What is biological pathway/cause of extremely low motivation?Are there natural cures?

[lmfao]

I'm probably gonna start off at a bit of tangent just describing my experience and then I'll go into my actual question.

My mood is too much like a yoyo, and this is probably the case for other people with depression. There have been moments during some of my days where I'm all of the sudden swept by a feeling of lifelessness. I'll lack the energy and motivation to move a single muscle in my body. Simple acts like even walking and talking feel like a drag. I've had what is depression for at least 2+ years now, and I'm 18 right now. I've been on an SSRI for 2 years. I also have anxiety problems.

I had this feeling sweep over me today after meditating for 80 mins today. Although the feeling has significantly subsided in intensity, I've noticed that the feeling is always present in my conscious experience its just that I've never been mindful of it until now. Even as I type this sentence I notice that the feeling is in my experience, and if I wanted to I could let that emotion spread throughout my body and try to be mindful of it but Im in an extremely large habit of constantly resisting it. Because trying to be mindful of it feels hard, although it feels more doable for me than it did before. I've started to sort of accept the emotion but its a very big leap to make. It almost feels like im forced to make the conscious decision to resist the emotion because it feels like too much to digest. Any time that I've taken the first one or two steps to changing deep rooted habits I'm always ambushed by the same demon.

 

I've tried googling what cures there are for low mood and depression, but the "cure" just basically seems to be all of self help. I initially made this thread with the intention of finding biological hacks but as I'm typing this I realise that there probably aren't any. I don't think there's some magic way that I can just easily fix my neurotransmitters or whatever the fuck it is.

From a scientific view, anything about is due to a combination of genetic and environmental factors. And whilst it is unhelpful to play the role of victim with "bad genetics" I cant help but feel I'm cursed with genetic factors. One of my parents has pretty bad depression, one of them has pretty bad anxiety issues,  and I have a strong family history of psychosis. Whether or not I'm genetically predisposed to depression probably has little bearing on what the solution is for me. 

 

Note: The title of this thread reached the character limit so I had omit putting "the" before "biological".

Edited December 30, 2018 by lmfao

[ajasatya]

@lmfao what do you eat? what is your idea of a perfect life and how far is it from your current state?

[Hellspeed]

Roots? Unresolved Trauma and Resistance to oneself, fixed paradigms.