I have 2 sons, 6 & 4 when can I talk to them about Enlightenment?

[Jack River]

I have 2 sons, 6 & 4 when can I talk to them about Enlightenment?

 

I would guess to a child that is 8 or above it might be necessary to go into the self and it’s phenomenon as experienced in daily life. Just about every moment can be used as a learning experience. 

When or if I had a child I would share with them what is apparent as a self. Discus pleasure/desire..anger, fear, and such. 

To a younger child (4-6 years of age) probably the most important thing for you to understand is the image the parent has about themselves and others (the child) will be superimposed(projected) in that child. The child will pick up these egoic attributes/characteristics as a result. 

So the degree that the guardian is free of images(freedom) will determine the degree of isolation/alienation(ego) that the child picks up along the way. 

So if you really want to help a child it seems simple...discuss together the conflict that arises from moment to moment and don’t yourself impose an image on yourself/others/them. 

Start nearer to what the child already can see within direct observation. Show them that it is common. Talk about things with them. 

I would save the books for curriculum based learning(skill, cultivation, knowledge) for practical/technical education. 

 

 

 

Edited December 31, 2018 by Jack River

[archi]

it depends on development but I see that 14+ is ok but 12- is not enough yet

[Mezanti]

@Tony 845

To answer your question, if your thinking about telling them about enlightenment, it would probably confuse them and even if it didn't, the judgement and ridiculation they would take on from other kids at school and other social environments if they talked about nonduality, would probably cause them to either drop your philosophy or it would make them feel confused, misunderstood, afraid,shy.. which would be the opposite of what you intended, which was for them to be peaceful, mindful, secure,content and happy. 

I suggest you do it in a subtle way, one where you teach them to value truth, to be skeptical about their own beliefs and thoughts, to instill within them a curiosity to find out what they are.

But before you do any of that first teach them to meditate 

[sarapr]

5 hours ago, Tony 845 said:

its an interesting topic, obviously they are both very young, but I also don't want to see them suffer, I was thinking once they are 12/13? Go ahead give me you're thoughts on the matter...??‍♂️

 

 

 

 

The best thing to do is to just have discussions with them about various topics and try to open their mind and generally just activate their critical thinking and maybe after they're all good with thinking for themselves and now they're eager to have discussion start to slowly have little mentions of enlightenment and spirituality here and there and from there they'll research the rest and maybe if they were interested they'll come back and talk more and you could guide them more or show them resources so they could do that themselves.

Here's my own experience and I'm 19 now. I had and still have a very close relationship with my brother and around the time i was 11 - 12, he would have all these fascinating topics to discuss with me and he would show cool cutting edge tech and science in different fields to me then we'd have discussions about everything from human evolution or the beginning of existence to quantum mechanics or history of different technological advances or successful people... and most importantly of all each time I was faced with big life decisions and all, he'd do all he could to help for example, he really made it clear for me at an early age that I needed to figure out what I wanted to do in life and that the sooner I figure that out the more I could work on it and that the work put in early on will have the highest gains in the future and just really made me think about life a lot and I really feel like that I'm at such different place in comparison to all my friends and relatives and that I already have a way deeper understanding of life than anyone I interact with.

So the best way would just be to have deep discussions with them about anything and make them think. Because if you want to force enlightenment on them or just keep giving them advice like the old grandpa would do, it would make them rebell against it and the best way would be to help them figure it out on there own. 

One thing you should really pay attention to is to not come off as a parent telling them what to do but as a friend who wants to have fun with them cause the only reason I listened to my brother was because he wasn't forcing it, I naturally wanted to but if my parents wanted to say the exact same thing just cause they came off as wanting to control me I wouldn't listen so be very careful with that. 

[ground]

6 hours ago, Tony 845 said:

Go ahead give me you're thoughts on the matter...??‍♂️

you shouldn't impose your delusion on them. So don't touch them, don't teach them  unless you are enlightened. For the time being They know better than you.

[Shadowraix]

Do not give them any answers. Enlightenment is a journey of self discovery. You can only encourage them to find it. Suffering is an essential experience. To hide that from them is limiting their self discovery. 

[now is forever]

i wonder if there are books about spiraldynamics in child development- would be really interesting to gather all the information - i think parallel to what colour we get educated by our parents, or in school, there are different development stages in children. i mean not to educate them in a special way, but to understand what content they are open to get in contact with. answers are not just found on the street, if no one presents us the questions at the right moment.

writing a book like that could even be a temporary life purpose.

Edited January 1, 2019 by now is forever

[Rilles]

9 minutes ago, now is forever said:

i wonder if there are books about spiraldynamics in child development- would be really interesting to gather all the information - i think parallel to what colour we get educated by our parents or in school there are different development stages in children. i mean not to educate them in a special way but to understand what content they are open to get in contact with. answers are not just found on the street if no one presents us the questions at the right moment.

Maybe you could write something like that?  Its fascinating for sure...

 

Beige-baby attached to its mother for survival

Purple-young toddler seeing its parents as Gods, the world is magical and monsters are under the bed

Red-Terrible twos, child breaking away from parents grasp gaining independence, troublesome and domineering, kind of narcissistic

Blue-Young schoolchild following rules not questioning authority, like teachers etc

 

So much to dig into...

notice that you can get stuck at these stages if your parents dont know how to raise you... thats where it gets really interesting...

