PUA and RSD: Should I really follow these communities?

[c_wave_arts]

Hello All,

I want to say firstly that I have no knowledge of both PUA and RSD except from a few videos here and there, especially what Leo had to say about these topics. Should I really follow PUA and RSD? Why not just call it what it is: self-development/self-actualization? Sure there could be amazing teachers in these communities, but why not take lessons from Actualized.org and work on these areas on a fundamental level? It's all just self-help anyways, right? I feel that Actualized.org + independent research from taking action and reading from Leo's book list would be more than enough to put you on track towards where you want to be in terms of relationships and dating. Too much info, I feel, becomes unnecessary and maybe even damaging. I'm not concerned with surface level change, but deep, fundamental change that Leo is advocating for.

What do you think? Thanks in advance!

[YaNanNallari]

Follow anyone who you want to be like

[universe]

It really depends on where you are currently at and what you want to get.

Dating can be compared to a market. There are people constantly looking for a partner and they want the best they can get.

There is no fixed "value" for every person because everyone has slightly different things they look out for in a partner.

If you have a life purpose that you follow and have mastered your emotions my guess would be you dont necesseraly need to know about PUA/RSD. Otherwise it can be helpful. If you want to learn it, try dating some people and find out what your sticking points are. Then read up on material on how to overcome them and test, test, test.

[LeoBacca]

Have you watched this? If not do so

Chasing women and trying to be alpha and macho and social ecc.. will not get you fullfilled in the long term

What is fullfilling is live a life that is authentic to you which basically means care about your life purpose and stop caring about others approval and it is inherently attractive anyway so,

Instead of watching hours of PU material just work on being happy by yourself and working toward your life purpose or seeking the Truth.

 

 

[c_wave_arts]

@LeoBacca I believed I only watched the first part. I'll definitely need to check out this one!

I agree with what you said. That's what my view is leaning towards. I won't discredit the possibility that there is some value with PUA/RSD, but in the long-run, following life-purpose and true happiness can lead to more fulfillment. Still trying to verify that in my own life. Getting there, slowly but surely haha!

[LeoBacca]

@c_wave_arts If you have never tried doing cold-approach do it, of course be open to new ideas.

But ensure first that you have a strong commitment towards authenticity and Life purpose

[Leo Gura]

@c_wave_arts The point of PUA/RSD is to learn how to get laid.

If you struggle with dating you certainly won't learn how to get laid watching my videos.

Then again, PUA/RSD is quite neurotic, dysfunctional, egotistical, ideological, and shallow.

But it will get you laid if you take action on it. Which could be useful.

[Identity]

@c_wave_arts

I think there definitely can be some value in listening to RSD and the PUA community. For me, and I guess a lot of other people, it provided a way to get some success with girls and to overcome fears. Taking the advice from RSD got me from being a virgin to having a series of one night stands, and overall gave me more confidence in the attraction domain. Also, although largely from a stage orange perspective, listening to their analysis will give more understanding of the dynamics between man and woman. 

However, after a while, you start running into limitations... Because, to a large degree the advice is "do whatever gets the girl" you get yourself tied up with a lot of manipulation. For me, this led to feeling increasingly inauthentic. Especially because I am moving into stage green at the same time, this created a gap between my values and actions and got me stuck. Also, the people you will surround yourself with and the girls you will attract will most likely steep you deeper into stage orange. 

Depending on where you are at in your own journey, I would consider listening to some other sources that are a bit higher up the spiral. This will allow you to grow into it and avoid running into some of the limitations. From RSD, Max is probably more on the stage green side of the bunch. You could also check out Brain from the fearless man, he has some cool videos IMO.

Then again, not sure if I am the best source to take advice from, I haven't gotten laid for almost half a year now 

[bejapuskas]

Just don't use this attitude as an excuse to not talk to girls  A developed person is probably not shy and it's very funny to talk to them sometimes, you don't necessarily need to manipulate them or anything  

[Identity]

@bejapuskas Yeah true. Don't worry, I'm getting back into it  In many ways I actually have more attraction and better conversations with girls. However, for some reason, I can't seem to turn this attraction into concrete results. Perhaps things getting more real now scares me. I'm not sure, still figuring it out 

[bejapuskas]

@Identity As long as you enjoy the journey, it's good  

[kev014]

