Trip Report (Shrooms)

[StephenK]

Trip report from yesterday

T = 0 minutes: Took 3 grams of shrooms (dry) ground up into a fine powder with yougurt.

T = 20 minutes: Hands feel clammy. Breath feels deep and electric. Took a walk down to a wooded area. Slight nausea. This is hitting me harder than I expected.

T= 45 minutes: Mind is cycling continuously between acceptance and control. The ego rocks up with concerns and anxieties, only for me to see whats going on, then letting go of the thought, from which spaciousness opens up. This battle goes on for about another 45 minutes. Practice deep slow breathing to center myself whenever things start getting hairy.

T= 90 minutes:  A plateau seems to have been reached. A deep underlying agitation is noticed within me. I feel paralyzed, wanting to do something, but knowing that nothing needs to be done. It dawns on me that wherever there is suffering, the ego structure is at play. Nothing matters. Everything just is. There is an inherent painfulness in the desire for change. I asked myself the questions:  "Why be afraid?" The mind then immediately tries to run to thought for an answer, and this is how I know deception is at play. The mind wants me to get lost in the complex maze of thought. There is no reason to be afraid. It is simply a choice. In fact, everything, in every moment, is the choice between love and fear.

T=180 minutes: I'm pretty much sobered up at this point. I realize that the spiritual search is far more urgent than previously thought. The ego structure is like an addiction far worse than any drug. Given my previous life trajectory, if I don't ramp up my quest for liberation, I will die achieving nothing as far as liberation goes. There's a shit tonne of work to be done.

The clock is ticking.

[Dizzy]

Interesting. Keep up the work, more and more insights will come ? 

[Nahm]

Short & sweet. Thanks for sharing!

[FredFred]

9 hours ago, StephenK said:

I feel paralyzed, wanting to do something, but knowing that nothing needs to be done.

I've had a similar feeling in one of my recent trips. Thank you your for sharing!

[StephenK]

@Dizzy Thanks for reading.

@Nahm The trip was definitely short compared to others (I think that grinding up the shrooms allows them to be metabolized faster, and hence hits harder).

@FredFred Yeah, the desire for change can really hurt.