Lost and confused for future .

[Giulio Bevilacqua]

Hi everyone. I'm 20 years old . One year ago i had Derealization/ Depersonalization and a lot of existencial crisis. This brought me to leave university. I was studying philosophy . Now i'm healed , after knowing spirituality and spiritual masters like eckhart tolle and osho.

Now i feel very lost because i don't know what to do and what i want  for my future . I don't feel the sensation : " I want this ! ". 

I know i want to go to university , but i don't know what to study. I was very interested in philosophy , and after spirituality it seems very nonsense. Osho had influenced me a lot by saying that philosophy is pure madness and far away from truth.  

Maybe he is right. 5 years studying philosophy could be stupid.

I don't feel any attraction to an other subject .

I surrender to the situation hoping that something happens  .

Have you any advice ? Thank you very much. Sorry for my english 

[ajasatya]

@Giulio Bevilacqua no academic course will ever get you closer to Truth because that's not the point of academia (even though many lunatics think that's exactly the point of academia). thus, if you want to go to university you better understand it first.

this is what i did: i went for a practical master's degree, knowing that it has a very specific goal. i studied AI and machine learning.

why don't you go for engineering, medicine or something like that? discard the courses focused on mental masturbation and put your hands on. elon musk is transforming the world of electric/autonomous vehicles and sustainable energy. there are several interesting practical courses that can get you to actually doing something interesting with your knowledge.

[BKH]

Philosophy is no more nonsense than anything else. Maybe you will be a new maverick revolutionizing the field of philosophy, integrating consciousness and direct experience? Elon Musk is nonsense too. Osho is nonsense. Following what I say is nonsense. Everyone is just what they are. If you feel you want it, as, it is your truth, believe in it and yourself without compromise and go for it!

[ingurix]

Try to remember your childhood - there must be some certain things that fascinated you when you were a child. Children are extremely curious because they are not yet fed with all those nonsenses from adults. Dig up your child spirit.