@c_wave_arts What are your goals? If your goals are to improve with women, the whole pickup world can help to a certain extent. Just avoid the ego/mental masturbation/high school boy bullshit associated with it all ('I've gotten with __number of girls that are so hot.') Seek to understand the underlying social dynamics between men and women and how to relate with them in a healthy way. Would highly suggest reading 'the rationale male' as it goes in to great explanation of how the dating world works from a broad perspective, the different types of men women are looking for throughout different times of their lives, and the differences between how men and women approach dating. Highly informative and beneficial. Main takeaway from this book for me was high quality women want a high quality man. If I want a woman who is a 10/10 in all aspects of life, I myself need to be that as well. This is where Leo and other self help content and strategies comes in to play; focusing on your own development emotionally, physically and spiritually. Once again, if your goal is to increase your understanding of women such that you can better relate with them, consider focusing on ideas of masculinity vs femininity and the different ways these energies interact with the world and each other. Books like 'way of the superior man' as well as 'men are from mars, women are from venus' do an excellent job furthering this understanding. 

All the PUA tactic bullshit is a waste. If you spend your time becoming a great fucking guy, all you have to do is look a girl in the eyes and have a conversation and she'll know you're a great fucking guy. You don't have to try at all, you are just who you are.

[Vercingetorix]

well if girls and dating is a sticking point for you, you will face fears and develop yourself massively from it. I'm into it right now.

[brugluiz]

RSD is just about getting laid. Following their tips is useful because you'll actually get laid. But I feel it's very shallow and doesn't fulfill my soul.

They have some ideas like: "you have to go out every night, because, if you don't, you're a chode." So it's based on humiliation. I hope Owen Cook evolves with Julien Blanc, but maybe it'll take some time.

It's funny because Owen Cook's book list is full of several types of books, from Orange SD to Turquoise SD books. I wonder why he's so attached to this pick-up culture. He seems to be a very kind man.

[Leo Gura]

4 hours ago, brugluiz said:

I wonder why he's so attached to this pick-up culture. He seems to be a very kind man.

There is nothing more addictive to the ego-mind than an ideology which brings in $$$, fame, and pussy. That's a lethal combo.

[Shadowraix]

7 hours ago, brugluiz said:

RSD is just about getting laid. Following their tips is useful because you'll actually get laid. But I feel it's very shallow and doesn't fulfill my soul.

They have some ideas like: "you have to go out every night, because, if you don't, you're a chode." So it's based on humiliation. I hope Owen Cook evolves with Julien Blanc, but maybe it'll take some time.

It's funny because Owen Cook's book list is full of several types of books, from Orange SD to Turquoise SD books. I wonder why he's so attached to this pick-up culture. He seems to be a very kind man.

Seems to be more about immersing yourself in the perspective of the people you are going after. When you learn what techniques get you laid you also have to embody the mindset in which the behavior stems from. It's like acting to get what you want it seems.

[c_wave_arts]

@Leo Gura Can you have cake and eat it too with self-development? (Is it possible to get laid and develop yourself?) Or do both of them lie on a spectrum on either ends? When I look at RSDTyler and other material, I can kinda see how it can be proactive but there's this underlying blanket of ego-driven behavior that just seems self-sabotaging. This is why I say that there shouldn't be PUA or RSD, but just self-development across the board. In essence, do I really need to pursue RSD when self-development already points me to the right direction anyways? Sure I may give up getting laid constantly, but it's the long-term journey that is worth it. To me, RSD material seems like a series of one-night stands for frat boys before they realize their own juvenility.

I think it all boils down to: Are you horny or not? Can the horniness wait?

@LeoBacca I have done some cold approach and it did help me become more confident with women. Still keeping my life purpose and overall self-development in check!

@kev014 My goals are to get better with women (update: although since I am now in a relationship, it's now more like understanding women: how to communicate with them, and how to be better intimately with them). In the long run, I like this second goal better. I actually started to read The Red Queen and already it's opening my mind into the nature of sexuality more than before! Sex in a relationship is so much better, from my direct experience!  It helps that my gf is horny all the time! haha

@Identity I'll give them a listen. Even though you haven't had success yourself, doesn't necessarily mean that what you provide isn't useful to some.

@bejapuskas Good point! haha I love talking with girls, but I need to do it more.

 

[bejapuskas]

3 hours ago, c_wave_arts said:

In essence, do I really need to pursue RSD when self-development already points me to the right direction anyways? 

You literally don't need to pursue anything