It is New Year and all so I thought that I should start keeping a journal about my social anxiety and the process of overcoming it. This thing I have might also be shyness but in any case it is making my life very challenging. I give an enormous fuck about what people think about me and it's not easy to start this journal because of that, but I am still going to do it because I know it will help me grow. It is just amazing that there is a community like this where I can share my problem. I can openly speak about my anxiety only with a close friend and a psychologist. I contacted my school psychologist a few months ago and I am happy and proud of myself for doing that. I can handle my anxiety pretty well and I do not let it control my life completely and that is a great thing. Still I feel like I am stuck at life because of this because I don't talk to the people I want to and I don't have the courage to express myself and I just constantly worry about people's opinions. This problem started already when I was maybe nine years old and it hasn't gotten much better. I really want to be my authentic self in every situation and completely free from other people's opinions. It will take lots of time and suffering but someday I will be there. I believe that keeping this journal will make me feel less alone with my social anxiety and give me more courage to do challenging things. It would be great if this journal could also give some value to others. Thank you for reading.