Being social

[NoSelfSelf]

I dont consider myself an introvert or extrovert anymore but i recognize that i dont really enjoy making friends with new people its like there are few people i feel i want to talk to and thats rare did anyone "hate" didnt find socializing with people(espeicially new ones)natural thing and is not pulled to do it but found a way to enjoy it overcome this?

[aurum]

On 12/30/2018 at 3:27 PM, NoSelfSelf said:

I dont consider myself an introvert or extrovert anymore but i recognize that i dont really enjoy making friends with new people its like there are few people i feel i want to talk to and thats rare did anyone "hate" didnt find socializing with people(espeicially new ones)natural thing and is not pulled to do it but found a way to enjoy it overcome this?

You don’t enjoy socializing, so you don’t go out and gain social skills. Because you don’t have social skills, you don’t enjoy socializing. 

It’s a loop, and you’re stuck in it.

Also, here’s a lesson in social skills: care that your audience can understand you. I had to reread your paragraph several times because you didn’t put in basic punctutation. 

 

[Moreira]

4 hours ago, aurum said:

You don’t enjoy socializing, so you don’t go out and gain social skills. Because you don’t have social skills, you don’t enjoy socializing. 

It’s a loop, and you’re stuck in it.

Also, here’s a lesson in social skills: care that your audience can understand you. I had to reread your paragraph several times because you didn’t put in basic punctutation. 

 

I think his overthinbking mind (negative by nature) imagines worst cases scenarior where socializing go wrong, thats why he dont even try. His conclusion of socializing is based in his imaginary negative thoughts. One day if he has the courage to socialize his direct experience will demonstrate himself that his thoughts were wrong and its not so bad to socialize.

[universe]

Have you watched this video? Good.

Have you practiced every technique in this video?

No. Ok now you go out and start to practice each technique day by day when talking to new people.

The goal is not to make new friends but to get the practice.

[NoSelfSelf]

Guys im socializing,and find out that its best to be funny and not being serious...

[bejapuskas]

@NoSelfSelf That's a good insight  But sometimes, people want you to be serious and compassionate you know... Maybe you don't like talking to certain people, because you either have some deep problem, that is holding you back, or you feel like you cannot express yourself authentically in their company, that is a very common problem - That's why I like 1 on 1 conversations more, because we have equal space to talk and listen.  

[NoSelfSelf]

@bejapuskas yeah i love 1 on 1 conversations i cant keep up in group conv.  Too much infornations bouncing around and yeah i cant express myself in public authenticly because that would be crazy ??

[bejapuskas]

@NoSelfSelf Exactly  But I still cannot handle small talk, like when someone asks me how was school or what did I do that day... I'm always like I watched Leo talking about cumming into your own vagina and conceiving yourself! But they wouldn't like that  My friend actually did it once.

[NoSelfSelf]

@bejapuskas hahah yeah i wish small talk is something like (not what you did in school ) but hows your sucking on societies tit going btw you are not even aware that you are your father and you gave birth to yourself...that would be too far for culture but it would be interesting ?