Edited January 1, 2019 by Rilles

[now is forever]

i think partially it’s possible to find answers already in montessori education, but also in steiner pedagogy as he already integrated the idea of phylogenesis = onthogenisis in his development theory.

guess it’s a matter of boiling these down to an open, free experimental concept and then integrating shadow etc. and the right rituals at the right time.

Edited January 1, 2019 by now is forever

[Tony 845]

@Mezanti my 6 year old mediates a little already 2 mintutes here, 2 minutes there, it's cute 

[Tony 845]

@sarapr maybe 18 is a good age lol & I don't want to force it on them unless they are deeply suffering I will bring it up to them.

[AlwaysBeNice]

I wouldn't push anything, and I can't really comment because I don't know enlightenment...

But I think it would be a good idea just to gently 'teach' or correct or remind them to the interconnectivity/unity of things, why not? this isn't about dogma, it's just the truth. And society will also feed them with information that may not be so truthful

Or if there is really pain/suffering or fear, maybe just ask, 'are you the pain? or the body? if you are watching the body?'

[TheAvatarState]

@Tony 845 @Jack River I would highly recommended watching Avatar: The Last Airbender with your children when they're young.

 

[DocHoliday]

This is a very serious matter indeed. I don't exactly know if you've noticed up until now, but most kids, especially the younger they are, are naturally closer to the "being experience" of what people strive for when they want to become enlightened. This is because they haven't been conditioned yet, so the biggest favour you could do them is simply to lead with a great example. Be the best father to them that you could be. Show them what it's like being a real man!:) (given that you know- and have a good understanding of what that means).

Leading with a good example is everything!  Never, under no circumstances preach or do other things of that nature. When they're shown what it's like being a true higher-consciousness being (or man, first and foremost), then they will naturally want to know through their own curiosity how to become like you. Then, and only then, you might want to tell them a little bit about spirituality and stuff if it's appropriate, but as someone said before: never ever ever force it onto them or let it appear as if that's something they ought to pursue! I think this is very important not to bungle them. 

Edited January 1, 2019 by DocHoliday
Reason for edit: typos and stuff

[Mezanti]

@Tony 845

7 hours ago, Tony 845 said:

@sarapr maybe 18 is a good age lol & I don't want to force it on them unless they are deeply suffering I will bring it up to them.

18 may be too old, i was 15 when i started to learn about it, and i feel as if though that was the right age for me.

it depends on the child, you should judge whether he is mature enough to handle knowing about enlightenment, if he isn't just give it time. but they should be aware of it by the end of their teens.

Edited January 1, 2019 by Mezanti

[DocHoliday]

And please remember: the path towards spirituality, to even be ready for it, necessitates that they have gone through prior developmental stages first. They're ready for it, when they're ready. Or in other words: the student appears, once the master is ready. [Which is why it is so crucially important IMO to lead with that great desireable example of your own] . And then, as I said, will they come on their own to what's best for them. 

[Tony 845]

@DocHoliday kids are closer to enlightenment then most adults I agree, I was driving somewhere 6 months ago, lost in Neurotic thought & my 3 year old at the time said daddy look birds, there were pigeons on a telaohone wire & he was amazed by them! Utterly in the moment, that's when it hit me how fucked we are as humans lol ? 

[DocHoliday]

@Tony 845 Exactly!:) I'm sure you'll do great as a father. The mere fact that you would like to lead them to higher levels of overall consciousness is sufficient proof for that, at least for me. However, It's just such a shame in general that so many parents always want to teach their kids, constantly, always imposing on them their own (unprofitable) values and limitations but then reversely refuse or even completely disregard the numerous lessons that they themselves could learn from their kids in return, which is in my mind one the biggest mistakes parents could make. 

Not only have they given the gift of life to a new, wonderful mind that is part of the absolute infinity we're all in and are, but almost more importantly have they indirectly given themselves the gift of being able to observe and become fascinated by what it's like having the invaluable chance to experience a completely new and untouched mind and life manifesting right in front of them. 

[outlandish]

When I was about 5 my parents were meditating a lot and they shared a storybook about the life of the Buddha, and it talked about how he became enlightened. I only partially grasped it, but I think it made a bit of sense intuitively at that age.

I remember trying to meditate with them and being very distracted, not being able to sit still, and my parents telling me not to worry about it because I was already enlightened haha. I think I did actually understand that enlightenment was inherent but that I was unable to realize it, and that my parents were kind of letting me off the hook, if that makes sense.

So I think a young child can understand these things a bit, but I also think that it's unnecessary. 

More important at that age, I feel, is just to help them in the nitty gritty of attachments and emotions, help them deal with their own suffering in those moments, and model the right approach to life. 

My kids are about the same age as yours, and that's my approach right now anyways. They've done a little bit of meditation and I think they kind of get it. It's never something that I put on them, just up to them.

[now is forever]

@outlandish that reminds me of when my mom let us do playful yoga - she asked us stuff like if we can put our feet behind our head or go into lotus. it just triggered us to try, as she said she can’t do that and she told us there where hundred year old beardy men in india, who lived in forests who still could do that like children. that was enough to play yogis the whole day. and to try if i could still do that minimum once a year.

but today you can just send them to yoga class or give them a youtube video.

Edited January 2, 2019 by now is forever