason.

What is the reason?  What perspective do you have on the world that people are lacking?

How could you impact other people with this perspective? 

[now is forever]

@emind the guilt factor is a huge topic for the whole western societies, too. one of the greatest struggles that hold us from really changing anything with an impact - if you want to change something don’t only think about influencing others think about the methods and resources you need and start to build a green to turquoise buisness that makes a real difference in the poverty for even just some people. its sometimes a small detail that can make a difference in life quality for the poorest.

if you still live there you have an advantage - direct access and contact to the problems.

i know it’s easily said, but alone finding out what’s missing the most  and what’s second etc. can help to understand the whole system and to find a point where help would be the most effective. it’s about that.

Edited December 31, 2018 by now is forever